9. 227410 - The One With the Rumor (第8季)【完整台词】

Take off your shirt and tell us.

- Ross? - It was no big deal.

We said that The rumor was that you had both male and female reproductive parts.

- What? - That's right.

We said your parents decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.

- Oh, my God! - You started that? - You heard that? - Everyone at our school heard it! You were the hermaphrodite cheerleader? Oh, no! It makes sense.

This is why Adam Carter wouldn't go out with me.

Why Billy would just stay in this region.

Billy's gay now, so that one's not really our fault.

- Why didn't you tell me? - I thought it might be true.

I was afraid that you were gonna cry and then show it to me.

Stop staring! There's nothing there! It's not true! I'm afraid I'm gonna need proof.

You are my Everest.

- You don't have to finish.

- I do.

Otherwise, what's next? Today I can't finish a turkey, but tomorrow I eat half a Power Bar wrap it up and put it in the fridge? No! I gotta change my pants.

What was I thinking? Jeans have no give.

Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year.

"Dear Rach, you're such a great person.

" Not girl, "person.

" I think you're reading a little too much into it.

"You're a great person.

Sorry about your weenie.

" You want me to call everyone and tell them it wasn't true? - Yes.

- Also, tell them I'm skinny now.

Oh! Me too! I won't call anybody.

It was a million years ago.

I don't care.

You told people that I was half and half! I never did anything to hurt you in high school.

That's not totally true.

- What? - What? You did start that rumor about Ross making out with Mrs.

Altmann, our 50-year-old librarian.

How did you know that? - It's true? - No.

I saw you going at it behind the card catalog.

Mrs.

Altmann? She also made out with Ta-Taka-Ki-Kek before he went back to Thailand.

In high school you made out with a 50-year-old woman? - Hey, she didn't look 50! - Did she look 16? There's a picture of her in the yearbook actually.

- Wow.

- She didn't photograph well! She wasn't familiar with the process, having sat for oil paintings.

How did this happen? Did she lure you to an early-bird dinner? I was working late in the library.

It was just the two of us.

She needed some help with her word jumble.

And one thing led to another.

If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender.

May she rest in peace.

- Didn't she walk with a cane? - Only when it was damp! I can't believe you told people about this.

Everybody knew? - You know what? I'm back in the club! - Yeah! - I wanna join! - Phoebe? I never got to be in a club.

I didn't go to high school.

But three of us would meet behind a dumpster to learn French.

Fine, you can have your stupid, little club.

But what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you.

- You gave me a teeny weenie.

- Yeah! You're silly.

Even with that rumor you were one of the most popular girls.

Everyone wanted to be like you.

One girl stuffed her pants with a Tootsie Roll.

Wow.

If it weren't for her rumor, no one would've known who you were.

- She put you on the map.

- As a romancer of the elderly.

Mrs.

Altmann used to be pretty.

The eyes did still sparkle.

This stuff is so way in the past.

You've been through so much.

You got so much more important stuff going on.

Can't you just let this go? - She's right.

- We are having a baby together.

Hold on.

- You got her pregnant? - Yeah.

- Are you getting married? - No.

So you knocked her up but you're not gonna marry her.

Dude.

- Anybody? - Okay.

It's exactly how I imagined it would be.

All right, where's that turkey? - Those are my maternity pants! - No, these are my Thanksgiving pants! Well, that's it.

I'm done.

Here come the meat sweats.

Well, Joey, we're all very proud of you.

I believe we can expect a call from the president any moment now.

- Anything we can do? - Just nobody press on my stomach.

You can keep those pants, by the way.

What you got there? What is that, pie? - You want some? - Just cut me a little sliver.

Little bigger.

Little bigger.

What are you afraid of? Cut me a real piece!