15. 185815 - Slice of Life II (第1季)【完整台词】

Anyway, I thought we already had the family we wanted.

Come on, Jason, those are just rationalizations but stop and think about it a minute.

Can you give me one real reason why we shouldn't have another child? Wait here.

Okay, next we have to go over the basic home expenses water, heat, gas, electric - Are you with me? - Till death do us part.

Hey, I haven't seen you crazy kids since you got back from the honeymoon.

Hey, Richie, did you have any trouble finding a hotel that would take pets? Mike.

No, it's all right, Carol, I'll handle this.

Mike I'll have to ask you to take that back.

No, no, Richie, don't get me wrong.

I mean, Carol's a great catch.

And as soon as she's cleaned, scaled and deboned, she's fine.

And now I'm warning you, Mike.

Nobody talks to my simulated wife like that.

Simulated or not, I love her.

Oh, now see what you done? Honey, don't cry.

Your Richie's coming.

What, are you crazy? Mom told you not to do that.

What are you gonna do? Tell on me? I'm kicking it around.

How you gonna prove it? Oh, I don't think evidence will be such a problem.

Ben, Ben, Ben.

What can I say about you that hasn't already been said? That I'm about to become a rich man.

Look, Ben, you got to take the rap for me here.

Now, you're a first-time offender.

Mom and Dad'll only make you pay for the window and I'll pay you back for that.

- That, plus $30.

- $30? Overhead.

- Ben, I don't have that kind of money.

- I'm sorry to hear that, Mike.

Hey, what's going on in there? Ben, you're my brother.

I love you.

Okay, Mike, I'm gonna cut you some slack here.

Because, after all, money isn't that important, is it, Mike? No.

No.

What's more important is what one human being can do for another human being.

Right, right.

That's why I'd like you to be my personal servant for the weekend.

What? You little What was that noise in Hey, who did this? Is that a skateboard? Okay, I'll do it.

Mom, Dad, I know this is unbelievable, but I was fooling around on Mike's skateboard, and the thing went flying.

- You did this, Ben? - Yeah.

And I'm really, really sorry.

Well, sorry just isn't good enough, Ben.

That's gonna come out of your allowance.

And if we ever catch you skateboarding in the house again you're gonna discover the true meaning of the word "sorry.

" Well, I'd better clean up that broken glass.

All right, little bro.

We handled that pretty well.

Freeze, sleaze.

- What? - I believe we had a little arrangement.

Wait a minute, Ben, you didn't take that little joke about the servant business seriously, did you? Oh, Mom.

I ought to pamper you silly.

I have my figures ready.

We're still way under budget.

Richie, you've got $0 down for entertainment.

I kind of figured we'd have home entertainment.

How do you think we got 11 children? Eleven children? I don't believe it.

I mean, first you buy me, and then you turn me into a baby machine.

I thought that's what we both wanted.

That's it.

I'll tell you what I want.

I want a separation.

We're dividing the budget into two separate households.

- What about the kids? - You keep the kids.

You'll be hearing from my attorney.

God, she's cute when she's angry.

Your sandwich.

Oh, dear.

What do I see here? Ben, it's just like you ordered, three parts peanut butter one part marshmallow, a dollop of cream cheese topped with one and a half raisins.

Yes, but I still see a speck of crust.

You know my feelings about crust.

Okay, I'll cut it off.

No, Michael, that just won't do.

In the state I'm in, I'll need an all-new another sandwich.

A new sandwich? I see salami and cheese, and a tangy French mustard.

- I ought to - Oh, Mom.

- Okay, okay.

- "Okay, okay," what? Okay, okay, Lord Ben.

- Mind if I sit here a second? - Sure, fine, sit.

- You know, I've been thinking - Sure, fine, think.

About that summer home on Squam Lake you know, maybe we should hold off putting down that deposit.

Sure, fine, hold off.

Because if we stay home this summer maybe we could add that new room onto the house.

Sure, fine, add a room.

I was thinking we'd need an addition because I might be having a baby.

Sure, fine, have a baby.

- A baby? - Now, I'm not sure yet.

The doctor has to call back at 2:00 with the test results.

A baby? Jason, I didn't tell you sooner because I knew you needed to concentrate on your article, but then I got so nervous waiting for the doctor's call Maggie, do you know what this means? It means we're having a baby.

- You mean you're glad? - Glad? Maggie, "glad" doesn't begin to describe how I feel.

I feel really glad! But Jason, I thought you didn't want to have another child.

Well, that was before I got to know him.

Oh, honey, it's so weird that this should happen now just when I started back to work.

I guess I'II Well, I guess I'll just have to quit my job to be a mommy.

No.

No, no.

Don't you see? It's different this time, Maggie.

I'm already home.

I'll be the mommy.

- I guess that rules out breastfeeding.

- No Yeah.

But I can do everything else.