Ooh, he's so adorable.
It makes me want to have another No! Family photo taken.
Oh.
Okay, guys, listen up.
If you could describe me in one word, what would it be? Just say the first thing that comes to your mind.
- Go.
- Spirited.
- Annoying.
- Pushy.
Sausage.
Dad, what does that mean? That I want more sausa what are we talking about? What's with all the questions? Oh, it's for my college applications.
I'm working on the most important part of all The personal essay.
So I have to write it based on one of these topics.
A single page.
It could determine my entire future.
essence of Teddy Duncan.
- Long-winded.
- Boring.
Sausage.
Well, I still haven't got my sausage.
Okay, topic number two.
Who is the most influential person in your life? Hello? Mom, why are you doing that? Oh, I'm sorry, would you prefer ta-da or, ding, ding, ding, or you're looking at her? How about not gonna happen? Today's all burnt toast running late and dad jokes.
"Has anybody seen my left shoe?" I close my eyes, take a bite grab a ride, laugh out loud.
There it is up on the roof.
I've been there, I survived.
So just take my advice.
Hang in there, baby things are crazy.
But I know your future's bright.
Hang in there, baby, there's no maybe.
Everything turns out all right.
Sure life is up and down.
But trust me, it comes back around.
You're gonna love who you turn out to be.
Hang in there, baby.
Hey, guys, check this out.
A.
V.
M.
is coming to Colorado.
Hey, that's great, dad.
What's A.
V.
M.
? Teddy, how many times have we talked about this? No follow-up questions.
A.
V.
M.
stands for animal, vegetable, mineral One of the greatest bands of the '80s.
They were a little bit punk, a little bit metal, a little bit glam.
I'm a little bit bored.
And I scored two tickets.
So who wants to come with me? Oh dad, I'd love to, but I have to work on my College Essay.
Oh yeah, and you know I probably should start mine too, it's only four years away.
You know what? You guys have no idea what you're missing.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, PJ.
Oh, hey, dad's in the kitchen.
If PJ wants to go into the kitchen, let him go into the kitchen.
Mm.
- I feel so dirty.
- It gets easier.
Really? - Are you Gabe Duncan? - That depends.
Who are you? My name's Devon.
Are you gonna serve me with papers? No.
I go to your old school, Lincoln Elementary.
It's an honor to meet you, Sir.
Your pranks are legendary.
- It's Devon, you say? - That's right.
Come on in, Devon.
I can't believe it's really you.
You know people still talk about the great toilet paper caper.
Uh-huh, one of my proudest moments.
You know I made the Principal cry.
You can't put a price on that.
I'm here because I need your help.
I want to prank one of my teachers.
Oh, sorry, kid.
My pranking days are over.
But hey, thanks for the trip down memory lane.
Too bad.
I was really hoping to get Mr.
Singer.
Singer.
Mr.
Singer.
I thought I'd never have to hear that name again.
- You know him? - He was the meanest teacher I ever had.
I created The Duncan Dunk just for him.
The Duncan Dunk? It really does exist? I thought it was just a myth.
I dropped a bucket of glop on him so foul smelling His wife made him live in the garage for a month.
But he paid me back.
He made the rest of my 4th grade year a living nightmare.
He's doing the same thing to me.
I want to get him.
I want to get him bad.
I like your spirit, kid.
But are you prepared to do what it takes? The hard work? The meticulous preparation? The tireless training? What do you mean? We're gonna need about an hour.
Come back tomorrow after school.
All right.
I'll be here.
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