13. 175263 - The One Where Monica Sings (第9季)【完整台词】

My mom is not bringing the baby back until 9:00.

So I was hoping you and I could have a chance to kind of - Somebody here? - Oh, yeah.

That's Michelle.

- Who? - Oh, just this woman I've been seeing.

- You've been seeing someone? - Yeah, didn't I mention that? I mean, we haven't been going out too long but there's this amazing connection between us.

I mean, in fact just before you came in, she called me her boyfriend.

I thought it was a little too soon, but also, it felt kind of nice.

What are you taking amoxicillin for? How great is this? You're already comfortable enough to look through my stuff.

I'm sorry, Michelle, this is my roommate, Rachel.

And I'm also Emma's mother.

- Who's Emma? - I told you about my daughter.

This is your daughter? I could be your new mommy.

And done.

Oh, my God.

I didn't feel a thing.

Hey, are you still looking for a job? Because you could tweeze circles around that sadistic bitch at the salon.

- Thanks.

Wanna see what it looks like? - Yeah.

They totally match.

They look great.

They look great.

How you doing? Yeah, I think it looks pretty good.

I was a little worried I was uncovering a birthmark right about there but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.

- Chandler, thank you so much.

- No problem.

Listen, that was a pretty girlie hour we just spent.

We should do something manly to make up for it.

Yeah.

- Curl my eyelashes.

- Yeah! For my next song, I think I'll sing something a little more upbeat, all right? How about the Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited"? And make it bouncy.

Well, you can probably take care of that on your end.

I'm sorry I'm late.

You'll understand when you see Joey.

Honey, you're just in time.

I'm about to sing another song.

- Really? In front of all these people? - And they love me.

- Oh, my God.

- She gives the people what they want.

All right, watch.

Are those my wife's nipples? Isn't that funny? I didn't see that before.

I wouldn't have let her go up again.

I've got to stop this.

Who cares? They still love me.

You, touching yourself! Out! Wow! She does that a lot.

Ross, you didn't tell me you were a doctor.

Wait a minute.

You haven't even told her you are a doctor yet? How long have you known her, like an hour? Actually, about an hour and a half.

I told you it wasn't long, but there's an amazing connection between us.

You feel that too? - I thought that that was just me.

- Are you kidding? - Do you wanna go away this weekend? - We'll see.

Ross, what's going on here? Are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now? I don't know.

Are we just kissing guys on balconies? - How do you know about that? - Through the magic of sight.

- I was here, putting our child to sleep - Emma.

When I looked through the window and saw you kissing a guy you've known for what, a week? God, is that what this is all about? You bring her up here to get back at me? No, actually, see, I had to pee because I can't use public bathrooms because of the doody parasites.

- Okay, Michelle, it's time to go.

- Well, call me.

- Okay.

Wait, you don't have my phone number.

You know what? If it's meant to be, I'll guess it.

Bye-bye.

Score.

Did you not like her? Because I was hoping we could come to your kissing parties on the balcony.

I can't believe you are making a big deal about this.

It was one kiss! - One guy.

One time! - Oh, really? - Yeah.

- Oh, really? Oh, yeah.

- What about the guy from the bar? - Who? The guy you gave your number to.

- How do you know about that? - Because he called here looking for you.

So don't tell me kissing this guy from work is a one-time thing.

Because you've been out there in bars and on balconies for over a month now.

And you don't even have the courtesy to tell me.

- Why didn't I get that message? - What? From the guy in the bar? Why didn't I get that message? Because I folded it up and put it in my pants pocket.

Do you not look there? Ross.

I never gave it to you.

Why? - I don't know.

- Oh, God, you know what? I don't Who do you think you are? Who are you to decide what messages I should or should not get?! Who am I? I'm the guy who's taking care of our baby while you're at bars meeting guys! - I cannot believe you.

I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation about us.

But I can't do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment! Hey, none of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That's not the point, okay? The point is you are the one who moved on and didn't tell anyone.

Oh, God, Ross, this is just so messed up.

What is wrong with us? When people hear about our situation, they ask: "You live together, but you're not a couple, yet you have a baby? Isn't that weird?" And I say, "No.

It's not, because it works for us.

" But you know what? This doesn't work.

- In fact, this is the opposite of working.

- Clearly.

And you know we said that we would live together as long as this makes sense and maybe this just doesn't make sense anymore.

Yeah, maybe not.

So, what do you wanna do? Hi.

Can Emma and I live here for a while? God.

- Of course.

- Thank you.

Your eyebrows look weird.

So you'll just touch yourself for anything, then?