Three Hundred Big Boys This Week in the Universe.
Dateline, Tarantulon 6.
The brave warriors of Earth under the command of Gen.
Maj.
Webelo Zapp Brannigan have achieved victory over the spider homeworld.
And to the victor belong the spoils.
one trillion dollars in silken treasure.
My fellow Earthicans, after meeting with top voodoo economists I have decided to refund our silk surplus to you, the taxpayers.
That's right, I've sent you each in the form of a Tricky Dick Fun Bill.
Knock yourselves out! I'm slightly richer! What to do, what to do? One $300 hooker-bot or 300 $ 1 hooker-bots? I'm gonna swim with a whale.
- They're the gentle giants of the deep.
- I'm well aware of that.
Scruffy's gonna get himself one of them $300 haircuts.
This one's lost its pizzazz.
A fortune, it is.
At last, Zoidberg will live like a rich man! Hey, cut it out.
Go away.
Get away from me.
It's just 300 bucks.
What is that, like 100 cups of coffee? That's it! I'm getting Coffee machine, one cup of coffee, please.
Smells good.
- Leela, are you there? - No.
oh, yes, you are.
I'm hereby inviting you and your oddball coworkers to a special reception to display the national silk surplus.
I believe you know the heroic space stallion who captured it.
Show them my medal, Kif.
He rented it with his tax refund.
So, Leela, will you have the pleasure? What little there is to be had.
Tomorrow night at 8, then.
Smooches.
No cheap crack houses for me no more! Very good, sir.
Shall I pre-warm sir's crack pipe? Oh, Kif, it was so romantic of you to rent this paddle plane with your tax rebate.
We're like two dandelion seeds wafting on the breeze.
Yes.
Seeds.
Wafting.
I almost feeI kind of shallow for blowing my rebate on this cooI talking tattoo.
Hey, Gordon Gekko.
I cost as much as this whole crummy date! Shut up! Ow! Ma'am, it has become too much of a chore for me to clean out my wrinkles each day.
Is it true that stem cells may fight the aging process? Well, yes.
In the same way an infant may fight Muhammad Ali, but- One pound of stem cells, please! Of course, any age-reversing effects will be purely temporary.
Ooh! Oh! Say, buddy, why is this Grand Cigar so pricey? Well, as you can see its wrapper is a piece of the originaI U.
S.
Constitution.
It was hand-rolled by Queen Elizabeth during her wild years and was buried with George Burns untiI grave-robbing space mushrooms- Well, you know the rest.
- Give you 300 bucks for it.
- No can do.
Oh, all right.
I'll just take these $300 burglar's tools, then.
Very good, sir.
So, what time you close tonight? Hey, Pops! Did that tax rebate come? Came and went.
You're now the proud owner of Bamboo Boogie Boots! With a warning labeI this big, you know they gotta be fun.
But, Pops, I don't want to have fun.
I want to be like you, boring but prudently invested.
Babylon's bells! I tallied almost 300 bananas on this entertainment product! - Now you put them on and have fun.
- I don't wanna! Well, then, I'm gonna put them on and make you watch me have fun! See? Fun, fun- - Dwight! Help me! - I'll save you, Pops! Hey! Turn that damn music- Up.
- Isn't this fun? No! I wish I had two mommies! Try these on, sir.
I ask for rich-guy stuff, and you give me shiny pebbles? I bid you adieu.
Ah! I'd like a pass to swim with Mushu, please.
Well, you asked the right guy.
I'm the whale biologist.
Though, personally, I hate whales.
Especially Mushu.
Then why'd you become a whale biologist? I don't know you well enough to get into that.
$300, please.
Noon tomorrow.
If you're late, you tread water in the scallop tank.
Yeah.
I'll have a coffee.
- Guppy, trout, mermaid or-? - Whale, please.
Amy, I also spent some of my tax rebate on a gift for you.
Oh, Kify! It shows the time wherever we both are, and it's powered by love.
Also, you have to wind it.
- Oh! Somebody won big at Skee-Ball! - You shut up! I love it, Kif.
I'll use it whenever I want to know what time it is.
It's Fry and Leela.
Hi, Fry and Leela! Keep peddling! Oh, for the love of God, keep peddling! Bye, Fry and Leela! Oh.
Oh! I can't wait till the tattoos on Amy's butt hear about this! About what? Tell us! Don't feeI sad, my little tadpole.
I'm trying not to but my gift to you is in the belly of a whale.
Say, this reminds me of that time I ate that other watch Kif gave you.
- Hey, it is kind of like that.
- To induce vomiting.
That was the solution.
Everywhere it went.
What a Valentine's Day that was.
Hmm.
This may seem like a huge coincidence but I happen to have an in with that whale.
Scruffy's formulated a plan but you'll need a ready source of nauseating rotten fish.
- Freshen your coffee, sir? - Yeah.
Keep it coming.
Put the pot down.
Get away! You're so young in spirit.
It's hard to believe you're as old as 25.
The key is to grab life by the ho-joes.
Live every day like it might be your last.
- What'll it be, kids? - One bowI of mild farina.
Pay dirt.
Here you go, big spender.
Foie gras and caviar.
Goose liver? Fish eggs? Where's the goose? Where's the fish? Hey, that's what rich people eat.
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