14. 175265 - The One With the Blind Dates (第9季)【完整台词】

Oh, okay, I'll try.

- And you can't make any noise.

- Okay, I'll try.

Hello? Emma? Hey! Hi! How are you? How are you? Where are your babysitters, huh? Why is the bedroom door closed? You can't have S-E-X when you're taking care of a B-A-B-l-E.

I've got bad news.

The Chinese guy left.

If it was meant to be, it's meant to be.

Look, you got stood up.

Who cares? We're gonna show you a good time.

Sit and relax.

In fact, let me bring you a crab-cake appetizer on the house.

Wow, free crab cakes? Well, that's nice.

Although I was hoping to have sex tonight.

Just the crab cakes.

What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? You can't do that.

- Just get out of here, okay? - I'm sorry, what's going on? Okay, the waiters have a little pool going.

We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.

What?! You're making money off my misery? Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.

This is unbelievable.

I have never been so insulted in my life.

Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.

Well, that was weird.

You were loud and I was fast.

I think we may have really done it this time.

I wish I didn't have to wait to take a pregnancy test.

You may want to get some more of those too.

Where's Emma? Oh, my God, where's Emma? Where's Emma? Don't ask me.

I was in there canoodling you.

Okay.

Okay.

I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma.

You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.

You better hope we're pregnant because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel! I can't believe I'm crying in front of you.

You must think I'm so pathetic.

No, no, no, I admire a man who can cry.

- Really? - Don't touch my coat.

Sorry, that's my phone.

- Hello? - Hey, Rach, how's it going? Oh, my God, this is the worst date ever.

Oh, come on.

Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? - What's up? - Hey, did you stop by here? - No.

- Oh, my God! Then Thank God! Emma, there you are! What? What do you mean, "there you are"? Where was she? We were playing peekaboo.

She loves it when I'm dramatic.

- Why the hell did you take her? - Because you two were having sex! - No, we weren't.

- Don't you lie to me.

I can tell by Chandler's hair.

You are so lazy.

Can't you get on top for once? All right.

All right, we were.

We're trying to make a baby.

Monica's ovulating.

It's unacceptable that you'd have sex with Emma in the next room.

- I'll have to tell Rachel about this.

- Please don't.

She will kill us.

Hey, I gotta.

Unless Unless what? Unless you name your first-born child Joey.

- What? Why? - Hey, I may never have kids and somebody's gotta carry on my family name.

Your family name is Tribbiani.

You almost had me.

Look I think I know the answer to this question, but would you like to make love to me? Really, really not.

It's just as well.

It doesn't work anyway.

All right, well, that's good to know.

Good night, Steve.

- Hey, what's wrong? - I just had a rough night.

Crab cake? Well, what happened? This is kind of weird to talk to you about this, but Monica told me you had a blind date.

- Yeah.

- I did too.

But is it technically a date if the other person doesn't show up? Oh, no.

Do you think she walked in, saw you and left? Why does everyone keep saying that? If it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn't shown up.

- That bad? - Well, he makes T-shirts for a living and he thought it would be appropriate to give me this.

"Female Body Inspector"? What size is that? Now wait a minute.

So they're gonna name their first child Joey? How do I get them to name the next one after me? It's easy.

You just walk in on them having sex.

Oh, so they owe me, like, three Phoebes.

Oh, my God! Look, it's Ross and Rachel! The plan is working! Don't do the plan laugh.

The first dates we've had in months, and they were both such disasters.

You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.

Wait a minute.

You don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.

We're geniuses.

- Look at them! They're really bonding.

- They're falling in love all over again.

Oh, they see us.

Oh, they look mad.

They figured it out.

They're coming.

Run! - Where? - Mexico! Can you believe they're still not here? I know.

A double blind date and we both get stood up.

What are the chances? I know, I'm so bummed.

Could we have our free crab cakes now? - What? - We've been stood up.

And we want our free crab cakes.

Guys, give it a rest.

Nobody's betting on you tonight.

Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.

I have such fat hands!