12. 175262 - The One With Phoebe's Rats (第9季)【完整台词】

Yeah.

Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.

- I'm gonna take her to the apartment.

- Okay.

I'll be home right after work.

- Okay.

- Okay, bye, Emma.

I love you.

- Bye.

- Bye.

They've elected me to talk to you about the baby talk.

It's not so good.

I think it's sweet.

Bye, Emma! Hey, listen, Joey.

About Molly, I would really prefer if you didn't go after her.

- Why not? - It took months to find a good nanny.

And I wouldn't want anything to, you know, drive her away.

So you think I'm just gonna sleep with her and never call her again, and things are gonna get uncomfortable? Yeah, that sounds about right.

Come on, there are plenty of other women out there.

Just forget about her, okay? She's off-limits.

Oh, man! What'd you have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have her, makes me want her even more! - What are you, a child? - Yes! Look, Joey, come on now.

For me, please.

Just try to focus your sexual energy on someone else.

Fine.

Take me home.

- Hey, Mikey.

- Hey, Pheeb.

- What are you doing? - Setting rattraps.

- To kill Bob? - No.

No, to test his neck strength.

No, I don't want to kill him.

I thought we were gonna capture him and, you know, set him free in the countryside where he could meet a friendly possum and a wisecracking owl.

- Okay, okay.

I'll throw away the traps.

- All right, I'll find Bob.

I'll get him.

Bob? Bob? Robert? Wait, I think I hear him.

Oh, my God! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom! We'll have to think of a new name.

I don't know, I kind of like "Bob" for a girl.

No, no.

I mean, I'm not sure that we Oh, my God.

We killed Bob? Well, maybe it wasn't Bob.

Maybe it was a mouse.

Susie? What's up? Seriously, dude.

Three years ago.

Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today.

Can you keep an eye on Joey make sure nothing happens between him and Molly? - You don't trust him? - Well, no.

Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny.

" Is this your long-term plan, for me to run interference? Because I could get a job any day now.

You do appear right on the cusp of something.

Look, come on, man.

I'm sure he'll lose interest in a week or two but for now, could you please just do this for me? Fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work.

Because you know once Joey sets his mind on something more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.

Well, I mean, we've gotta do something.

Okay? Nannies like her don't grow on trees.

- Picturing that tree? - I am, yes.

Where you going, Joe? For a walk.

You mind if I join you? Actually, I'd rather be alone.

You know, I really need to organize my thoughts.

Your thoughts? Plural? All right, fine.

I only have one thought.

It's about the hot nanny! I gotta see her! - I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Joe.

- Now you're saying I can't see her? You're killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like, like like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy.

Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there? Yes, as a matter of fact, he did.

So I can't let you go.

Interesting.

Now there are obstacles.

Hot nanny and me against the world! This is the stuff great novels are made of.

- Great novels? - Fine.

Mediocre porn.

- Gavin Mitchell's office.

- Rachel Greene's office.

Give me that phone.

Hello, this is Rachel Greene.

How can I help you? Okay then.

I'll pass you back to your son.

Hey, Mom.

No, that's just my secretary.

Excuse me, Gavin.

I have a question I need to ask you.

Mom, I'll call you later.

Yeah.

- Yes? - Lf you like looking at butts so much why don't you just go look in a mirror? Thank God you finally said that.

I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago.

- Man, I really bug you.

Don't I? - Oh, no.

Please I don't care about you enough to bug me.

In fact, from now on, I'm going to take the high road and I'm going to be very, very nice to you, you mama's boy starting right now.

- Hey, Rach.

- Hi.

- Ready for your birthday lunch? - I am.

But first, Monica, I would like to introduce you to my very talented colleague and more importantly my wonderful friend, Gavin Mitchell.

- Pleased to meet you.

- Pleased to meet you.

Are you coming to Rachel's party? Oh, no, no, no, no.

Gavin can't.

He already has plans most likely with his mother.

I don't mind.

I'll cancel them.

I would never miss my secretary's birthday.