8. Blendin's Game (第2季)【完整台词】

Halt! I've got to hand it to this perp.

No one's broken out of the infinetentiary before.

He's either the bravest time-convict I've ever seen or the dumbest.

Ow! Ohh! My time-knee! Oh, time-dang it! - Definitely the dumbest.

- Freeze! You're surrounded by the time paradox avoidance enforcement squadron.

Anything you say can and already has been used against you in future court.

This is it, Blendin.

End of the timeline.

Any last words? Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh I-I-I-I I invoke Globnar! Globnar!!! Very well, speak the name and century of those accused.

The two kids that ruined my life, Dipper and Mabel Pines, So be it.

May time baby have mercy on their souls.

2x08 - "Blendin's Game" Candy! Candy! Candy! Candy.

- No! It's trapped! - Everything is terrible forever! Psst.

Hey, dudes.

You want to know a trick? Boppity-boop-womp! A genius taught me that once.

This just in.

Weather stations are calling for a candy blizzard! Forget taking off the wrappers.

I'm eating these now! Soos, you are the greatest human ever to live.

That was a mistake! Hey, no sweat, dude.

I'd do anything for the Pines family.

Soos! I need to scratch myself in two places at once.

And I mean anything.

Coming, Mr.

Pines! Whoa, better make sure he gets his wallet back.

Wait, I've never seen Soos's wallet before.

Don't you want to learn some Soos secrets? I don't know if we should be Whoa! Soos has a membership to Laser Tag? I didn't know they let grown-ups in there.

And look, emergency salami.

Soos, my respect for you has grown.

Jesus Alzamirano Ramirez, organ donor, birthday: July 13th.

Wait a minute.

That's today.

- Whoa.

- That's weird.

I wonder why he didn't tell anyone.

Uh, duh.

It's probably because he wants someone to throw him a surprise party.

I can relate.

I've been waiting for a surprise party my whole life.

Surprise! - Too little, too late, Chiu.

- Ohh.

More exclamation points! More, I say! Wow, you guys thought of everything.

- Grenda, twins are born birthday experts.

- We've shared every birthday together so we know how to make them perfect.

Hey, places, everyone.

I hear footsteps.

Everyone, be quiet! All right, you promised a giant hummingbird, so I'm expecting to see a giant hummingbird.

Three, two, one Huh? Surprise! Happy birthday, you king on Earth.

We got everything you love.

Cake-flavored pizza.

Pizza-flavored cake.

And one more treat.

Razzle dazzle, friends.

It's me, the Razz Dazzler.

This is what my life has become.

II Quick, everyone pose for the birthday smiles memory album.

razzly-dazzly-doo Soos, what's wrong? It's, uh, it's nothing.

I, uh I gotta go fix a pipe or something.

Whoa, did you guys see Soos? What happened to Oh, no.

Oh, no, no, no.

Okay, you guys didn't know, so it's not your fault, but Soos hates his birthday.

- What? - It's a total mystery.

I guess he's been like this since he was a kid.

Some weird personal biz.

There's gotta be something we can do.

- We've tried everything.

- I even petitioned the government to have this day removed from calendars.

Now I'm not allowed on airplanes.

I don't know, guys, maybe we should just leave him alone, you know? No one should be alone on their birthday.

There's got to be a way to cheer him up.

We just need to try harder.

You're right, Dipper! It's time for us to bring out the big guns.

All right, guys, blindfold me once, shame on you, blindfold me twice Wait a minute.

Hot dog smell? Sticky floors? Future sounds? Laser Tag? I love Laser Tag.

How did you guys know? Um.

We definitely didn't rifle through your wallet.

Welcome to the year 8,000.

Society? Collapsed.

Fog machines? Everywhere.

Are these walls just mattresses spray-painted purple? I think this place used to be a mattress store.

I don't know, guys, I'm not sure I'm up for this today.

Don't worry, Soos.

As soon as you start playing with us, you're gonna have a great time.

We promise, no matter what happens we won't leave your side.

Well, I guess, I could give it a shot.

Prepare for laser battle in three, two Uh-oh.

Better tie down these cowboys.

Whoa! This is even cooler than I imagined.

Look how real these laser guys are.

Kick deflected.

Thank you for buying Digicod, the smart codpiece.

- Wait, what? - Oh, no.

Soos! Mabel? Dipper? Dudes? Soos! Nice try, but that's solid timetanium, kid.

There's only one way out of here.

Through me! Oh, uh, sorry.

Come on.

Through me! And that's what it would have been like if I'd just gotten it right the very first chance, but it still is effective.

The time traveler guy! What did you say your name was again? Blendo? Blondin? - Blarblar.

- There it is.

It's Blendin! Blendin Blenjamin Blendin.

How could you not know my name after you ruined my life?! Initiate flashback! It was after you stole my time device to win your stupid pig.