Crimes of the Hot Hurry up with the water.
I'm steaming inside my own shell, I am.
It's that hot, it is.
Man, it's hot.
How hot is it? It's so hot, I poured McDonald's coffee in my lap to cooI off.
Johnny Carson said it.
No, Nibbler! Don't drink the pooI water! It's full of chlorine.
Lightweights.
Oh, wait, chlorine.
Perhaps this movie will help take our minds off the heat.
Focus! GlobaI Warming or: None Like It Hot! You're probably wondering why your ice cream went away.
Well, Suzie, the culprit isn't foreigners.
It's globaI warming.
- GwobaI wap-po? - Yeah.
Meet Mr.
Sunbeam.
He comes all the way from the sun to visit Earth.
Hello, Earth.
Just popping in to brighten your day.
La-la-la-la-la-la-la.
And now I'll be on my way.
Not so fast, sunbeam.
We're greenhouse gases.
You ain't going nowhere.
Oh, God, it hurts! Pretty soon, Earth is chock-full of sunbeams their rotting corpses heating our atmosphere.
How do we get rid of the greenhouse gases? Fortunately, our handsomest politicians came up with a cheap last-minute way to combat globaI warming.
Ever since 2063, we simply drop a giant ice cube into the ocean every now and then.
Just like Daddy puts in his drink every morning.
And then he gets mad.
Of course, since the greenhouse gases are still building up it takes more and more ice each time.
Thus, solving the problem once and for all.
- But- - Once and for all! Well, we just need one of those big ice cubes.
Call the losers who were supposed to deliver it.
- Hello? - President Nixon here.
I'm hiring you losers to deliver the ice.
And hurry up.
I'm sweating like J.
Edgar Hoover trying to squeeze into a new girdle.
You heard the good news, everyone.
Save the Earth, et cetera, et cetera.
Bye.
- Wait.
Where do we get the ice? - The what? Oh, Halley's comet, of course.
The only sufficient source of ice cubes that don't have bugs in them.
Wow.
Mining a comet.
That sounds fun.
Yes.
There's no safer occupation than mining.
Especially when you're perched on a snowball whipping through space at a million miles an hour.
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Safe.
Deploying ice drill.
Wow.
That ice dispenser's so big the ice crushes you.
- Yakov Smirnoff said it.
- No, he didn't.
Activating ice drill.
Oh, my God! It's out of ice! Like some outer-space MoteI 6.
Completely out of ice? This could mean the end of the banana daiquiri as we know it.
Also life.
With Halley's comet out of ice Earth is experiencing the devastating effects of intense global warming.
Morbo is pleased but sticky.
The scorching heat has melted the polar icecaps causing floods of biblical proportion.
They called me crazy for building this ark.
You are crazy.
You filled it with same-sex animal couples.
Hey! There are parts of the Bible I like and parts I don't like.
Direct your pity now to the African turtles seen here migrating to cooler homes in Holland.
That poor turtle.
- Bender, are you crying? - No.
Never.
Morbo wishes these stalwart nomads peace amongst the Dutch tulips.
I'm sure those windmills will keep them cool.
Windmills do not work that way! Good night! Well, everybody, I just saved a turtle.
What have you done with your lives? You went all the way to Holland already? Bender, a turtle isn't yourself.
Why do you care about it? Because I also care deeply about things that remind me of myself.
Like poor little Shelly here.
What could you possibly have in common with this walking soup mix? For one thing, we both have a tough outer shell.
But lead a rich, inner life.
And also well, you know.
You're both alcoholic, whore-mongering, chain-smoking gamblers? No.
It's just neither of us can get up when we get knocked on our back.
What? I've seen you get up off your back tons of times.
- Those times I was slightly on my side.
- Interesting.
Maybe we should test this erectile dysfunction of yours, Bender.
No, that's not necessary, really.
I think I hear my factory recalling me.
That's what I get for sharing my vulnerability with you.
Calling all scientists.
There will be a worldwide conference on global warming in Kyoto, Japan.
I've got a degree in homeopathic medicine.
You've got a degree in baloney.
- Professor Farnsworth, you're a scientist.
- Forget it.
I'm not going.
I have my reasons.
Shut up, all of you! Strange.
You haven't acted this suspicious since I found the "ape bones" in the basement.
My hip hurts.
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