13. 467662 - The One With Joey's Bag (第5季)【完整台词】

Oh, thanks! Pulling flowers out makes the bag look masculine.

Excuse me, is this the memorial? Welcome.

Here's your 3-D glasses.

All right.

So how did you know Frances? Actually, I hadn't seen her for years.

But I was pretty tight with her and her daughter.

What's your name? Frank Buffay.

You know what? Strike that.

My name, actually, is Joe.

Joe Hill.

You're Frank Buf No! Joe Hill.

You just said I got to go.

Thank you so much for coming.

Oh, my God! What happened? That was my dad.

Check it out! It's like it's coming right at me.

-Did you catch him? -What did he say? He said, "Nice to meet you, Glenda.

" I couldn't give him my real name.

Why not? You saw the way he ran.

You think he'd talk to the daughter he abandoned? What did you say to him? I said I was the executor of the will and I needed to talk to him.

I'm going to meet him at the coffeehouse.

Could everyone take their seats? I just can't think about that now.

I want to say goodbye to my grandma.

Let's go say goodbye.

I'm off to my audition.

How do I look? Great! That bag will get you that part.

And a date with a man.

You know what? Make fun all you want.

This is a great bag.

And it's as handy as it is becoming.

Just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong.

You guys have to get used to the fact that Joey comes with a bag! I've got to meet my dad.

Will you tell him who you are? Not at first.

I don't want to freak him out.

But aren't you pissed at him? This guy abandoned you.

If it were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger.

I'd walk in there, I'd be like, "Yo, Dad! You and me, outside.

Right now!" I kind of scared myself.

Well, at least you scared someone.

You'd think I'd be angry.

You'd think I'd want to rip his tiny, little head off! Fortunately, I'm past it.

You do seem a little tense.

Here, let me help you.

Get off! Stop it! Why are you doing that to me? What are you talking about? As a masseuse and a human I'm begging you, never do that to anyone! I give good massages.

I gave them to Rachel before she got allergic.

And Chandler, he loves them! Watch.

He does not like it.

He's in pain! -No, he's not.

-Yes, he is! -What? -I'm sorry, but You've been lying to me? I can't believe that.

Maybe he didn't want to hurt you.

But the minute we start to lie to each other.

And by "we" I mean society.

Anytime you're ready.

Well, you must be new here.

Maybe we get a table, I buy you a drink.

Could you try it without the purse? Yeah, sure.

Well, you must be new here.

Maybe we sit Can I ask you something? Sure.

What? Well, first, it's not a purse.

Anytime.

If you think it's a woman's bag, it's not.

It's a man's bag.

Okay.

And go! Let me show you the catalog.

Look.

See? It's the latest thing.

Everyone's got one.

Men, women, children.

Do you sell these? No, these babies sell themselves.

Thank you.

That was great.

But I didn't read anything.

I think we've seen enough.

All right, I'll see you.

We got it.

We got it.

Is Rachel here? Listen, I just wanted to apologize about the whole massage thing.

I really like them.

Please, stop! We're supposed to be honest.

I wish you could tell me, "l don't like your massages.

" I don't like your massages.

See? It's no big deal.

But now you're crying! I'm not crying about that.

I'm crying about something at work.

My boyfriend said he didn't like my massages.

You don't have to be best at everything.

Oh, my God! You don't know me at all! You give the worst massages in the world.

I'm crying here! Look, hear me out.

You give the best bad-massages.

If anybody was looking for the best bad-massage and they thought, "Who's the best?" They'd have to go to you.

So you're saying that if there was an award for the best bad-massage.

Who would get that? It would be you! You, Monica! And you'd get all the votes.

So they could call the award, "The Monica"? Absolutely.

I suck! Thank you for meeting me.

Thank you.

Come sit.

Sit.

Sit! Alrighty.

Before we get started, I need you to state for the record that you are, in fact, Frank Buffay.

Yes, I am.

What did Frances leave me? That's why you wanted me to come.