Hey.
-What's the matter? -Someone on the subway licked my neck! Willy's still alive! -What are you doing? -My mom called.
They're announcing our engagement in the paper.
-We're looking for a good picture.
-I'm afraid that does not exist.
There are great pictures of us.
No, there are great pictures of you next to a guy who's going like this.
.
.
.
Oh, my God, that's the creep that you're with at the Statue of Liberty.
I don't know what it is.
I just can't take a good picture.
MONICA: Here's a great one.
-Yeah, I'm not in that.
-No, but look at me, all tan.
Why don't you get portraits done by a professional photographer? That's a great idea.
I bet they have one of those wind machines.
Yeah, that's great.
Next to that, Chandler won't look so stupid.
-Chandler, what do you say? -All right, but I'm not going.
"I'm" going.
The One With The Engagement Picture Gelula/SDI Dude, that reverse lay-up.
-And how about those three-pointers? -Amazing.
And those guys were this close to letting us play this time too.
Hey, look.
Phoebe's talking to Cute Coffeehouse Guy.
You call him "Cute Coffeehouse Guy"? We call him "Hums While He Pees.
" Yes, and we call Ross "Lingers in the Bathroom.
" Hey, you guys, "Hums While He Pees" just asked me out.
-I thought that guy was married.
-He's getting divorced.
Ross, maybe you know him.
It's not a club.
If he's getting a divorce, is it a good idea to date him? -Hey, divorced men are not bad men.
-That's on the napkins at the club.
-I gotta go to work.
-You don't have to go for a half-hour.
My assistant, Tag, does sit-ups in the office during lunch.
I could just spread him on a cracker.
Rach, why would you hire this guy? -You know you can't date him, right? -I know that.
We joked that we spend so much time together.
.
.
.
.
.
he should call me his "work-wife.
" Soon he'll be able to call you "that lady he knew that got fired.
" I won't get fired, because I'm not gonna act on it.
You wouldn't mind if he was dating someone? Why, is he? He is, isn't he? He's dating that slut in marketing.
Maybe I should open a divorced men's club.
Dude, that's so sad.
I could put a basketball court in the back.
Could I play? Oh, no sit-ups today, Tag? -I just did them.
-Well, drop and give me 1 0 more.
What? I had a drink with lunch.
-Did those cost reports come in? -I did them last night.
Could you make me 4 copies? -Sure.
-Great, thank you.
Huh.
Oh.
-Hey, Rachel.
-Hi, Melissa.
What's up? I'm just about to go out to the store.
Get some stuff to put in my backpack.
Dried fruit and granola, and stuff like that.
-What's up? -Is Tag here? No.
Why? I was gonna talk to him about tonight.
Really? You got a little crush on Tag there, do ya? We've been flirting back and forth.
.
.
.
.
.
but I was hoping tonight it would turn into something a little more.
Easy there, Melissa.
This ain't a locker room, okay.
But you know, I remember him saying that he had plans tonight.
-Oh, no.
-Oh, yeah.
All right, back to work.
Hey, isn't that Tag's backpack? I don't want to be known as the office bitch, but I'll call your supervisor.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Great, that's great, Monica.
Great.
Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile? Okay.
-I'm sorry, is the seat uncomfortable? -No, I am.
Chandler, I know you can do this.
You have a beautiful smile.
-I do? -Yeah.
Maybe you don't have to smile.
Let's try something else.
-Try looking sexy.
-Okay.
Or not.
Hi, Joey, what are you doing here? I got an audition down the street, and I spilled sauce on my shirt.
-You got an extra one? -Yeah, sure.
Here.
Great.
You got anything that's not Ralph Lauren? Yeah, I don't think so, Joe.
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