19. 227424 - The One With Joey's Interview (第8季)【完整台词】

I haven't been able to stand up since.

But I don't think it's serious.

Sounds like a hernia.

Go to the doctor.

No way! If I go to the doctor, it's for this thing sticking out of my stomach! Why'd I have to start working out again? Damn you, fifteens! - What is it? - A trifle.

It has layers.

A layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam.

Then custard, which I made from scratch.

Raspberries, more ladyfingers, beef sauteed with peas and onions.

Then a little bit more custard.

It tastes like feet.

I like it.

- Are you kidding? - What's not to like? Custard, good.

Jam, good.

Meat, good! Well, you don't look good, Joe.

Well, the fridge broke, so I had to eat everything.

Cold cuts, ice cream, limes.

Hey, what was in that brown jar? - That's still in there? - Not anymore.

This piece doesn't have floor on it.

- Stick to your side.

- Hey, come on, now.

All right, what are we having? I don't believe in these crazy diets.

Just everything in moderation.

Your muffins.

I'll take those to go.

For the kids.

I know what I wanted to ask.

They killed you off years ago.

What happened there? I said some stuff in an interview I shouldn't have said.

- But that is not gonna happen today.

- Understood.

- So, what'd you say back then? - I said that l - Hey, Joey! - How you doing? This is Shelly.

She's interviewing me.

Shelly, these are my friends.

Hi, I'm gal pal Rachel Green.

If you want the dirt, come to me.

This might be Joey's baby, who knows? I'm just kidding.

Seriously, gal pal Rachel Green.

Who just lost the respect of her unborn child.

I'm gonna go get this warmed up.

- You're doing great.

- So far, nothing stupid.

- Mento? - No, thanks.

As Joey's friends, is there anything our readers should know? No, just that he is a great guy.

That'll get you into "Soap Opera Digest.

" Well, l I'd like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.

I think that you don't expect someone so hot to be so sweet.

- I like that.

What's your name? - Phoebe Buffay.

- How do you spell that? - It's P as in Phoebe.

H as in Heebie.

O as in Obie.

E as in Ebie.

B as in Beebee.

And E as in, "'ello there, mate!" Great.

It was nice meeting you.

- Yeah, you too.

- Thanks.

It seems you have a lot of friends.

Who is your best friend? How come you have two? Well, this one's for you.

- Get out! - No, I can't.

I know how much this means to you.

This isn't just about jewelry.

It's about you and me and the fact that we're best buds.

Is this friendship? I think so! Check it out! We're bracelet buddies! That's what they'll call us! - I'm sorry.

- It's all right.

Don't worry about it.

That's gonna leave a stain.

Rach, hey, it's fine.

You're at Joey's.

- Really? - Yeah, look.

- I've never lived like this before.

- I know! Well, don't waste it.

I mean, it's still food.

Jeez! I feel guilty.

I wanna be a good friend and damn it, I am a good friend.

So shut up and close your eyes.

You are a good friend.

The audition was this morning, and I didn't get it.

But that was a hell of a kiss.

Rachel is a very lucky girl.

Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths.

And they're off! Get your foot off my contestant! Judge! Judge rules: No violation.

- The duck gets the Nutter Butter! - No! That's just an old won ton.

Judge rules: Nutter Butter! Tough call.

- I saw it on the Discovery Channel.

- Wait a minute.

I saw that! Yeah, about jellyfish, and how if you You peed on yourself? You can't say that! You don't know! I thought I'd pass out from the pain.

Anyway, I tried, but I couldn't bend that way.

So That's right, I stepped up! She's my friend and she needed help! If I had to, I'd pee on any one of you! Nope.

No best friend.

Just a lot of close friends.

So now back to the show.

How does it feel to have a huge gay fan base? Really? Me? Wow, I don't even know any huge gay people.

It hurts me.

It physically hurts me.

Now, off the record, you're not What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, it just looked good, but it's practical.

It's got compartments for stuff: Your wallet, your keys.

Your makeup.

Should I climb down your front so we're face to face or should I climb down your back so we're butt to face? - I think face is best.