11. 466610 - The One With Phoebe's Uterus (第4季)【完整台词】

I can't believe my little brother's married! Why didn't you tell me you were eloping? Well, we were at court, eating lunch Why were you at the courthouse? We were having lunch.

We were like we're here, we're having lunch.

Let's get married! Right? A year ago, I didn't know I had a brother.

Now I have a sister! Oh, it's so great.

Okay.

Okay.

Stop it! Don't! I'll get you a gift now.

Is there anything you need? We've been trying to get pregnant since we got engaged, to get a jump on things.

No one's getting any younger.

Because the thing is, we're not able to, you know, conceive.

We've seen a bunch of doctors.

They say that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg, put it together in a dish and put it into another girl.

We were wondering if you could be that girl.

That's a really nice gift.

I was thinking of a gravy boat.

We know it's a lot to ask.

We don't have anyone else to go to.

We could pay someone but we don't have that kind of money.

Plus, you know, you're family and, you know I just don't want my baby to grow into some chick I don't know, you know? Don't give us an answer yet, think about it.

And if you say no, we'll totally understand.

Okay.

Okay.

And we were wondering if you could give us a ride down to the train station.

Well, actually, we kind of need an answer to that one right now.

The One with Phoebe's Uterus Check it out! Guess what job I just got.

I don't know, but Donald Trump wants his blue blazer black.

What? Blue blazer back.

He wants it back.

You said "black.

" Why would he want his blue blazer black? Well, you know what I meant.

You messed it up.

You're stupid.

So, what job did you get? Tour guide at the museum.

Ross got it for me.

Don't you have to be a dinosaur expert? They give you all the information.

It's like memorizing a script.

On your left you have a tyrannosaurus rex, from the Jurassic Period.

Very nice.

Yeah, actually, Joey, it's the Cretaceous Period.

But I can pronounce Jurassic.

Frank Jr.

and Alice got married! Oh, my God! They're having a baby! They want me to grow it for them in my uterus! -My God! -Are you serious? You're thinking of having sex with your brother? Ew! And, oh, no! They want me to be the surrogate.

It's her egg and his sperm.

I'm the oven.

It's their bun.

What did you say? I had to think about it first, but what is there to think of? I'll be giving someone the greatest gift.

You'll carry their child and get them a Sony PlayStation? This is an incredible thing to do.

But there are things to think about.

Yeah, you'd be pregnant.

I mean, pregnant.

I know.

You'll put your body through an awful lot.

I mean, morning sickness, labor.

It's all for somebody else.

Yeah.

What's your point? Well, the stuff I just mentioned.

I couldn't do that.

I always figured the first time I had a baby, it'd be with someone I love.

And that baby was, you know a keeper.

You were more supportive when I wanted to make denim furniture.

If you decide to do this, we'll be supportive like crazy.

Just think it through.

Talk to somebody who's had a baby.

Like your mom.

My mom never gave birth.

Oh! But my birth mom did! I love this tushy! Can I take it to work with me? Yeah, sure.

It's not mine anyway.

It came with the pants.

I am so jealous.

You guys are just right there.

Yes.

Right where? The beginning, where it's all sex and talking and sex and talking.

You got to love the talking.

-And the sex? -We haven't had sex.

What's the big deal? This is special.

I want our love to grow before moving to the next level.

Oh, Chandler, that is so nice.

That is really nice Iying! -No way is that the reason.

-Why? Because you're not mature enough to understand that? He's right.

I'm totally lying.

Then what is it? Kathy's last boyfriend was Joey.

And you're afraid you won't be able to fill his shoes? I'm afraid I won't make love as well as him.

-I was going for the metaphor.

-I was saying the actual words.

He's had a lot of girlfriends.

Doesn't mean he's great in bed.

We share a wall.

Either he's great, or she liked to agree with him a lot.

Loudly and a lot.

All night long she'd agree.

It'll be different.

The sex will be great because you're in love.

-Just go for it.

-Yeah, you should.

All right.

I'll sleep with my girlfriend.

But I'm just doing it for you guys.

Now, the mastodon is from the semi-late Jurassic Period.

Isn't the mastodon from the Pliocene Epoch? This is a museum.

No talking.