22. 175272 - The One With the Donor (第9季)【完整台词】

Why? What's up? I'm meeting with Professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker.

- How's it going? - It could be better.

He fell asleep.

What? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda! - Barbados.

- Fine, I'll rent a car and drive.

You have to get that job.

What am I supposed to do? He's out cold.

In fact, he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to "spank him harder.

" - Well, just wake him up.

- I can't.

If he realizes that I'm the one who put him to sleep, I won't get the job.

That's a tough one.

Oh, wait a minute.

This happened to me before.

Yeah, I was auditioning for a play, and the producer fell asleep.

L No, wait a minute.

It was me who fell asleep.

I mean, hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while? - Hey, guys, dinner's ready.

- I'm gonna go wash up first.

Thanks.

What do you think? I want his genes for my kid.

Those eyes, those cheekbones.

Okay, there's enthusiastic, and there's just plain gay.

- You don't like him.

- I think he's fine.

But we don't know anything real about him.

- I wish we could get more information.

- All right, just follow my lead.

- You guys have a great place here.

- Thanks.

I'm crazy about our place.

Hey, speaking of crazy do you have a history of mental illness in the family? No.

Although, I did have an uncle who voted for Dukakis.

That's really not the kind of thing we're looking for.

Okay.

So tell me, how'd you guys meet? Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story.

I've got a better question for you: Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes? No.

Heart disease? Alzheimer's? Gout? You guys don't have people for dinner a lot, huh? We're just making conversation.

Yeah, well, okay.

I heard a joke today.

It's pretty funny.

You know what's not funny? Male pattern baldness.

You guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight, and I'm flattered and quite frankly, a little frightened.

Can we just talk about something else? - Sure.

- All right.

This ravioli's delicious.

I notice you're enjoying that ravioli with a beautiful set of teeth.

Did you have braces as a child? - No, I didn't.

- Yes! We're teeth people, Zack.

Let's just do it.

Let's just go over there and see if she heard.

- Good plan.

- Okay.

- What? Where are you going? - Oh, I'm sorry, Rachel.

I don't have time for your childish games, okay? I still have to find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at "Who's More Over Who"! - Where have you been? - Trying on clothes.

Oh, really? In the dressing room? Well, that's so weird.

Phoebe and I were in the dressing room.

Gosh, it's just such a small world.

Rachel, I heard you two guys whispering.

Oh, God, you did, you heard.

Okay, look, let me explain.

There's nothing to explain.

I heard you.

Phoebe likes Joey.

Yeah.

I don't understand it.

I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she's here to buy a dress to impress another guy? Yeah, that's Phoebe.

That's Phoebe.

You know, she just wants them all.

It's, like, she's nympho.

- Wow! - Yeah.

You know, by the way, I heard you tell her not to do anything.

Thanks for sticking up for me.

God, you are such a nice person.

I try.

Oh, my God, you really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! You're welcome.

Wow! You look stop-eating hot! Which is like the highest level of hotness.

Okay, are you sure? Because I am really dreading going to this party.

Then don't go.

Mike knows I'm coming.

If I don't show up, he'll think it's because of him and then I'm gonna lose face.

That's a very serious thing in my culture.

All right, then you go to that party, and you pretend to be over Mike.

Afterward, you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk.

You got it.

Okay.

But not on the wine that you made, okay? Because I just don't want to go back to the emergency room.

David? Phoebe! Hi.

- Oh, my God! - Hi.

Wow! You look unbelievable.

Oh, yeah, well What are you doing here? Well, I'm back from Minsk.

Permanently.

Well, what happened? Remember how I was trying to achieve the positronic distillation of subatomic particles? Yeah.

Well, after eight years of research, I discovered that it can't be done.

Well great that you're back.

How are you? - Good.

Good.

Life is good.

- Good.

Well, I'm seeing someone.