And now, The Transcredible Exploits of Zapp Brannigan, brought to you by Bartley's Rocket Wax.
I wax my rocket every day! No one can save you now, Leela.
What about Zapp Brannigan? Well, obviously, Zapp Brannigan could save you Zapp Brannigan! So, Emperor Chop Chop, once again, we meet at last.
Drop that space gun or I'll shoot, like so.
Oh, Zapp, tie me back up and ravish me.
I'd like to, Leela.
So, I will.
Shake it, baby.
Shake it like I surrender and volunteer for treason.
Emergency summons from the president, Captain.
Oh, it's you.
Just let me freshen up.
Computer, Captain's musk.
The long, dramatic corridor.
That's never a good sign.
Glove recognized.
Proceed, Mrs.
Eisenhower.
Mr.
President.
What the hell? At ease, Brannigan.
What you're about to see is highly classified.
Reptilicus, hit the thingy.
At 0000 hours, Planet X-3 was attacked by a mysterious death sphere.
Magnify that death sphere.
Why is it still blurry? That's all the resolution we have.
Making it bigger doesn't make it clearer.
It does on CSI: Miami.
They fought back with advanced military hardware, but it was like shooting BBs at Bebe Rebozo.
That poor, brave hardware.
The sphere then fired some kind of hellish blackout ray.
It erased that planet like Oh, I just wish I understood why.
Why I should care? Because the death sphere is now on course for Earth! My God, we're defenseless, like fish in a barrel.
Options? My instinct is to hide in this barrel, like the wily fish.
Then we're down to our last hope, a radical new weapon built by a visionary scientist I once dismissed as crazy! Let's see how crazy I am now, Nixon.
The correct answer is "very.
" All right, Professor, sock it to me! Top-secret news, everyone.
I've developed a tiny, one-man stealth fighter that's virtually undetectable.
How undetectable? It's right in front of you.
I find that to believe.
But how exactly is this Happy Meal toy going to destroy a giant death sphere? From within.
This ship should be able to sneak, undetected, through the sphere's one vulnerable opening.
What vulnerable opening? All death spheres have one vulnerable opening.
Well, sure, but who's brave enough to fly into something we all keep calling a death sphere? - I say Brannigan.
- I say no.
- I say me.
- I say Leela! - I say yes.
- I say no.
- I say Leela, too.
- I say yes again.
I say I shall join her.
But it's only a one-man craft, I say.
There'll only be one man.
Me.
How would you feel if I rode rear as your personal tail gunner? - Creeped out.
- Then it's decided! Are you sure I have to sit in your lap? It'll help us achieve maximum thrust.
- Ugh! - Ugh! I made you some trail mix for the flight.
Also, this picture, to remember me.
You hold on to it.
I'll be back soon.
Activating stealth shielding.
- Liftoff! - I'll roger that.
Does anybody else feel aroused and jealous and worried? I haven't felt much of anything since my guinea pig died.
Death sphere in range.
Engaging holographic targeting.
Activating the force.
Feel the entrance, Leela.
Destination on your left in 0.
3 miles.
Zapp to Leela.
Look at all that surveillance equipment.
- We better whisper.
- Switching to pillow talk mode.
Look! What are those huge letters? V- GINY? Doesn't ring a bell.
Hmm.
I don't like the looks of this V-GINY.
Does anyone recognize those call letters? Nope.
It's not in the Janeway's guide, either.
Deciphering that ID code is critical.
I'll be in the chamber of understanding.
This is it, the moment we should have trained for.
Holy - Incoming yucky.
- Firing pocket-rocket! Don't panic, Leela.
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! I hope this is the control stick.
Captain's log.
We've lost control.
Addendum.
Whoa! And now, back to The Transcredible Exploits of Zapp Brannigan.
Chapter Two.
The heat thickens.
Leela, wake up.
I can't face this mysterious planet alone without you or someone like you.
Zapp? Zapp, wake up.
Leela, where are we? We crashed on an uncharted planet.
When I woke up, I was pinned under this tree.
- Can you help me? - If anyone can move it, I can.
No one can move it.
Are you hurt? No, but I'm so thirsty.
This space suit is making me sweat like a sow.
Me, too.
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