17. 225568 - The One With Unagi (第6季)【完整台词】

This one starts now.

Only identical twins are eligible.

It's a twin study.

But it's $2000! Sorry.

And this? "Testing the Effects of Joey Tribbiani on Attractive Nurse Receptionists.

" Results are back on that one.

They're not good.

-That was good.

-Yeah.

Danger! Danger! What the hell was that? A lesson in the importance of unagi.

You're a freak! Perhaps.

Now I'm curious.

At what point during those girlish screams would you have kicked my ass? All right, so we weren't prepared! I'm sorry I took drastic measures to make my point.

I just want you to be safe.

Danger! Ah-ha! Unagi! I wish I had a twin.

Where could I find someone who looks exactly like me? Chandler.

I sensed it was you.

What? Unagi.

I'm always aware.

Are you aware that unagi is an eel? -What's up? -What should I make for Monica? Why don't you make her one of your little jokes? I'm going crazy.

Do you have anything homemade? You know what? She'd love this.

It's a replica of Apollo 8.

I made it in the sixth grade.

I could use that.

I could say, "Your love sends me to the moon.

" Except Apollo 8 didn't actually land on the moon.

You can write, "Your love lets me orbit the moon twice and return safely.

" I can't give this to her.

-Why not? -It says "Captain Ross" on the side.

And it says, "I hate Monica" on the bottom.

Danger! Salmon skin roll.

"Yes, honey, I made it myself.

" I can't do it.

I can't do it.

A mixed tape! A mixed tape! Hi! Ready to exchange gifts? -Sure.

You go first.

-Okay, come here.

Okay, it's not wrapped because I just finished it.

But I made you a tape of what I think are all romantic songs.

What a great gift! Is "The Way You Look Tonight" on it? We'll have to listen and see.

Oh, I love it! Thank you so much.

You ready to open yours? It's a sock bunny.

Remember how I call you bunny? Not really.

I did one time.

And I want to start doing it more.

-That's what this is about.

-I see.

Phoebe makes sock bunnies.

No, she doesn't.

What she makes, they're sock rabbits.

They're completely different.

Okay, okay.

I didn't make it! I forgot about tonight and that we're supposed to make the presents.

It's okay.

No, it's not okay.

You're so incredible.

You went through all this time and effort to make this tape.

I'll make this up to you.

I will.

I am going to cook you anything you want in here.

And I'm going to do anything you want in there.

Well, I did put a lot of thought into the tape.

You are way too young to have seen that.

Your birthday's in a month and a half.

What if I forget to get you a present for that too? You are totally and completely We've got to wash that.

Remember that jacket you loved that was too expensive? You have done enough.

I'll wake up early and get it.

No-- Get it in black, not brown.

Your cake is ready.

It's like that old saying, "Have sex, eat some cake.

" Hey, Mon.

Hey, Chan.

Just getting a soda.

Who the hell are you? I'm Joey.

"How are you doing?" No! No! No! No! No! How "you" doing? How "you" doing? Damn it, Carl! Go wait in the hall.

I've got to apologize on behalf of Carl.

Who the hell is Carl? Did I not mention? Carl is a guy I hired to be my twin for a medical research project.

Sometimes the good ideas are right in front of you.

It sounds crazy, but it might work.

The only problem is Carl's acting.

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The only problem? He's the reason I didn't get that big commercial two years ago.

We were supposed to be brothers, but he messed up.

Can I get a piece of that cake? Pizza! We like pizza! Get out! -Pat Sajak? -Yep.

-Alex Trebek? -Of course.

-Chuck Woolery? -Definitely.

You will not find a single game show host whose ass I cannot kick.

-Say it! -Say we are unagi! It's not something you are, it's something you have.

Say it! I could easily get out of this.

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but there's a chance you could get very, very hurt! Carl, we're next.

Now remember, what is this not gonna be? -Another Minute Maid fiasco.

-That's right.

And what are you not gonna do? -I'm not gonna talk because-- -Damn it, Carl! Can I have the next one, please? Thank you.