6. FZZT (第1季)【完整台词】

Justin: Thing is, no one exactly knows What happened to the crying man that summer.

Some say that he drowned in the Lake, But others say that they've seen his ghost, Wandering these woods, in search for his lost sister.

Actually, they say if you're quiet and listen real hard You can still hear him crying.

[ wails weakly ] [ laughter ] Mr.

Cross, that was, like, the worst crying man ever.

Really? I thought it was pretty good.

You guys think we're kidding.

Just remember to stick close to the campfire tonight, okay? Hey, guys.

Do you hear that? Hear what? That humming sound.

Stay here.

I'm gonna take a look around the campground.

What humming? W-where's Mr.

Cross going? He's just trying to scare us.

[ chuckling ] So lame.

[ hands clap ] Come on, guys.

Grab a s'more.

Well, that's for you.

Ooh, I want the marsh-- ooh, marshmallows! Now, I know-- Tommy, I know you like chocolates.

Here.

Don't hog the marshmallows, okay? Mm-hmm.

[ electricity crackles ] [ Cross screams ] Everyone to the truck now! [ wind rushing ] Go, go! Go! [ electricity pulses ] [ screams ] [ all screaming ] [ panting ] Mr.

Cross? Mr.

Cross! [ insects chirping ] Come on, guys.

Let's go look for him.

Boy: Whoa.

Is he nuts? Stay close.

Mr.

Cross, are you okay? Mr.

Cross! [ electricity humming ] [ screaming ] Ohh! [ engines roaring ] Working up a good sweat there, sir? I don't sweat.

I glisten.

Blood pressure, heart rate, biochems-- all normal.

All that's left is the blood sample.

[ treadmill beeps ] You should know-- I'm not a fan of getting poked.

Tell me, sir-- Have you been feeling under the weather lately? Why? I just noticed from your chart That you're not due for a general physical For another three months.

I made a mistake-- took a call from my physical therapist.

Asked how I was feeling.

I said, "a little Rusty.

" Next thing you know, I'm wired to this hamster wheel.

Well, you can officially tell your physical therapist That you're fit as the proverbial fiddle, Especially for a man of your age.

A man of my age? That's something you say to an old person.

Is it? [ chuckles ] Well, let's get you some electrolytes, shall we? Huh.

Sorry, Fitz.

It's close, but it's just not right.

Really? 'cause Agent Coulson had no problems.

It's an ounce too heavy.

An ounce? Seriously? It's the difference between success and failure.

When you're on a rooftop with a 15-mile-an-hour wind, Your target is 500 yards away-- Yeah, but we do have a rifle.

Lose the ounce.

Yeah, okay.

On it.

"lose the ounce.

" [ as Ward ] I'm Agent Grant Ward, And I can shoot the legs off a flea from 500 yards, As long as it's not windy.

[ laughs ] [ laughs ] [ normal voice ] Hey.

That's a sound I haven't heard in a bit.

Yeah, well, you wouldn't be laughing a whole lot If you were living in Ward's doghouse.

You made the rounds, apologized to us all.

What more can he ask? I don't know.

Mm.

I have been busting my ass, Memorizing every S.

H.

I.

E.

L.

D.

Protocol manual, Following every order.

"yes, sir.

" "no, sir.

" I even let them tag me like a stray dog.

I mean, I know I lied to you guys, But I was trying to protect my boyfriend.

You know, we all make mistakes.

And who ca-- I don't care-- Who cares about your ex-boyfriend? It's not like I'm comparing Ward to miles, But at least with miles, I didn't have to worry about passive-aggressive stuff.

There was no mind games.

Mm.

- We spoke the same language, you know? - Yeah.

Yeah, a bit like we do.

Totally.

You and Simmons are so tight, It's like you're psychically linked.

No, you-- no.

Actually, no.

I don't think so.

So, Ward was here? Let me guess-- the night-night pistol again? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, and he said it was off by an ounce.

[ scoffs ] Of course he did.

[ as Ward ] I'm Agent Grant Ward, And I could rupture your spleen with my left pinky-- Blindfolded! [ laughs ] That is dead on.

Hey.

Hustle up and grab your gear.

We're on a mission.

Something funny? [ normal voice ] Poor, silly Fitz.

He mistakenly left a dummy round in the pistol.

Should be proper now.

Great.

Thanks.

[ stifled laughter ] Coulson: Troop leader's name was Adam Cross.

Apparently, he said he heard something in the woods, Went to check it out.

That's where the electrostatic anomaly occurred.

What I don't understand is, usually, They're caused by a massive electrical storm But there wasn't a storm Within a thousand miles of here last night.

This anomaly's different-- It has a side effect we've never seen before.

The battery blew straight up through the hood.

Ward: Landed over here.

Hell of a force to create that kind of trajectory.