Just move out.
It just doesn't feel right.
What? Why would you say that?
(GHOSTS ALL TALK AT ONCE)
It's hard to put my finger on.
All right.
Just one thing at a time, yeah?
We'll talk about this later.
Ooh!
Electric windows!
- Get out of here!
- OK, OK!
(GHOSTS ALL SHOUT AT ONCE)
I say.
Well, fascinating.
But you don't see them now, do you?
Not since we left the house.
- Maybe I'm on the mend!
- Mmm.
Yes, I know how loans work.
- Sort of.
- As I've said before, sir
But surely if we just give you
the money back, then
- we cannot end the agreement now.
- Yes.
- Do you see?
- Yes, I see.
- Do you think it was related to the accident?
- Oh, yes, undoubtedly.
Oh, good.
So it should just stop happening, as I heal?
Well, my diagnosis,
based on what you've told me,
is that your accident left you
so close to death yourself,
you're now able to see dead people.
- What do you mean?
- Well, can you see me?
- Yes.
- Exactly.
I'm dead.
So sorry to have kept you.
Oh, she's very good.
Ohh!
What can I do for you?
- All right, listen to what I'm
- (ALISON SCREAMS) Wait.
- ALISON: The doctor's dead!
I just
I don't understand.
If it's come
back, why not accept the sedatives?
- I mean, they might help with
- Because
back at the house
I see the same faces every day.
But at the hospital,
completely different ones.
Different places, different faces.
- Why would my brain do that?
- OK, that is
It wouldn't.
Because they're not in here.
They're out there.
(GHOSTS ALL TALK AT ONCE)
Right, we're selling up.
We'll buy a little new-build.
One of those soulless little boxes
that I've always hated.
One bed's fine.
Just somewhere with
absolutely no past whatsoever.
Right.
Yeah.
It's just
OK, well
- I don't want you to get mad.
- Am I going to get mad?
Yes.
I spoke to the loan people and,
with the prepayment penalties and
Well, long story short, getting out now
would probably bankrupt us.
And I only added "probably"
to make it sound better.
Didn't you read the contracts?!
I gave them what I'd call a lengthy skim.
Oh, Mike, I could kill you!
Ooh!
Good idea!
Though maybe not here,
just because he might
(GHOSTS ALL TALK AT ONCE)
Right!
Well, there's only one thing for it,
isn't there?
Fine!
I see you! OK?!
I see Major-General Can't-Sing,
I see Captain Cave-Prick, I see all of you!
OK? You win!
Mission accomplished!
I admit your existence.
Now what the hell do you want?!
- We want you out of this house!
- Yes, you do not belong here!
Well, that's tough, isn't it?
Because thanks to my resident
mortgage advisor, we're stuck here!
- OK, you're officially freaking me out.
- So how about you leave?
- We can't leave.
- You sort of just stays where you dies.
And how you dies
Died!
It's your classic haunted house.
- Er, Alison
- Whoa.
Right.
So I can't go and you can't go.
So
what will it take to get you all
just out of my face, huh?
What do you want?
What do you actually want?!
Specifically!
You?
Right!
I'll tell you what we want.
We demand that
One hour a week of the thing about tanks
and anything on superweapons, please?
Thank you.
- Done! Next.
- It feels like I should call someone?
Who you gonna call?!
You, Sourpuss.
Remove my husband's portrait,
and fill the hole in my wall!
- Done.
You?
- Divorce him, kill yourself, marry me.
- No.
- To which bit?
- You?
- I just wanted to say hello!!
- Hello!
- Oh, hello.
And on behalf of myself
and my fellow ghosts
Listen.
I want those slanderous beggars at Goggle
to amend my entry for the next edition.
I am a respectable
It doesn't work like that, it's the internet.
Right.
And where are they based?
It's everywhere.
In every house in
the country, in the world.
You mean every person on the planet
just thinks of me as the weirdo MP
who died in some sex scandal?
- That was you?!
- What? No!
I don't want anything, actually.
Who's next?
Renounce Satan, witch!
Um OK!
Yeah, yeah, that's probably done it.
And what about you, Budget Tarzan?
What do you want?
- Oh, nuffin', thanks.
- Nothing?
So you just spent
So you just spent the last three days
hiding in every little tiny little
dark corner in this entire house,
scaring me out of my mind,
for no reason?!
Well, it was something to do.
My turn!
I think we've got a lot in common.
OK, so I've just googled "psychotic break"
and I'm not saying that this is one,
but there is an article
that I think you should have a
Mike, this isn't
Can you just come with me?
All of you!
- Where are you going?
- To shut you all up.
Horsey to go dooka-dakka-deeko.
Dooka-dakka-deeko.
OK, you go.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Even more softly.
When's our sleepover again?
- Eighth of March.
- And what is it now?
- June.
- Oh! So exciting!
How long's this on for?
I need to contact this Vicky Pedia.
Shh! Shh!
(DOCUMENTARY PLAYS)
Er, well played.
Perhaps there is some Button blood
in those veins after all.
Yeah.
Well, I'm not sure I buy all this,
but I've moved the painting.
And bricked up the hole?
Yeah, I filled the hole.
(HUMS CHEERILY)
Argh!
Oh, this will NOT stand!
Well, you seem happier.
The good news is I'm not mad.
That's a relief.
What's the bad news?
(GHOSTS ALL SHOUT AT ONCE)
They are.
(TAPPING)
- Alison!
- Turn the right-hand dial horizontal.
And press the ignition.
Hey!
OK.
I believe you.
And, er
- thank you?
- They say you're welcome.
"They"?
You mean there's two of them?!
Yes.
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