Guys.
What are you doing Saturday night? Your mom really needs a night out.
You want us to take mom out? Isn't that kind of your job? I need you guys to babysit so that we can go out to dinner with the Wentzes.
We're going to Mondello's.
Oh.
Isn't that place like super expensive? I don't care.
Your mother deserves the best.
You got a coupon, huh? Yes, Sir.
I do.
Hey.
Bob, honey, the Wentzes just called and canceled.
They said they have to go to Nebraska for some family emergency.
Oh, really? All right.
Well, I'll tell the boys they don't have to babysit.
No no no no no no no no.
I need a night out so bad, I'm willing to spend it just with you.
And the love affair continues.
[Rock music playing] Today's all burnt toast running late and dad jokes.
"Has anybody seen my left shoe?" I close my eyes, take a bite grab a ride, laugh out loud.
There it is up on the roof.
I've been there, I survived.
So just take my advice.
Hang in there, baby things are crazy.
But I know your future's bright.
Hang in there, baby, there's no maybe.
Everything turns out all right.
Sure life is up and down.
But trust me, it comes back around.
You're gonna love who you turn out to be.
Hang in there, baby.
[Doorbell rings] - Hi, Teddy.
- Hi, Beau.
Uh, what are you doing here? Oh, me and your dad have a new plan.
We're carpooling.
Really? Because he just left to pick you up.
Well, I didn't say it was a good plan.
Listen, while I'm here I wanted to ask you something.
- Do you have any plans Saturday night? - [Sighs] Beau, that's really sweet.
But just I have some unresolved feelings with my old boyfriend, so I'm not really into dating right now.
I wasn't asking you out on a date.
I should have let you finish.
Why don't you do that now? See, there's this girl, Katie.
She invited me out and I want to go.
But I don't want her to think it's a date.
So I thought if I brought a friend, she'd get the message.
Mm.
So you're asking me out on a date that's not really a date so that you'll look like you're not on a date.
Exactly.
And I'm asking you because I don't know anyone else who's willing to not date me.
Well, I guess as long as I'm not not dating anyone.
So it's a not date? Why not? Okay, guys.
We're leaving.
- Hey, mom.
You look great.
- Oh, thanks, honey.
Dad.
Look how good mom looks.
Oh.
I think your father looks very handsome.
Thank you, honey.
And I'm very much looking forward to a wonderful night out.
Oh, by the way.
We're taking the bug truck.
I can write off the mileage.
Bob: I'll be right there.
Gentlemen, tonight I want nothing to go wrong.
When I come back, I want to see every baby, every babysitter, and everything in the house just the way it is now.
- You got that, PJ? - Dad, relax.
Everything is under control.
I know.
But you say that every time.
Well, one of these times it's bound to come true.
All right.
That's good enough to get me out of the house.
- Bye.
- Uh-huh.
Okay.
Listen up.
Tonight I am Captain of the ship.
And I say there will be no running, no mess, no horseplay of any kind.
Boring.
Yeah.
Why are you being so strict? I mean, you're worse than mom and her stupid no fireworks in the basement rule.
I'll tell you why.
Because I'm tired of everyone always thinking I'm the irresponsible one.
All right? That ends tonight.
[Squishes] - Uh-oh.
- What? Either I just wet myself, or I sat on Charlie's juice box.
I'm not sure what to root for here.
[Gasps] Oh no! It's mom's new couch.
Well, you had a good Welcome to Boots N Saddles.
I've never been to a Country-Western place before.
Sit down.
You're gonna love it.
So - Where's Katie? - She should be here any minute.
Howdy, partners.
I'm Donald, your server.
Can I get you something from the watering hole? Donald, it doesn't really sound like your heart's really into this Country-Western thing.
My dream was to work in the yogurt business, but you gotta know someone to get in.
Um I'll have a lemonade.
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