You have got to try this cheesecake.
You know, I'm not that much of a sweet tooth Oh, my God, it's so creamy! That's the best cheesecake I've ever had! Where did you get this? It was at the front door when I got home.
Somebody sent it to us.
This isn't addressed to you.
This is addressed to Mrs.
Braverman downstairs! Thief! I didn't read the box before I opened it and you can't return a box after you opened it! - Why not? - Because it's too delicious! You stole this cheesecake.
That's wrong.
No, it'll be okay because Mrs.
Braverman will send for a free one.
That way, we all win.
The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate "Mama's Little Bakery.
" I feel terrible.
I'm a horrible, horrible person.
I'm sorry, what? The One With All The Cheesecakes I should get going.
Big day at work.
You know how I'm in a coma? Today they do a test on me and it turns out I'm not brain-dead.
So Mr.
Smarty Pants.
It's just my character that's not brain-dead.
Pheebs, still on for tonight? - Absolutely.
- I'll see you at 8.
What's at 8? Dinner.
We get together about once a month to discuss the rest of you.
Wow! Did not know that.
May I say how lovely you look today? Duly noted.
So for tomorrow, do you want to rent a car and drive down together? - What are you talking about? - Cousin Frannie's wedding.
You were invited? No.
Oh, my God, I can't believe this.
I thought only Mom and Dad were invited.
From the ages of 7 to 9, Frannie and I were inseparable.
Maybe since the age of 9, Frannie's made some new friends.
It's probably just a mistake.
Let me call Aunt Cheryl.
Maybe you are invited and the invitation got lost in the mail.
You call her and tell her that when we were kids her precious Frannie tried to undress me several times.
If I hadn't stopped her, there wouldn't be a wedding to go to.
She tried to undress me too.
I used to undress my cousin Glenn.
Joseph Francis Tribbiani, are you home yet? I think he's still out.
What's wrong? I'll tell you, Rachel Karen Greene.
I had plans with Joey, and he left me this note.
"Pheebs, can't make it.
Got a date.
Talk to you later.
Big Daddy.
" - "Big Daddy"? - That's a nickname we were trying.
You know what nickname never caught on? "The Ross-a-tron.
" Here's Joseph Francis! Wait, what are you middle-naming me for? I left you a note.
That doesn't give you the right to ditch me! You can cancel plans with friends if there's a possibility for sex.
He's right.
That is the rule.
I don't accept it.
When we make plans, I expect you to show up.
I'm not a way to kill time till you meet someone better.
Boyfriends and girlfriends will come and go, but this is for life.
I'm so sorry.
I had no idea it would bother you this much.
Well, it does.
Well, can I make it up to you? I'm sorry.
How about dinner tomorrow night? I'll pay for myself.
Okay, you wore me down.
While you're over there, how about a beer for "The Ross-a-tron"? "Ross" Is that back? The other cheesecake came.
They delivered it here again.
Just bring it downstairs.
What's the problem? I can't seem to say goodbye.
Are you serious? We ate an entire cake two days ago and you want more? Well, I've forgotten what it tastes like.
It was cheesecake.
It was fine.
It had a buttery, crumbly, graham cracker crust with a very rich yet light cream cheese filling.
Wow, my whole mouth just filled with saliva.
Know what? Forget it.
We're just hungry.
We haven't had lunch.
We're just lightheaded.
So let's go have lunch and forget about the cheesecake.
We'll drop it off so we're not tempted.
- Where do you want to eat? - Mama's Little Bakery, Chicago.
Mel Tormé died.
Joey, that paper's like a year old.
Does that mean the Sam Goody's sale is over? So, I finally heard back from Aunt Cheryl and apparently it wasn't a mistake.
There's limited seating Limited seating? I am just one tiny person! Yeah, but she doesn't know that.
I mean, the last time she saw you you'd have turned one of those little wedding chairs into kindling.
"Limited seating.
" That's such a lame excuse.
That's not the reason she's not inviting me.
What's the big deal? I wasn't invited to the ceremony, just the reception.
If it makes you feel any better, Joan and I will just make an appearance and then we'll leave early as a sign of protest.
- Joan? - Yeah, my date.
Assistant professor in linguistics.
Tall, very beautiful.
And despite what some people say, not broad-backed.
Wait a minute.
You got "Ross Geller and Guest"? I wasn't invited, and you got "and Guest"? Excuse me, I do have to interrupt on Ross' behalf.
I think the rule applies here.
Since he has a chance to get on broad-back Not broad-back! Wait a minute.
You're bringing me.
I can't cancel on Joan.
- Why not? - Did you not hear me? She's an assistant professor in the linguistics department.
They're wild.
- Why do you want to come anyway? - Because she's my cousin.
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