- Hey.
- Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Sure.
Look, can we talk about what happened here last night? Sure.
Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you.
You believe that whoever did something last night did what they did or didn't do? Okay, you really don't know what I'm talking about? - No.
- Okay.
Last night, after the party I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony.
Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny.
I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony and she said, "No, no.
It's too cold.
Nobody will go out there.
" And I said: "Maybe if we put some lights out there they will.
" Right, that's what I came over to talk about.
I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony, even though there were no lights! So are you gonna talk to her? Why? Why should I? I mean, if she wants to move on, that's fine.
You know when "that's fine" sounds true? When someone yells it and spits.
No, I'm serious.
I mean, if she wants to date people, fine.
I don't care.
But at least she could have told me.
You know, I've been putting my life on hold and concentrating on Emma.
But if she wants to go out there kissing guys she barely knows, then so will I.
Very funny! Ross is gay! No, no.
Good, so you're moving on.
Do you have any idea where you're moving on to? I've got plenty of opportunities.
Just now, there was some woman at the coffeehouse smiled at me.
And then the other day on the subway, a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life.
And there's an anthropologist at school who totally came on to me during the interdepartmental potluck dinner.
Why did I get married? The One Where Monica Sings mrnch@dh.
net.
mk Subtitle Editor (c) Digital Higherground - Igor Janevski, 2004 Hey, let me ask you guys something.
I'm having new headshots taken tomorrow.
The photographer said she thinks I should have my eyebrows waxed.
Is that weird for a guy? - Well, it depends.
- On? On how far along he is in the sex-change process.
No, I totally disagree.
I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that.
Especially an actor.
I mean, not that you need to.
Your eyebrows are Stop it, you guys.
Stop staring, you're freaking me out.
Your knuckles are kind of hairy too.
Oh, man, now I have to get those done too? - Wow, talk about high maintenance.
- You dye your hair.
- I'm a woman.
- Double standards! Before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight? - Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
- But everybody sings.
It's so fun.
Last time, this adorable old man got up there, forgot all the words, flipped out and everyone booed him off the stage.
It was so funny.
Look, I'm not good at singing.
Oh, what's the matter? You scared? You afraid I'm a better singer? You afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing? Nope.
Nope.
It's not working on me.
Wow, I must be growing up.
Okay, fine.
Just please come and support Mike.
You don't have to sing.
So I don't have to sing, and I can just sit there and pass judgment on others? - While drinking.
- I'm there.
Hi, you guys.
Listen, I really need your help.
I think I did something really stupid.
Well, yes, Rachel, but you got something so beautiful out of it.
No, not that.
I kissed Gavin last night.
- My God.
- You kissed him? Yeah, it was after the party, we were on the balcony Wait, wait, wait.
I was at home the whole time.
How did I miss that? Well, it was the end of the party.
You were probably ironing wrapping paper.
Oh, yeah.
So how did you end up kissing? We were all alone and he was being really nice and he gave me this scarf.
- I thought you hated him.
Well, there is a thin line between love and hate and it turns out that line is a scarf.
Are you thinking of starting something up with this guy? I don't know.
It's so complicated.
I work with this guy.
I have the baby, and I have Ross.
I don't know what to do.
And I have to be at the office and see Gavin in 10 minutes.
Sounds like you need to think about what you want and talk to Gavin.
- And you definitely should talk to Ross.
- Or I could call in sick and not deal with it at all.
Wow! Five months maternity leave, you're back for four days kiss a co-worker and call in sick.
They are lucky to have you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- I'm here for my eyebrow appointment.
- Name? Chandler Bing.
Okay, very good.
Have a seat right here, Mr.
Bing, and Sonya will be right with you.
Okay.
Thanks.
I touched the stuff.
I'll take care of it.
Thanks.
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