Guys, look! Ugly Naked Guy's putting stuff in boxes.
I'd say our naked buddy is moving.
Ironically, most of the boxes seem to be labeled "Clothes.
" I'm going to miss that big old squishy butt.
And we're done with the chicken fried rice.
If he's moving, maybe I should try to get his place! It would be so cool to live across from you guys.
We could do that telephone thing where you have a can, we have a can and it's connected by a string.
Or we could do the actual telephone thing.
He's got packing tape stuck to where you really don't want it.
Get it off, fat man! Get it off! Oh, no, he's trying to pull it off slowly.
Take it from me, if you're gonna pull tape off yourself, it's gotta be in one quick motion.
Like that.
The One Where Everyone Finds Out Oh, my God.
I love this apartment! Isn't it perfect? I can't believe I never realized how great it is! Because your eye goes to the big naked man.
It's amazing! Hurry up with an application, or I'll beat you to it.
Well, I'm going to use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom.
Look! There's Monica and Chandler.
Hey, you guys! Chandler and Monica! Oh, my God! Oh, my eyes! My eyes! It's okay! -They're doing it! -I know! -I know! -You know? Yes, I know it.
Joey knows, but Ross doesn't, so stop screaming! What's going on? -What? -Nothing! We are so excited that you'll get this apartment! Looks really good.
Looks pretty good! Get in here! Come on! You mean whenever Monica and Chandler were doing laundry or going grocery shopping? The time Monica spent on the phone with Linda from camp? Doing it, doing it, phone, doing it.
I can't believe it! I think it's great.
For him.
She could do better.
Hey, you guys.
Come here! Phoebe found out about Monica and Chandler.
You mean how they're friends and nothing more? Joey, she knows.
We saw them doing it through the window.
Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.
We saw them fornicating.
So they know you know, and they don't know that Rachel knows? Yes, but it doesn't matter who knows what.
Now enough of us know that we could just tell them we know.
All the lying and the secrets will finally be over.
Or, we could not tell them we know, and have a little fun.
What do you mean? If they say they are doing laundry, we'll give them laundry to do.
I would enjoy that.
You know what would be even more fun? Telling them.
-That doesn't sound like fun.
-So we'll make it fun.
We'll do it like a barbershop quartet! We know, we know, we know No, I want to do Phoebe's thing.
I can't take You don't have to do anything.
Just don't tell them we know.
I can't take anymore secrets.
I got your secrets, their secrets, secrets of my own.
You don't have any secrets.
Well, you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal.
How are we going to mess with them? You could use your position as the roommate.
And I would use the strongest tool at my disposal.
My sexuality.
Hello, children.
Watch.
Learn.
And don't eat my cookie.
That jacket looks great on you.
-Really? -The material is so soft.
Hello, Mr.
Bicep.
You're working out? I try to squeeze things.
Are you okay? If you really want to know I can't tell you this.
You can tell me anything.
Actually, you are the one person I can't tell this to.
And the one person I want to the most.
What's going on? I just haven't been with a guy in so long and sometimes you're looking for something and it's right there in front of you, sipping coffee.
Oh, no.
Have I said too much? Just something to think about.
I know I will.
You are so cute.
How did you get to be so cute? My grandfather was Swedish.
And my grandmother was a tiny little bunny.
Now you're even cuter.
You know, that is a popular opinion today, I must say.
The weirdest thing happened at the coffeehouse.
Phoebe was hitting on me.
What are you talking about? I think Phoebe thinks I'm foxy.
It's not possible.
I'm sorry, Phoebe's just always thought you were charming in a sexless kind of way.
You know, I can't hear that enough.
I just think you misunderstood her.
I didn't, okay? She was all over me.
She touched my bicep, for crying out loud.
This bicep? Well, it's not flexed right now.
Why is it so hard for you to believe that Phoebe could be attracted to me? It's not.
All the girls are attracted to you.
You're part bunny.
Mon, you want to come see a movie with us? Actually, I was going to do some laundry.
Want to do it with me? Sure, I'll do it with you.
Okay, great.
Hold on a second.
Here you go.
That would really help me out a lot.
Thanks.
You know what? I don't have enough quarters.
I have quarters! Great.
Now we can do laundry all night.
All night laundry! Hey, any word on the apartment yet? I called there, and it turns out Naked Guy is subletting it.
He's already had 100 applicants.
-Oh, man.
-No, no, it's okay.
Because you know what the difference between them and me is? Your history of bedwetting? Hey, I trusted you, man! Anyway, the difference is I've got the edge.
It's not exactly ethical, but I sent him a bribe to tip the scales in my direction.
You can see it from the window.
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