Futurama is brought to you|by Thompson's Teeth the only teeth strong enough|to eat other teeth.
Insane in the Mainframe Good news, everyone.
Today marks our friend Dr.
Zoidberg's|10th year with Planet Express.
- Huzzahs are in order.
|- Huzzah.
- Hooray for me! Hooray for Zoidberg!|- I'll now read the mandatory speech.
"Dear Employee: Has it really been|5, 10 or 15 years? If not, disregard this|and get to work.
" Distribute token of appreciation|and applaud.
Look! Coupons! I can get|two oil changes for the price of one! Now if I could only afford the one.
|And the car.
Ah, the years.
So many memories so many strange fluids|gushing out of patients' bodies.
Yes, yes.
Now here's|your pension statement.
It's empty because you haven't paid|into it, you dummy.
You kept track of it all these years.
I'm boned.
I haven't paid either.
|What'll I do when I retire? - I thought you were retired.
|- I don't see you planning for old age.
I got plans.
I'm gonna turn|my on/off switch to off.
I'm gonna take action.
It's time|to check my retirement fund.
Damn! Still only 100 dollars.
A penny saved is a penny earned.
Also,|I need athlete's foot cream for my face.
He's right.
|I must start investing wisely.
Well, down to my last lottery ticket.
Cherry.
Cherry! Mule.
Crud! You got six bucks left to retire on.
|I recommend Tender Vittles.
You're opening a retirement|account for $6? I'm sure a wealthy mule farmer like you|knows we charge a $10 monthly fee.
You gotta spend money to make money.
Here you are.
|Your account is now overdrawn by $4.
I've seen lines move|faster in the sperm bank.
That's for sure-|Roberto, is that you? Bender! Hey, man! - You old lunatic! How you been?|- Not bad.
Not bad.
Everybody on the floor!|This is a stickup! I'm okay too.
I'm taking a Chinese|cooking class at the Learning Annex.
- Cool.
Can you give me a hand here?|- Sure thing, pal.
Hey, you! Red! Quit watering|that plant and get the door! - Nice talking to you.
|- Same here.
You guys are all right.
- Here's something for your trouble.
|- Thanks, buddy! Freeze! You're under arrest! Shoot them in the back!|Quick, while they're not looking! Court is in session.
|The Honorable Judge Whitey presiding.
The charge is bank robbery.
My caddie-chauffeur informs me that a bank is where people|put money that isn't invested right.
Therefore, robbing a bank is tantamount|to that most heinous of crimes: Theft of money.
As the surveillance camera for that|bank the judge was jawing about could you tell us what you|done seen that day? Well, let's see.
My memory's a little|fuzzy, but it went exactly like this: Your Honor, I move|that I be disbarred for introducing this evidence|against my own clients.
Mr.
Fry, do you recognize the robot|hugging on you in this here hologram? I sure do! That's the real robber and I'll never forget his name as|long as I live.
And that name is- Just give a name! You don't wanna|look stupid on Court TV.
You're right.
You're right.
It was- Yes? What?|You say if I testify I'll be killed? Oh, it's for you.
And the other hamburger will also be|made of your lungs.
So long, pal.
I won't testify on grounds that my|organs will be chopped up into a patty.
The 67th Amendment.
I may be a simple, country chicken,|but I know when we're finger-licked.
What if we plead insanity? A few months in an insane asylum?|I could do it on my head.
If you start now,|it might help our case.
What evidence do you offer to|support this new plea of insanity? - They done hired me to represent them.
|- Insanity plea is accepted.
Mr.
Bender, I hereby commit you to the|asylum for criminally insane robots until you are deemed cured.
Yahoo! The system fails again! And Mr.
Fry, I sentence you to the|home for criminally insane humans.
That facility has been full since you|ruled being poor is a mental illness.
Order! The only poor people|I want to hear about are those who tend to my pores|at the spa.
Send them both to the robot loony bin|and let's go.
Huh? Ow, my head! Ow, my feet!|Ow, my head! Ow, my feet! - Keep your chin up.
|Ow, my chin! I don't belong here.
|This is for insane robots.
Well, you meet half|the qualifications.
Oh, good! A physical! Once they examine my fragile,|pink body, they'll see I'm not a- Whee! What the-? I find that offensive! Greetings.
I am Dr.
Perceptron.
Let me|give you something to help you relax.
There's been a terrible mistake!|I'm human! See? I'm all squishy and flabby.
|Also, I complain a lot.
Yes, you do.
You need to relax more.
Terrific.
Now, consider|the following: You were admitted to this robot|asylum.
You must be a robot.
Diagnosis complete.
I do other human stuff.
I age! See? I'm Nurse Ratchet.
|Please come with me, won't you? We'll meet your roommate next.
|His name is Malfunctioning Eddie.
The car dealer?|I guess his prices really were insane.
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