Listen, I don't care what the computer says.
We didn't take a bag of Meshugga Nuts.
And we did not watch Dr.
Do-Me-A-Little.
- Were you in our room last night? - No.
I was told the movie's name wouldn't appear on the bill.
- Checking out of the bridal suite.
- Right, I'm no longer a bride.
I'll never be a bride again.
Now I'm just someone's wife.
And I'm the happiest guy in the world.
- We have so much to look forward to.
- Yeah, right.
- The honeymoon.
- That's not till Thursday.
- Wedding pictures.
- It takes weeks.
- Not the disposable cameras.
- I knew I married you for a reason! I'll go get them developed, and you can go home.
- What did you take a picture of? - Nothing.
It was something.
Ross has the cameras.
Is he checked out yet? Are you joking? Checkout is not till noon.
- And he has a good 11 minutes left.
- So? He never checks out a minute before he has to.
Once we got a late checkout, he got so excited, it was our best sex ever.
Until he screamed out "Radisson" at the end.
Okay, I'll get Ross, get the cameras and get them developed.
Thirty-two, Joe.
You're 32! - Here's your bill.
- Thanks.
Champagne, strawberries Oh, my God! I can't believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night.
Yeah, that's sad.
Meshugga Nut? The One With the Red Sweater mrnch@dh.
net.
mk Subtitle Editor (c) Digital Higherground - Igor Janevski, 2004 Soaps, shampoos.
Are you really taking all this stuff? - Why not? It's built in the price of the room.
- Yeah, but you don't need - What is this? - Thread.
Score! Where are the disposable cameras? - What disposable cameras? - Last night I asked you to take them.
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, before we cut the cake, I said Yeah, you asked me for a favor.
Then my Uncle Murray gave you a check.
Then you said, "Why is it called a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" - Yeah, then you did that.
- So you don't have the cameras? - No, sorry.
- They're gone? Monica's gonna freak! They're here somewhere.
I'll help you look.
- Great.
- In three minutes.
You're gonna open the presents without Chandler? They're calling out to me.
This guy even crawled into my lap.
He wouldn't mind if I opened one.
What do you think it is? A mirror that when you look into it, you see yourself as an old woman.
A tiny salt shaker! Oh, my God, for tiny salt! Oh, wow! Okay, that was fun.
Okay, I'll wait for Chandler to open up the rest.
Although, you know, this is part of a salt-and-pepper set.
It's only half a present.
What do you think? It's okay to open one more if it's a set.
It's probably this one.
Or this one! - Got any morning sickness? - The guys don't know, do they? No.
Chandler thinks Phoebe's pregnant.
Right.
Chandler still thinks I'm pregnant.
He hasn't asked me how I feel, or offered to carry my bags.
I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him.
After you, of course.
You'll only be pregnant a few more hours.
I'll tell the father today.
Is it that tall guy from the first floor? - No! - What? I think he's cute.
- Then you have his baby.
- I'm trying.
It's so weird.
You're gonna tell this guy today, and he has no idea.
You'll just knock on his door and change his life forever.
You're like Ed McMahon, except without the big check.
Or the raw sexual magnetism.
- Yeah, I guess it's pretty big news.
- Pretty big? It's huge! God, this guy is walking around thinking: "I had sex with Rachel Green.
I rock!" Then, bam! He's a father, everything's different.
Only if he wants it to be.
I won't ask for anything.
Okay, now he's walking around thinking: "Do I want to be a dad?" Then, bam! - What was that "bam"? - I don't know.
He's hit by a bus.
Joey, what would you do if someone you slept with told you she was pregnant? Who called here? Did she sound blond? Any accent? I gotta make a call.
Should have never walked into that Sunglass Hut! It's not you! You didn't get anyone pregnant.
Why would you scare me like that? What the hell's going on? Is somebody pregnant? Oh, yeah! That's me.
Oh, my God, Pheebs! You're gonna have a baby? Yes, I am.
Oh, my God, I'm gonna have a baby! - Wait, who's the father? - You don't know him.
He wants nothing to do with me or the baby.
Who is this guy? Because I'll track him down and kick his ass! - David Linn.
- David Linn! - Who's David Linn? - Some annoying guy from my gym.
- Chandler? - Did you find the cameras? - No.
Did you? - Yes, that's why I'm under the table.
I checked in the lost and found.
No one's turned them in.
Great.
Those cameras were the only thing that will cheer Monica up.
You just got married.
Why is she depressed? I'm not going to ask that question.
I can't believe I screwed this up! I'm sorry, man.
Here's a thought.
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