14. 225564 - The One Where Chandler Can't Cry (2) (第6季)【完整台词】

-Where are your parents? -They didn't want to come.

-Chandler! -Poor thing.

That story doesn't make you cry? No.

Look, I don't cry.

It's not a big deal, okay? No! It's not okay! It's not okay at all! You're dead inside! -Excuse me? -Yeah? -Are you Phoebe Buffay? -Yeah.

Can I get your autograph? I'm your biggest fan.

My biggest fan? I've always wanted to meet you.

Sure.

Yeah.

Wow.

Wow, thanks a lot.

I just want to say I think you're really talented.

You're just saying that because you're my biggest fan.

Take good care of that guy.

He's a fan.

Bye.

So you saw me on Days of Our Lives, huh? You want me to do a little Doctor Drake Ramoray for you? I have no idea what you're talking about.

But I just got Phoebe Buffay's autograph.

Oh.

You're Phoebe's fan.

Oh, yeah.

I've seen all her movies.

Movies? That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.

I don't think so.

No, it was.

She was in Sex Toy Story Two Lawrence of a Labia.

And I got her autograph.

The guys at the comic book store won't believe this.

Gunther? Don't let that guy in here anymore.

He said Phoebe's a porn star.

Well, I wouldn't call her a star, but she's really good.

You should check out lnspect Her Gadget.

-Hey.

-Hey.

Ross just totally blew me off, and he didn't even tell me why.

Oh, well.

The best thing to do to get over a guy is to start dating someone else.

Oh! There is this great guy you will just love at work, named Bob.

He's a real up-and-comer in Human Resources.

Thanks, but I'm not gonna date some random guy from your work.

Not random.

Bob.

It's probably because I'm not mature enough or smart enough.

.

.

.

Maybe he doesn't like the way I dress.

No, that can't be it.

It's gotta be the smart thing.

I'm so stupid.

I'm just this, like, incredibly pretty, stupid girl.

No, honey.

Okay.

Okay.

You want to know why Ross canceled the date? Because I asked him to.

You asked him to? -Why? -Because you are my sister.

.

.

.

.

.

and Ross and I have this huge history.

You want to go out with Ross? No.

You don't want him, but you don't want me to? You know, Bob in Human Resources.

.

.

.

I can't believe you did this! You had me doubting how smart I was! You had me doubting my fashion sense! It's not that big a deal.

Just don't date Ross.

There's other-- You have no right to tell me what to do.

I'm not telling you what to do.

I am telling you what not to do! Why are you so jealous of me? This is not about me being jealous.

It's about you being a brat, wanting what you can't have.

Can't have? Excuse me.

The only thing I can't have is dairy! Well, you just blew your chances at dating Bob! -Who? -With Human Resources! Jealous of her? Who does she think she is, Princess Caroline? -You're jealous of Princess Caroline? -Do I have my own castle? Hey.

-Phoebe's not here, is she? -No.

Did you get a movie? Yeah.

Yeah.

But I don't think it's the kind you're gonna like.

Not more movies that'll have us reaching for the tissues all night? Sort of.

What's going on? Phoebe's a porn star! -What? -Yeah! What are you talking about? "Phoebe Buffay in Buffay The Vampire Layer.

" That's Phoebe.

Where did you get that? At the adult video place on Bleecker.

And I saw Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him.

.

.

.

.

.

to surprise him.

Then I pretended that I didn't know he was in there.

Wow.

I mean, I just can't believe this.

I mean, you think you know someone.

Even Phoebe, who's always been somewhat of a question mark.

This is so bizarre.

I guess it makes sense.

She had such a terrible childhood.

I had a bad childhood and I don't do porn.

Yes, but you're dead inside.