Kif Gets Knocked Up a Notch Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Whoa! Ow! Schman! The great rad spot is mega-sweet for party boarding.
- Indeed.
- Any calls while I was out? Yeah.
You got a telesonic transmission from Kif a couple hours ago.
My Kify called? - Kif? - oh, Amy, you're back.
Another hour and I would've thought of hanging up.
Why didn't you leave a message, sweetie? I've left hundreds of messages with your answering machine - but you never seem to get them.
- Bender! It's not my fault if you don't check me.
Messages erased.
oh, dearest, this long-distance relationship is too much to bear.
When even an inch separates us, I quiver with misery.
So you can imagine how I feel when it's a billion light years.
Kif, don't cry, or you'll get a tummy ache.
Lieutenant, some things came off me and clogged the drain, so if you can- oh-ho.
What's this? Well, well, well.
Do my eyes believe me, or is that my bosomy swan, Leela? Say again? You're breaking up.
Oh Good news, everyone.
You'll be delivering pain medicine to the hive mind of NigeI 7.
Scruffy's rolling out a large pill.
You're going to NigeI 7? Kif's on patroI near there.
- You could drop me off on the way.
- We could, but we won't! It's a spaceship, damn it, not a prom limousine! Ooh! If anyone needs me, I'll be in the angry dome.
This is a very long trip.
So we'll all have to go into hibernative naptosis to save oxygen.
I don't even breathe oxygen.
Here I come, Kif.
They jumped right out of their pants.
Oh, what now? Activate glass window.
Kif, I'm sensing a very sensuaI disturbance in the Force.
- Prepare for ship-to-ship intimacy.
- Yes, sir, captain.
How about I help you finish that dream you were having about me? Okay.
I was just at this part: Let's try that a little lower and lots softer.
Imagine you stowing away and stealing a licensed starship.
Oh, it's so romantic it gives me the shivers.
I don't care how much trouble I get in.
I needed to feeI my lips pressed against your lip-less beak.
Oh, Amy, I can't stand having a whole universe between us.
I've been thinking a lot about this, and- Well, would you move in with me? Here? But, wouldn't it be crowded? Oh, no, no.
It's really twice the size.
You can use the floor and I'll have the ceiling.
See? Kif, you have so much creativity and niceness.
- But I'm not sure if I- - Hush.
Before you answer, come thither.
This is the Holo-Shed.
It can simulate anything you desire.
And nothing can hurt you, except when it malfunctions and the holograms become reaI.
Well, that probably won't happen this time.
I wanted to show you what life could be like if we were together.
Computer, run program Kif One.
This is so beautifuI! Spirit! Kif, that's the pony I always wanted but my parents said I had too many ponies already.
Yes.
I programmed it in for you.
Four million lines of BASIC.
And if this isn't the life you want, how about this? Run program Kif Two.
Oh, Kif.
We could live here at the shore of the Tranquilibrius Sea, in a time-share.
And I would pluck the moon from the sky just to see you smile.
Almost got it.
Seems to be sort of stuck.
I love you! Run program Kif-colon- slash-slash-three! This isn't bad.
My aunt had a place like this.
Amy, we could live in a bus station bathroom for all I care.
As long as we're together, it'll feeI like a castle to me.
Kif, I'd love to live with you.
Someday.
But before then, there's still lots I want to do on my own.
- What was that? - Oh, dear.
I fear the Holo-Shed might be broken again.
Well, as long as we don't cross paths with Attila the- Look! Spirit! And there's Professor Moriarty.
Jack the Ripper! EviI Lincoln! Right-o, gents.
It's another simulation gone mad.
So murder and mayhem, standard procedure.
ReaI holographic-simulated EviI Lincoln is back! The Holo-Shed's on the fritz again.
The characters turned reaI! Damn! The last time that happened, I got slapped with three paternity suits.
- Oh, my God! - Listen up, history's greatest villains.
Get back into the Holo-Shed before I start blasting.
Stop! No shoot fire-stick in space canoe! Cause explosive decompression! Spare me your space-age techno-babble, Attila the Hun.
Oh Hey! - Kif, hold on! - I totally want to! - Grab on! - Over here! Please, hold me! Have a good one.
- Oh, man! - Whew.
After all that, I could use some relaxation.
I'll be in the Holo-Shed.
Well, except for a few broken bones, some internaI hemorrhaging and a partially barfed up heart, everyone appears fine.
Phew.
Oh, and Kif is pregnant.
Oh, joy! Amy, isn't it wonderfuI? I'm pregnant.
Yes, it's great.
A great miracle.
And not one of those bogus everyday miracles, like a sunrise.
- Aren't you a male? - Yeah, what's the deaI? Just when I thought I'd figured out you biologicaI creatures, it's something else! Let me at him! Get over here, Kif! You're- Look, I'm sure we're all a little unclear on how anyone gets pregnant.
So, Kif, pray explain, and don't spare the dirty words where appropriate.
Well, it's quite simple really.
When one of my species experiences deep feelings of love we enter a so-called "receptive state.
" You disgust me.
Go on.
At that point, our skin becomes a semipermeable membrane which allows the passage of genetic materiaI.
I held Amy's hand, and voilá! Well, okay.
But that better be all there is.
Oh, Amy, you'll be a mother! What a wondrous affirmation of our love.
And all from the touch of your hand.
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