Look, Jennifer, it's not that I don't want to go with you Saturday it's just that I've got this prior commitment.
I'm donating a kidney.
Look, but don't tell anybody.
Well, 'cause then everybody'll want one.
Look, if the deal falls through, I'll let you know.
Okay, all right, bye-bye.
You turned down a date with Jennifer Miller? Jennifer "Wonder Buns" Miller? Hey, my attraction to women is not entirely based on physical beauty.
Yeah, they gotta be stupid, too.
Mike, I thought you liked Jennifer.
Yeah, but she wants me to do something I'd never do in a million years.
What? Read a book? No, worse, she wants me to go to her sister's wedding and go ballroom dancing.
As God is our witness, they can't make our baby do this.
Okay, fine, fine.
You guys go ahead and laugh but Michael Seaver is not gonna make a fool of himself in front of 200 people.
Yeah, you're used to a much bigger crowd.
Mike, there are advantages to ballroom dancing.
You know, you actually get to touch your partner hand to hand, cheek to cheek everything else to everything else.
Oh, Jason! And if you're a real cool guy, and you learn all the moves, Mike well, the right guy and the right moves can absolutely make the right woman melt.
There are more moves, but they require a motel room.
Not so.
Observe.
The French dip.
There are more moves, but they require gravy.
Yeah, Jennifer, Mike.
Look, the deal fell through.
I don't know.
Apparently, there's a real glut on the world kidney market.
Yeah, so we're on for the wedding.
Yeah, and I'll bring the gravy.
Never mind, it's a dancing term.
Yeah, okay, bye-bye.
All right, Mike.
All right, Dad.
You know, I'm gonna make her melt.
I have never seen "Wonder Buns" melt before.
Wait a minute.
I don't even know how to dance.
That's all right, no problem.
Come on over here and give it a try.
Not with me, with your mother.
What you try to do is you try to - glide, two, three.
- Glide.
Glide.
That's it! I've had it.
A man can only take so much.
Something wrong, Ben? The new coach and his stupid son, Rodney.
The kid tripped me three times today with his stick.
Next practice, that kid is gonna be sucking the puck.
Now, I don't want to hear that, Ben.
If you have a problem with one of your teammates fighting is not the answer.
Ben, what are you doing? Pumping milk.
Hey, it worked for Schwarzenegger.
And one.
And two.
And three.
Now wait a minute.
Did you try telling the coach that Rodney tripped you? The coach saw the whole thing.
Now come on.
You mean to tell me that the coach actually told Rodney to play dirty? He tells all the kids to play dirty.
That's why he hates me.
It's common knowledge, I'm a finesse player.
Well, that's it, Ben.
I was afraid this hockey thing was going to be too rough.
Jason, I think he should quit the team.
No, Maggie, that's not fair to Ben.
Just because the coach is out of line, you can't make him quit.
I'll go down to the next practice I'll meet the guy, and we'll talk it all over if that's okay with you, Ben.
Yeah, thanks, Dad.
And while you keep the coach busy talking I'll go and skate over Rodney's face.
Come on, girls, this is hockey, not a square dance.
I want to see some contact out there.
Remember, just 'cause you're wearing skates doesn't mean you can't kick.
All right? Hello.
Hi, I'm Jason Seaver.
Coach Brockton.
How are you? That's my boy, Ben, out there, number seven.
Yeah, he could use another 40 pounds.
Well, no problem.
I'll get him started on steroids right away.
Good, I like to see the parents get involved.
Kelly! Kelly, you should've passed off.
That's gonna cost you.
Sure, make him skate a few extra laps after practice, huh? Do you have change for $5, Coach? What are you talking about, change? You missed the open man.
That is $5.
Take a lap.
You're fining these kids? Hey, that is not a first-time offender.
Too bad they outlawed the death penalty.
Yeah.
Carmello, you call that a check? My wife hit harder on our honeymoon.
Who'd you marry, Wayne Gretzky? You calling me a homosexual? No, but I do think your coaching methods are a little offensive.
Hey, I never had a losing season, buddy.
Well, congratulations, buddy but I think what's important for these kids is they learn something they have a little fun.
Not win, win, win, at all costs.
That's how we lost Vietnam.
You're a wimp, Seaver.
Oh, really? Well, you know what you are? Yeah? You're taking a lot of sublimated anger and you're displacing it on these kids.
You sound like you've been to one of them wussy shrinks.
I am one of them wussy shrinks.
I mean, I'm a psychiatrist.
Just because you're a little self-absorbed and narrow-minded Hey, who are you calling self-absorbent? You better be ready to back that up, pal! Keep your hands off me.
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