Silence, puny audience! And welcome to Who Dares To Be A Millionaire? Tremble before Morbo's mighty likability, as I chitchat with our first contestant, Philip J.
Fry.
Give him hell, Morbo! Prepare for pleasantries! So, Fry, what do you do for a living? Me? Can I phone a friend? Chitchat achieved! Are you ready to play? I didn't come to play, I came to win.
Now let's play.
For $1, what tool is used to hammer a nail? Is it, A, a hammer? B, a nail? - C - B, Nail! Final answer! Sweet dodo of Lesotho! Don't you ever stop to think before you speak? I never stop to think about it.
Leave Fry alone.
His intelligence is just a little differenty.
You a big dummy! Hey, I'm beginning to think you guys don't think I'm very smart.
You can barely remember your own name, Einstein.
Einstein is a hard name to remember.
Ow! Smeesh, Professor.
Don't have a shmaneurysm.
Fry's your distant relative.
Not distant enough.
I'll be a monkey's uncle if I'm this monkey's nephew.
But you're my only family.
Who will hug me if I achieve something? Oh, perhaps I've been too harsh.
Come, lad, take my hand and I'll explain why I find you so repugnant.
All my life, I've been inspired by great minds.
Euclid, Copernicus, Braino.
And my personal role model, Leonardo da Vinci.
What turned them to stone? Da Vinci was history's greatest artist and inventor.
Voila! He invented flying machines, war engines, submarines.
Uh-oh.
Nibbler died in the wall.
That's not Nibbler.
That's my most precious possession.
Leonardo's beard! I paid a fortune for it at an auction of historic body parts.
I suppose if I have an Achilles' heel, it's because I bought it at that same auction.
Indeed so.
Most indeededly.
Careful with that, you fool! No! No! But possibly yes.
What is it, Professor? Oh, my! It's da Vinci's fabled lost invention.
Even the scholars who wrote of this device had no idea what it was for.
And now, at last, neither do I! Maybe we can figure it out.
We? Well, I may not have brain smarts, but at least I have street smarts.
I was in the hospital two weeks.
No one visited me.
Quiet, you! I'm trying to deduce the function of da Vinci's lost invention.
Not even a card.
He might have hidden a clue in one of his other works.
Ergo, I sent Bender out for a copy of The Last Supper.
I'm back! Everybody at Kinko's was an idiot, so I just brought the original.
Jesus Christ, and his 12 Apostles.
That's odd.
This hand here doesn't belong to anybody.
And it's pointing a knife at James the Lesser! That's the great thing about that hand.
And what about these funky table legs? It's like they're from some other, funkier painting.
Maybe da Vinci painted over something else.
It's called a pentimento.
That's true, Dr.
Zoidberg.
How did you know that? My doctorate is in art history.
Let's see what's under The Last Supper.
Wait a second! I'm not big-boned, I'm just fat.
My God! Look! My God! I'm looking! My God! Saint James was a robot! My God! Da Vinci left his legs unpainted as a clue.
My God! This is the greatest mystery of all time.
We must fly to Rome and exhume the body of Saint James.
- Didn't we used to be a delivery company? - To the ship.
Psst.
Leela, wanna join the mile-deep club? Sure, why not? No time! I've found a clue that could unlock all the secrets of history.
Look at these Roman numerals.
Roman numerals? I've got it! We're in Rome! Don't be stupid.
It's a long-Iost mathematical code.
I'll need to consult these ancient writings.
Some preposterous hogwash about the Fibonacci sequence Aha! The markings indicate how many paces we need to take.
One Okay, we're there.
Brothers and sisters, let us pry.
It's true! Saint James really was a robot.
I bet he's up in robot heaven right now.
So he won't miss his eyes.
My God! Robot Saint James is a zombie.
Nay, I am not Saint James.
Enough of your lies, Saint James.
We saw you in The Last Supper.
The great man Leonardo built me as an artist's model.
When I took repose in this coffin, I carefully tossed the real Saint James in yonder heap.
I'm sure you have many questions.
Come, there is a chamber where I used to speak with Pope John the Patient.
I told him I'd be back in five minutes.
Well, he'll make a nice heap.
I am Animatronio, guardian of da Vinci's great secret.
He left my legs visible in the painting as a clue, then dispatched me hither to await his shadow society of intellectuals.
Hi, Animatronio.
You personally knew da Vinci? Was he nice? How did his hair smell? And on a personal note, what is the function of this device? Halt! You know not the function of the machina magnifica? Then thou art not members of the shadow society! The what now? Not one more word shall I breathe.
Not even about the great fountain where thou mayest find the Wait Thou didst not know about the fountain, didst thou? Curses! I must be punished.
Quick, we must find out what he knows before he flays himself to death! - Where is the great fountain? - What makes it so great? Why does a robot need a codpiece? Fie, thou fen-suckled bum-bailey! Thou willst never pry information from these mechanical lips! Just tell us, already.
Okay, the fountain thou seekest is And so dies our hope of solving this mystery.
Come on, gang.
Let's go home.
Wait! Let's not give up so easily.
Animatronio mentioned a fountain.
That's a statue of Neptune, god of water.
The number of points on his trident is three, or trey.
The "U" in his name is written like "V.
" Trey, "V.
" Trevi! It's the Trevi fountain! - There can be no question! - But, Professor There can be no question! Wow, it hasn't changed in 1,000 years.
Okay, everyone, into the fountain.
What are you, senile? I'm not jumping in there.
Hey, look.
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