12. 175262 - The One With Phoebe's Rats (第9季)【完整台词】

Why did you invite him? I can't stand that guy! - You were being so nice to him.

- I was faking it.

Can't you tell when I'm being fake? Hey, Mr.

Phillips.

Nice suit.

Right there.

That was so fake! I still can't believe you invited Gavin.

He is just the last person I want to see.

You're welcome for the party.

I'm glad you're having a good time.

I hope he doesn't show up.

Of course he won't, the guy hates me.

- Does he? - What? Maybe he keeps bothering you so much because he likes you.

It's like in first grade when Skippy Lange would push me because he secretly had a crush on me.

Monica, you think Skippy liked you? Honey, all those boys had a bet to see if he could knock you over.

- She's out.

I'm gonna take her home.

- Okay.

Thank you.

Bye, sweetheart.

Do you see what all the guys see in her? Wouldn't kick her out of bed.

No more vodka for me.

Hey, Rach.

So can I sing "Happy Birthday" to you now? - Yeah, sure.

- All right.

See you later.

Hey, Rach.

Somebody got you shoes.

Give me! - Wow.

Wow.

Oh, my God! - Careful! Careful! These are my rat babies! Yeah.

We have rat babies now.

You brought rats to my birthday party? So this is what a stroke feels like.

Well, I had to bring them.

We killed their mother.

They're our responsibility now.

You know, they require constant care.

You should know that, you're a mother.

Are you comparing my daughter to a rat? No.

Seven rats.

We should take them home.

We need to feed them.

You're gonna leave my party to take care of a box of rats? Well, I'm sorry, Rachel, but I'm not like you.

Okay? Not everyone can afford help.

Hey, where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.

I'm sorry.

I got a little preoccupied.

Look, we have to stop them before something happens.

Right behind you, big guy.

So you see, Molly, what people don't understand is that acting is a discipline.

It takes a lot of hard work.

- So where'd you study? - I didn't go to college.

- No, where'd you study acting? - Molly, people don't study acting.

Molly, do you mind giving us just a minute? - Sure.

I'll go check on Emma.

- Thanks.

Will the stable boy never get the princess? What do you think you were gonna do, have sex with her here on my couch? No.

The leather sticks to my ass.

This isn't fair.

What makes you think I'm gonna sleep with her and then blow her off, huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actually like her and might want something real? Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel.

Okay? I didn't think I could ever love again.

- Come on! - Joe! Hi.

Is Molly here? Yeah, yeah.

Come on in.

Molly? - Hey.

Guys, this is Tabitha.

- Hey.

- I'll see you tomorrow.

- Okay.

Well, Joey, I guess we have no problem.

It's like my favorite fairy tale come true.

The princess, the stable boy and the lesbian.

Okay.

Okay, you start preparing the formula and I'll start changing the box.

And then we gotta put them straight to bed.

When did we become one of those couples whose lives revolve around their rats? Well, you know what? They're our responsibility now.

Okay, fine.

These rats are our responsibility.

What happens when they mate and there are hundreds? Mate? They're all brothers and sisters.

Yeah, not such a problem with rats.

No, they're more of a "love the one you're with" kind of animal.

No.

Really? Oh, my Get off your sister! Oh, my God.

What are we gonna do? The We have seven rats.

So, what if each of them has seven rats and then each of those has seven rats? That's like That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do? Well, I know this is gonna sound crazy but we could not let the box of rats ruin our lives.

Yeah, okay.

I guess you're right.

All right, so we should just give them away.

But to nice families with children and reduced-fat Wheat Thins.

Those were Bob's favorites.

It's gonna be okay.

- You must think I'm crazy.

- No, I think you're sweet.

Good.

This is just so hard.

It's hard for me to let them go.

I guess it just brings back memories, you know from when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up.

I haven't told you about that yet, have I? Thanks for the party, honey.

Should I help you clean up? No way.

You had your party.