Guys! Guys! I've got great news.
Guess what.
- Monica's pregnant! - Really? Let's get past the moment.
- What's your news? - Thank you.
I got a job in advertising.
Honey, that's incredible! Gosh, what's the pay like? Oh, come on, people.
If I don't know who makes the most how do I know who I like the most? Hi, Joey.
It pays nothing.
It's an internship.
We have interns at "Days of Our Lives".
Right.
So it'll be the same, except less sex with you.
What do you think they'll have you do there? It's a training program, but they hire the people they like.
- That's great! - There's gonna be some grunt work which will stink.
A grown man getting people coffee is humiliating.
Humiliating and noble.
Thank you.
You know, if I didn't already have a job I would've been good in advertising.
Ross, you did not come up with: "Got Milk?" Yes, I did! I did! I should've written it down.
The One With the Mugging mrnch@dh.
net.
mk Subtitle Editor (c) Digital Higherground - Igor Janevski, 2004 Where's Chandler? I want to wish him good luck on his first day.
And I smelled bacon.
- He just left.
- Who did? Joey, you're never gonna believe it! She called! - She did? - You got it! - I did? - What is she talking about? I don't know, but it sounds great! Your agent called.
You got that audition! - With Leonard Hayes? - Yes! Oh, my God, that is great! It's for a play on Broadway.
And in a real theater.
Not that little one underneath the deli like last time.
- Is it a good play? - It must be.
I read it and didn't understand a single word! - Leonard Hayes is starring in it.
- Yeah, and directing.
He was so good in that movie of "Macbeth".
- You saw that? - No, but I saw the previews.
They played it right before "Jackass".
- He's done some amazing work.
- Oh, yeah.
I loved him in those phone commercials.
When the monkey hits him in the face with the giant rubber phone Maybe the monkey will be at the audition.
Don't make me more nervous than I already am! - Good morning.
- Can I get you a cup of coffee, sir? Oh, no, no.
I'm an intern, just like you guys.
Except for the tie, the briefcase and the fact that I can rent a car.
Seriously, you're an intern? I'm heading in a new career direction and you gotta start at the bottom.
Dude.
I know I'm a little older than you guys, but it's not like I'm Bob Hope.
The comedian.
USO.
It's U.
S.
A.
, sir.
This is Joey Tribbiani.
Joey, these are the producers.
And as you probably already know, this is Leonard Hayes.
It is so amazing to meet you.
I am such a big fan of your work.
I've been blessed with a lot of great roles.
Tell me about it, huh? "Unlimited nights and weekends!" Are you making fun of me? Because I am not a sellout.
I didn't do it for money.
I believe in those phones! I almost lost a cousin because of bad wireless service.
No, I wasn't making fun of you.
I think you were great in those commercials.
- Really? - Yeah.
Well, I do bring a certain credibility to the role.
Are you kidding? When they shoot you out of that cannon "Hang up that phone!" - One take.
- Wow.
- So shall we read? - Oh, yeah, sure.
Top of Act 2.
This is my entrance.
You got it? What the hell are you still doing here? - I think you know.
- Bastard! I am what you made me.
You know what? I could go right now.
- Go! Go! - I can't.
Oh, I want to, Long Pause but I can't.
So sorry.
You're not supposed to say "long pause.
" Oh! Oh, I thought that was your character's name.
You know? I thought you were, like, an Indian or something, you know, with the No.
Thank you so much for coming in.
We appreciate it.
Thank you.
You don't want me to do it again? - I could do an accent.
- No.
You know, Southern.
"I could go right now, mon!" Huh? My God in heaven.
Joey, hang on.
Leonard, can we talk to you for a moment? Yes? You've got to be kidding.
He can't act.
I don't care if you think he's hot.
If you want to sleep with him, do it on your own time.
This is a play.
If you insist on this I will call my agent so fast on a cell phone connection so clear, he's gonna think I'm next door! Hi, thank you so much for whispering for my benefit.
Tell me what I did wrong.
I'd love to work on it and try it again for you.
And also, how you doing? Give me another chance.
I really want to get better.
Please? If you want to come back today here are my notes.
Ready? - Yeah.
- You're in your head.
Thinking too much.
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