So, what's the big news you had us rush all the way over here for? Our news.
My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa.
So as of Monday, I'm being officially relocated.
- Oh, my God! - What? Monday? - How long do you have to go for? - They said it could be up to a year.
- A year? - Well, do you have to go? Well, I kind of have to, don't I? Because of this stupid thing.
There's nothing like the support of your loving wife, huh? Wait a minute.
Wait, you can't go to Tulsa.
Maybe you forgot, but we have tickets to the Jets game next week! I'm sorry, but I don't think I'll be able to make it.
But we were gonna go see the Jets! You can't go.
I mean, you're the glue that holds this group together.
- Really? - Not you.
I can't believe you guys are moving.
- I call their apartment! - No! The One With the Pediatrician mrnch@dh.
net.
mk Subtitle Editor (c) Digital Higherground - Igor Janevski, 2004 - Here you go, Rach.
- Thank you, Joey.
You know what? I'm not even sure I can have caffeine.
I went through this with Ben and Carol.
One coffee won't affect your milk.
Just to be sure, I'm gonna call Dr.
Wiener.
Every time? You don't have to call him whenever you have a question, okay? - Trust me.
I know this.
- All right.
I trust you.
I can see you dialing.
I don't understand why I'm on the phone! Dr.
Wiener? It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby.
It's just so grownup.
I know, yeah.
I feel like we're all growing up.
A person named "Wiener.
" God, that kills me.
- Look at you all grownup.
- Well, actually, you know what? I am, you know? Well, that whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship, you know? Like, I'd like to meet a nice, mature, commitment-minded lady.
And looks aren't as important as Nah, she's gotta be hot.
You know, I might know somebody.
How about you set me up with someone, and we double-date? I can do that.
Yeah.
How's Friday? - Done! - All right.
Good, really? Okay, let's see.
All right.
You know who's great? Sandy Poopack.
"Poopack"? Yeah.
All right.
Well, that rules out Lana Titwyler.
- I've got good news.
- You got out of the whole Tulsa thing? Okay, I have news.
You don't have to move to Tulsa.
You can stay here and keep your job.
That's great! How? My boss and I worked out a deal where I'm in Tulsa four days a week.
So the other three, I can be here with you.
So you're gonna be gone four days a week? No.
I'm sorry, are you just used to saying that? No.
I can't be away from you for that long.
- Really? - Yeah, you're my husband.
I won't live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.
That's fast math.
We could use you in Tulsa.
Thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you go to Tulsa, I go with you.
You said that without gagging.
I know! Well, excuse me? Oh, yeah? Well, up yours too! - Who the hell was that? - Dr.
Wiener.
Rach, you can't call people at 3:00 in the morning.
You know what? You sound just like his wife.
Was there anything even wrong with Emma? Yes, of course there is! Okay? I'm not insane.
What was it? Hiccups.
I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up.
Well, not anymore I can't.
He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician.
Wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up you liked your doctor.
What was his name? Dr.
Gettleman? Yeah, no, I don't think that's a good idea.
In fact, I think he's dead.
Why does everything happen to me? I promise, first thing tomorrow, we'll find another doctor.
But I gotta get up early, and I'm not feeling well.
You're not feeling well? What do you have? Rubella? Because don't go near Emma, she has not had that shot.
You know, come to think of it, it does feel rubella-like.
Wiener! Wiener! Wiener! Wiener! Rachel! Great! Now he's gonna know it was me! So how is this for our big double date tonight? Oh, my God.
Great.
Just the reaction I was hoping for.
Yeah, so you found someone for me? You didn't forget? Of course not.
And you'll love Mary Ellen.
She's really smart and cute and funny and I can't tell you how I know this, but she is not opposed to threesomes.
All right.
- So tell me something about my guy.
- No.
Come on, give me something.
What's his name? - Mike.
- Mike.
Okay, what's his last name? Damn it! Is there no mystery left in romance anymore?! We'll see you and Mike at the restaurant in a couple hours.
All right, great.
See you.
Bye-bye.
Why'd I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said? There's no guys in there! It's impossible to find a good doctor.
How do you know the good ones from the ones who'll push their penis against your knee? Excuse me? I know what she's talking about.
Well, we've gotta find a new pediatrician.
Ross was getting sick last night, and Emma may have caught it.
- Why don't you see Dr.
Gettleman? - Ross said he died.
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