Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in 'em.
Pass.
It's here! Oh, it's here! It's here! It's here! It's here! I've been waiting all morning and it's finally here! The Gravity Falls Gossiper accepted my article about summer fashion tips for squirrels.
My picture is gonna be in the newspaper! "Pacifica Northwest declares V-necks the look of the season.
" What am I looking at here? Wha-wha-what? Looks like someone bought their way to the front page.
Is it legal for a child to wear that much make-up? Ugh.
Pacifica.
She always ruins everything.
Aww, cheer up, Mabel.
I mean, no one even reads newspapers anymore.
Dudes! V-neck season is upon us! Who wants to help me get ahead of the fashion curve? I'm taking it one step further with the W-neck! Must.
Follow.
Newspaper.
I need something to get my mind off this.
Looking for a distraction from your horrible life? Why, yes! Victory.
Honor.
Destiny.
Mutton.
These old timey sounding words are alive and well at the Gravity Falls Royal Discount Putt Hutt! No mutton available at snack shop.
Hey, Mabel, you love mini-golf! She's been amazing at it since we were kids.
What do you say, Mabel? We've had a stressful couple of days.
How about we take a break, huh? Would kicking all our butts at mini-golf cheer you up? Maybe a little.
Come on, Mabel! Victory! Honor! Destiny! Mutton! Victory! Honor! Destiny! Mutton! Victory! Honor! Destiny! Mutton! And the pig can look after the house.
Ooh! Ah, Mini-Golf.
The sport of mini-champions.
The grass is fake but the fun is real.
There's something here for everyone.
Hey, you, stop! Come back here! Hey, those are lewd hand gestures! Focus, focus, and Don't worry, bro, you're still "ext-roar-dinary"! I'll take what I can get.
To the hip we go, and Wha-- How'd I get here? Yes! Holy smokes! Someone in our family actually has talent.
Grunkle Stan, you ain't seen nothin' yet! She's so good, yeah Lookin' to hit that ball She's got the skills Takin' it to the hole Guys, this is amazing.
If Mabel gets a hole-in-one here, she'll beat her all time high score! You can do it, Mabel.
Pretend the ball is Pacifica's face.
Aw, nuts! Ah, don't worry about it, kid.
The thing's random.
Yeah, besides the Bermuda's Triangle, how mini golf works is the world's greatest mystery.
As far as I'm concerned, you're still better than anyone else is Gravity-- Oh, would you look at that? I didn't know it was "hobos golf free" day.
Pacifica! Well, if it isn't the Pines family.
Fat, old, lame, braces.
Soos, would it be wrong to punch a child? I've got this.
Hey, Pacifica, how's that whole your-family-being-frauds thing working out for you? Great, actually.
That's the thing about money.
It makes problems go away.
Well, can't buy you skill.
You walked into the game of the mini golf champion.
Sergei! This is Sergei, my trainer.
The Sportlympics had mini golf once.
I took gold! So if you don't mind moving out of the way of the professionals Enjoy second place.
Give her a hand, folks! Oh, yeah? Well, I want a rematch, you-- you-- walking one dimensional bleached blonde valley girl stereotype! Like, let's do this.
Hear ye! Hear ye! Honk! Honk! Ow! Stop at once! The park is now closed due to weather.
The King of Mini Golf has spoken.
Oh, the King is down! This isn't over.
You.
Me.
Midnight.
We'll see who's best.
I'll be here.
I'll be here.
Peh, peh! Hair in my mouth.
Peh! Time to scratch mini golf off my talents list.
Aww, don't give up, Mabel.
Yeah, if you beat her at this, she could never rag on you again.
Imagine it.
Um, the section for ugly grandma clothes is over there.
Oh, yeah? Well, the section for people who lost at mini golf is over there! We came as fast as we could.
We heard a little girl got seriously burned! Oh! I'm ruined! Up top! Yay! You're right, guys.
I just need to practice a little more before midnight.
Go to the golf course after dark, you say? I don't know.
We'd have to break in and-- Just kidding! Let's break in! Oh, and, hey, Mabel! Knock her dead, kid.
Darn! Poo-peck-darn! Ugh! I don't get it! What is wrong with this hole? Did you hear that? What? What is it? Grab your club.
We good? We good? Hi! Hello! I'm Franz.
And welcome to our home.
What is this? Yeah.
Are you guys tiny humans? Or enormous mini-humans? Neither.
We're lilli-putt-tians! Lilli-- Lilli-putt The name makes more sense written out than spoken.
And we control the balls! Behold! Wow! That's incredible! And so needlessly complicated.
Aw, shucks.
It's only our life-long passion! Would you like us to elaborate through song? Nah, we're good.
So what are you hugelings doing here anyway? We kind of have to play this golf tournament against my rival, Pacifica.
Oh, rivals.
Rivals, rivals.
Oh, we know all about rivals.
Put a clog in it, ya windmill lubbers! These really bottom popinjays are terrible at controlling the balls! We are the ball masters, says I! Shut your mouths, you showboating pirates! Everyone knows the Eiffel Tower hole is the best! Stay thee your comments, ye scurrilous Frenchmen! None controllable is better than the knights of Wiener castle.
Who wrote this? We'll settle which hole is best! Attack! Charge! Ooh, I'm shiverin' in me timbers.
Get ready to die! Long live the mini king! Die, you evil scum! Ow! Yarr! These guys are a riot.
Guys, guys, calm down.
Your fighting is inadvertently adorable.
Adorable we are, hugeling, but our tale, less so.
Every hole in the park thinks that it's superior.
From the cowboys in the east to the grimy minors of the south.
If only there was some way to decide which side is best with maybe an award or, like a trophy.
I don't know.
But, Franz, look! The sticker.
The sticker could decide! It does say "the best" on it.
Decide for us, hugeling.
Choose which mini kingdom to give the sticker to and end our war! Uh, I don't know, guys.
I'm not sure I want to get involved in your weird mini blood feud.
Psst! Mabel, this is perfect.
These guys control the course.
Just tell them you'll give the sticker to whichever group does a better job of helping us win.
I'm not sure, Dipper.
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