Monica? Hey, can I borrow the Porsche? - Okay.
- All right! But what is it not? A place to entertain my lady friends.
- And what else is it not? - A place to eat spaghetti.
Very good.
What do you need it for anyway? The Powerball lottery is up to 300 million and they don't sell tickets here.
- So you're driving up to Connecticut? Yeah, Connecticut.
Not West Virginia.
Maybe I'll drive you up there.
I'd like to buy some tickets myself.
Yeah, with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use $300 million.
Yes, because if I was at my old job, we'd say, "300 million? No, thank you.
" - Will you get me tickets too? - Yeah, me too.
- Sure.
- I have an idea.
Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks, we'll pool our money together and then if we win, we'll split it.
- That's a great idea! No, thanks.
- You don't want to win the lottery? - Sure I do.
I also want to be king of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
- Still on Amelia Earhart? - The woman just vanished! Seriously, you don't want in on this? No.
Do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery? I mean, you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times.
But there's six of us, so we'd only have to get struck 7 times.
I like those odds! Seriously, you guys, I can't believe you're gonna spend $250 on the lottery.
I mean, that's such a bunch of boo-hockey.
I'll ask.
"Boo-hockey"? Oh, we think Emma's about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her.
So get ready to hear a lot of boo-hockey gosh darn it and brother pucker.
How do you know she's gonna start talking? When I talk to her, I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying.
Kind of like Joey.
What's that now? The One With the Lottery mrnch@dh.
net.
mk Subtitle Editor (c) Digital Higherground - Igor Janevski, 2004 God, look at all these tickets.
It's so exciting.
I haven't won anything since sixth grade.
Pie-eating contest? You assume because I was heavy that's the only way I could win something? No, I saw a picture of you covered in blueberries.
- That was a good day.
- Yeah.
- They're towing your car! - I'm parked in a garage on Morton.
They're towing a car.
And I am seeing spots.
Ross, you don't have Emma! Rachel, you don't have Emma! - Where's Emma? Who has Emma? - Joey, relax.
My mother picked her up two hours ago.
You were there.
- I was? - Yes, and you talked to her.
- I did? - She dropped off a casserole.
Oh, yeah, the casserole lady.
Did you come by to watch us win the big bucks? Yeah.
And then I figured after you win, we can all go out to the balcony and see a night rainbow with gremlins dancing on top of it.
Don't touch the phone! I'll get it! - You think he washed his hands? - Hello? - Hey, Charlie, what do you know? - What's going on? Chandler's supposed to find out if he's getting a job at his agency.
But out of 15 interns, they're only hiring three.
- Tough odds.
- Yeah.
If only it were a sure thing like your 24-state lottery.
Yeah, look who's coming around! Damn it.
All right, call me when you know more.
- Did you get it? - One of the slots got filled.
- By you? - Sense the tone.
- No, that kid Nate got it.
- Oh, I hate that guy.
I mean, come on, kid, pull up your pants! Well, there's two spots left, right? Yeah.
I mean, I want this so much.
I want to get one.
I want my friend Charlie to get one.
Except I don't care about Charlie.
- Hey, you guys.
- Hey! You are not gonna believe this.
I just saw my psychic and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight! I thought we could use some extra luck so I brought a wishbone home from work.
A psychic and a wishbone? Guys, give someone else a chance.
- All right, who wants to do it? - Can I? Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone.
It's really not fair.
Just because we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses.
All right.
Rach? I don't want that turkey smell all over my hands.
I'll do it! Lt'll get the casserole stink off of mine.
- I hope I win.
- Well, it doesn't really matter.
You're both wishing for the same thing.
I can't tell you what I'm wishing for, or else, you know, it won't come true.
Right.
But we know what you're wishing for.
- I can't really say.
- I understand.
But you're wishing for what we think, aren't you? I'm not really comfortable with these questions! - Please! - Just do it! Okay.
One, two, three.
I won! Hey! You know what? I'm sure your wish is gonna come true.
But, you guys, just in case, maybe a genie will come out if we rub this lamp.
That thing gets hot! Ross, just keep making your jokes.
How are you gonna feel if we actually do win? - You're not gonna win.
- I know the odds are against us but somebody has to win, and it could be us.
And then how you gonna feel? We're gonna be like, "Everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the Cape.
" And you're gonna be all, like, "Oh, I can't, guys.
I'll have to meet you up there.
I gotta gas up the Hyundai.
" Okay, I've heard myself on tape, and I sound nothing like that.
I can see the headline now: "Lottery Winners' Friend Filled With Regret, Eats Own Arm.
" Why would I eat my own arm? Well, you wouldn't, but we own the paper.
We can print whatever we want.
You know what? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you.
- Why? - Because I know that you think that the lottery is boo-hockey but we're all here, and we're gonna watch the numbers and have fun.
And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
You don't have to do that.
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