21. 175271 - The One With the Fertility Test (第9季)【完整台词】

- I can't wait to explore the city.

- Lf you need a tour guide Oh, you mean it? That would be so fun.

Oh, yeah, definitely.

Definitely.

Okay.

What do you want to see first? We could go see the Kronos Quartet at Avery Fisher Hall.

Okay.

There's a collection of Walt Whitman letters on display at the public library.

I know.

- But first, I have to see the Met.

- Okay, let me stop you right there.

The Mets suck, okay? You wanna see the Yankees.

No.

No, not the Mets.

The Met.

Singular.

Which one? They all suck.

The museum.

I don't think so.

- Hi there.

- Hello.

Welcome to Lavender Day Spa.

How may I help you? Hi.

I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green.

- Okay.

- And here is my gift certificate.

- This has been torn up.

- And taped back together.

Okay.

Well, I'll call you as soon as your massage therapist is ready.

- Okay.

- Have a seat through the glass doors.

- Through the glass doors.

- Through the glass doors.

Alrighty then.

Phoebe, your next client's in the waiting room.

Do we have to talk like that when they're not around? Oh, no.

No, no.

Listen, is there someone who can fill in for me? - Sorry.

Everyone is booked.

- That woman can't know I work here.

She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful these massage chains are.

- Then why do you work here? - Because it's good money.

But that doesn't change the fact that this is an evil, bloodsucking corporate machine.

Well, I think this is a great place to work.

Okay, are they listening? - Ross.

Hey.

- Hi.

I need to talk to you about Charlie.

Oh, do you? Do you really? Yeah, I'm kind of having a little problem.

Look, if you don't know what the word "acrimonious" means, just don't use it.

Look, you know Charlie, right? - She's cool, funny, her body is so - Get to the problem.

Right.

She's just so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated.

Combined.

You know? And I just I don't want her to think I'm stupid.

Are you wearing two belts? Hey, what do you know? You were saying you didn't want to seem stupid.

Well, she wants to go to all these cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff.

You gotta help me out.

I don't want to get involved in your guys' relationship.

Oh, dude, please.

Come on, you're the smartest person I know.

And I really like this girl, okay? I don't want to lose her.

- Fine.

- Thanks.

Okay.

Let's see.

- Oh, you should take her to the Met.

- The Mets.

No, no, no.

The Met.

The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Oh, that's what she meant.

If they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the "Muse," you know? Short for "museum" and avoid all the confusion.

Yeah, most days the place is packed with confused, angry baseball fans.

Okay.

All right, so I'll take her to the Met.

Yeah.

Okay.

There's this great rare bookstore on Madison Avenue.

You know what? She loves architecture.

You should take a walk down Fifth to the St.

Patrick's Cathedral.

And there, there's this great little pastry shop that she'd love.

Jeez.

Sounds like you should be going on this date.

But I'm not.

- And you know what? - Okay, slow down.

You're going way too fast.

Okay? Just go back to the Met.

So you gotta tell me exactly what to do there.

When you walk into the museum, take a right, okay? That's the antiquities wing.

Ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, up to the Byzantine Empire.

Okay.

So I walk in the door and make a right.

I have a weird feeling about this place.

How do I know they won't secretly videotape me and put it all over the Internet? Because, honey, and I mean this in the sweetest way possible nobody's gonna wanna watch that.

Mr.

Bing? Here you are.

Go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.