22. 227420 - The One Where Rachel is Late (第8季)【完整台词】

And you're still pregnant.

I'm sorry.

I know how uncomfortable you are.

You know what? You look great.

Yeah, like 50 bucks.

I have to go pee.

Apparently this baby thinks my bladder is a squeeze toy.

Damn it.

Here's your 50 bucks.

That's interesting that you lost.

Now, I forget, do you like to lose? All right, stop it.

- Double or nothing she has it tomorrow.

- Fine.

Until then, General Grant, why don't you set up camp right there? - Rachel here? We have an appointment.

- In the bathroom.

- Rach, we gotta go.

- In a minute! People ask why we're not together.

I just don't know what to tell them.

- All right, let's go.

- Do you want to go change first? The doctor's staying open late for us, but if you hurry - No, I'm fine.

- You don't think that's inappropriate? - What? - Good God, man.

Don't anger it.

Ross, it is 100 degrees outside.

For the first time in weeks, I am Fine.

Whatever you want.

You're the mommy.

No! Don't call me "Mommy.

" It's bad enough you call your own mother that.

I'm actually with her on this one.

I thought I knew who the enemy was Okay, this is it.

This is my big fight scene coming up.

I'm fighting for every man in the 82nd Ground Division.

Ross? Can I ask you something? When Carol was pregnant with Ben were you this irritating? - Excuse me? - Nothing.

You're just You've been a little short with me lately.

I'm not trying to irritate you.

Well, then, you must have a natural talent for it.

The doctor will be in soon.

Why don't we not speak until then? Seriously.

Breathe louder, Ross.

That's great.

We should ask the doctor if she even knows how to deliver a baby that's half human, half pure evil! - Hi, Dr.

Long.

How are you? - You're nice to her.

She has the drugs.

We'll do a quick check.

Eight days late, huh? You must be getting uncomfortable.

Yeah, just a tad.

You're 80%"%" effaced.

You're on your way.

It still could last a while.

- There are ways to help things along.

- Do them! Actually, they're things you can do.

Home remedies.

In my experience, I've found some are very effective.

- Well, we are ready to try anything.

- There's an herbal tea you can drink.

You can take some castor oil.

There's spicy foods.

We will do all of those.

- Taking a long walk.

- Good.

Done.

And there's the one that's proved most effective: Sex.

You've got to be kidding me! Good job, Joe! Well done! Top-notch! - You liked it? You really liked it? - Oh, yeah! - Well, which part exactly? - The whole thing! Here we go! No, no, no.

Give me some specifics.

I loved the specifics.

The specifics were the best part.

Hey, what about the scene with the kangaroo? Did you like that part? I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.

You fell asleep! There was no kangaroo! They didn't take any of my suggestions! - Thanks for coming.

See you later.

- Don't go.

I'm so sorry.

Look, this guy fell asleep! He fell asleep too! Be mad at him! Or call an ambulance! What did the doctor say? Any news on when the baby will come? No.

She gave us ideas on how to induce labor.

We tried them all.

We went for a walk, we tried tea, castor oil, spicy food.

Nothing worked.

There is one thing we didn't try.

But someone thinks that that will open up a can of worms.

If it's gonna help bring the baby here, today I think you should do it.

- It's sex.

- Do it! - Monica.

- It's been a really long time for you.

I mean, women have needs.

Do it.

Get yours.

Oh, I don't know about that.

I think if the two of you had sex, the repercussions would be catastrophic.

All right, let's be practical.

If Ross isn't willing, he's not the only guy you can have sex with.

You could borrow Chandler.

Chandler is good.

Monica, what is the matter with you? - I just want the baby to be born today.

- Why today? Okay, fine.

I bet Phoebe that you're gonna have the baby, and I don't want to lose.

What? While she's been going through this hell, you've been making money? You're betting on your friend staying in this misery? - I'll take that bet.

- What? I'm miserable.

I may as well make some money out of it.

Can I get some of that action? I'm betting against all of you? I really feel like tomorrow it's gonna happen.

Okay.