Oh, hey.
You guys wanna hear a joke? All: No! Why not? Because they're never good.
Dad, your mouth is where jokes go to die.
I can be funny.
It's funny watching you try to tell a joke.
See, now that's funny.
Honey, why don't you just wait and tell your joke at lunch? But I have lunch at work.
Uh-huh.
You know what? You guys are gonna like this one.
So, guy walks into a store with a frog on a leash No no no! Sorry.
Frog's on his head.
So anyway, the frog says (Sighs) Ah, you shouldn't know the frog talks yet.
So, let's just forget I said that, okay? The store owner says And it doesn't have to be the store owner, could just be a guy who works there.
(All groan) - Okay okay.
- Or a girl, whatever.
You know what, guys? In the interest of time, let's just laugh now and get it over with.
- Okay.
Go.
- (All laugh loudly) Ohh! - Good one, dad.
- No no, wait.
Wait a minute.
I'm not done yet.
- No, but we are.
- Yeah.
Well, you wanna hear the joke, right, Charlie? Sure, daddy.
Okay, so Guy walks into a store with a frog (groans) Wait a minute.
It's not a frog.
It's a parrot.
(Laughs) Parrots are funny.
(Laughing) Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
But there's more to the joke.
It doesn't end on "parrot.
" (Giggles) You said it again.
(Rock music playing) Today's all burnt toast running late and dad jokes "has anybody seen my left shoe?" I close my eyes, take a bite grab a ride, laugh out loud there it is up on the roof I've been there, I survived so just take my advice hang in there, baby things are crazy but I know your future's bright hang in there, baby there's no maybe everything turns out all right sure life is up and down but trust me, it comes back around you're gonna love who you turn out to be hang in there, baby.
(squeals) It's here, it's here! What is? The email from Yale.
I'm about to find out if I got in.
Open it! What are you waiting for? I can't.
I'm too nervous.
Yale is my dream school.
The next ten seconds are gonna decide the course of my entire life.
Okay.
Easy now, honey.
Nobody likes a drama queen.
What are you looking at me for? Okay.
Dad, here, you read it.
I'll be able to tell by your expression.
(Deeply exhales) (Key clicks) Uh-oh.
I didn't get in? No, I sent it to trash.
Hey, how do I get this back? "Empty trash.
" No! Gosh.
I'll do it.
(Sighing) Okay.
Here goes.
(Key clicks) Huh.
I'm on the wait list.
Well, that's good.
You still have a chance to get in.
You just have to wait for a spot to open up.
Well, yeah, but what are the odds of that? Honey, look, it's out of your hands.
Okay, so until you hear otherwise, you just have to do what I do.
Just relax and go with the flow.
You're looking at me again.
What is that? Which I bought with my graduation money from grandpa.
- You didn't graduate.
- Grandpa doesn't know that.
Gabe, we talked about this.
I specifically said you could not get one of these things.
You said I couldn't have a dirt bike.
This is an electric scooter.
It's what kids with dirt bikes make fun of.
Well, whatever it is, it doesn't look very safe.
Listen, before you decide anything, how about you just take it for a spin? Then you can see how tame it is.
Whoo-hoo! Aww, yeah! Fun, huh? So can I keep it? Don't know.
Not done testing it yet.
Whoo-hoo! Aw, yeah! Okay, Charlie, let's go.
Hello, Mr.
Duncan.
Hello, teacher lily.
I wanted to show you something Charlie wrote about you.
- It's on the "mommy daddy" wall.
- (Bob sighs) Let me apologize in advance.
No.
It's good this time.
Here's Charlie's.
"My daddy tells funny jokes.
" well, at least somebody appreciates me.
Thank you, Charlie.
You're welcome, daddy.
Since you're coming in for circle time tomorrow anyway, how about telling the kids a couple of jokes? Oh, I (Exhales) (Stammering) I don't know.
Sometimes I get a little rattled.
Mr.
Duncan, they're four-year-olds.
You're not hosting the oscars.
Please, daddy.
Um Well, I guess I could tell a few jokes.
I mean, how hard could that be? Tell the one about the parrot.
It's so funny.
Oh, hey, Victor, if you're not busy tomorrow night and, uh, I'm assuming you're not Hey! Oh.
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