14. 227414 - The One With the Secret Closet (第8季)【完整台词】

You're crazy.

There's nothing sexual about the noises I make.

There's nothing sexual about this? Oh, God! What are you looking at? I mean, hi.

This is embarrassing.

I'm never getting a massage again.

Don't let this stop you from getting massages.

I have lots of clients that make those noises.

- Really? - Well, not clients.

Lovers.

We'll try it again.

Come back, and we'll work through it.

- You sure? - Yes.

- I guess.

- Great! Now, if you'll just excuse me.

So did you hear something you liked? Hey, Ross, check it out! I learned a new trick.

Hey, I bought you some lunch.

Oh, that's so sweet of you.

Oh, yum.

- Did you put pickles on this? - Well, yeah.

What? What? Rach, what? - What's going on? - I made her tuna with pickle.

Pickle? Pickle makes her sick.

Giving her pickle is like giving me salad.

I'm sorry, I didn't know.

You okay? I'm fine, but someone make sure it's gone when I get out? I'm on it! I shouldn't be the one making her throw up.

- It could happen to anyone.

- Not to you.

You know this stuff.

I don't know any of it and I'm the father.

I wish I could be more involved, you know? Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.

Can I talk to you guys for a second? - Yeah.

- What's up? Sit down.

I wanna talk about our situation.

Are you breaking up with us? The thing is because I live with Rachel, I'm here for a lot of stuff.

And Ross is missing everything.

So Yeah? You two should live together.

Are you asking me to move? You don't want me here? No, I love living with you.

It just seems that if you're gonna have a roommate, it may as well be the father.

But, Joey, I don't think Ross wants me to move in and disrupt his life.

Or he does.

I would love to be around for you and the baby.

We can just try it, like on a temporary basis.

- But it's you and me.

- It wouldn't be anything romantic.

I'm dating Mona.

Damn it, Mona! I was supposed to meet her an hour ago.

What is wrong with me? So, what do you think? - I don't know.

Is it crazy? - No.

Joey, this is a smart idea.

Well, I was due.

- Let's do it.

- Really? Rach, that's great.

That's great.

Not too shabby.

I got this all off myself using my wife's tools.

Oh, my God.

How did you get in there? You're messy.

- No! You weren't supposed to see this! - I married Fred Sanford.

Chandler, you don't understand.

Okay, okay, fine! Now you know.

I'm sick.

No, honey, you're not sick.

I don't love you because you're organized.

I love you in spite of that.

Really? - Promise you won't tell anyone? - Yes.

Now that I know, if I've got extra stuff, can we share the closet? Well It's just I'm afraid you might mess it up.

So Rachel's all moved out? How you taking it? I wanted to have a few beers but I got rid of those because Rachel couldn't stand the smell.

I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium.

It's a couple weeks past its expiration date, so it's got a bit of a kick.

- Are you okay? - You kidding me? Yeah, I'm great.

I'm better than great.

I am good.

Now that she's gone, I can do stuff around here that I couldn't do before.

Like I can walk around naked again.

I can I can watch porn in the living room.

This is good for me.

I like being on my own.

I'm better off this way.

I'm a lone wolf.

A loner.

Alone.

All alone.

Forever.

What's a wolf gotta do to get a hug around here? That's it, just relax.

- Come on, more.

- Oh, God! You like that, don't you? - Yeah, right there.

- Want it there? Take it there, baby.

- Phoebe? - Yeah, say my name.

Say it.

And now I'm going to cover you back up.

And I won't be speaking with you for several weeks.