Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her parents, and I don't know what happened.
I'm your mother.
Monica joked she wouldn't date Chandler.
I don't know what happened there either.
Ross' new girlfriend shows up.
Rachel gets Bonnie to shave her head.
Then they kiss.
Now he has to choose Rachel or the bald girl.
I don't know what happened there either.
Hold on.
Let me go get Chandler.
She's helping me.
My head's sunburned.
-Thanks a million.
-You're welcome a million.
Smell it.
Minty.
I'll be in our room.
Oh, my God! I know.
I got to go.
I got to go break up with Bonnie.
Here? Now? I can't stay here all night.
If I go in there, she'll want to do stuff.
Can't you say you aren't in the mood? No, she likes that.
Faking sleep doesn't work.
I've woken up many times with her -Why am I telling you? -I don't know.
-Not every morning -Making it worse! The One with the Jellyfish You probably want to know how it happened.
I think I can figure it out.
I was born, and then everyone lied their asses off.
No, it wasn't like that.
Remember how I said Lilly, Frank and I were close? We were very close.
How close? The three of us were kind of a couple.
I don't know how that would work.
I'm not asking! Anyhow, somehow I got pregnant and I was scared.
I was stupid and selfish.
I was 18 years old.
Remember what it was like to be 18? Mom killed herself and my dad ran off.
I lived in a Gremlin with a guy who talked to his hand.
I'm sorry.
I thought I'd left you with the best parents.
I didn't hear about them till a few years ago.
By then, you were already grown-up.
You're here and I would really like to get to know you.
Well, everybody does.
I'm a really cool person.
You had 29 years to find out, but you didn't even try.
You walked out on me, and I'll do the same.
I don't ever want to see you again.
Where's my purse? Shoot! We're out of soda.
-I'll get you some.
-Really? No, because I'm not your boyfriend.
Hey, Pheebs, how'd it go? My mom's friend, Phoebe, is actually my birth mom.
I found a dried-up seahorse.
What do you mean? My new mom, who's a big fat abandoner.
Don't you want to stay here and talk about it? I need to be alone.
Man.
Hey what if you found out that your mom wasn't really your mom and your new mom turned out to be really hot? Oh, man, huh? But, it's your mom.
No, I'm talking about your mom.
It's over.
Was it awful? It was long.
I didn't realize how late it was till I saw the five o'clock shadow on her head.
She didn't want to stay.
I called a cab.
She just left.
I wrote you a letter.
Oh, thank you! I like mail.
It's just some things I've been thinking about.
About us.
Before we even think about us getting back together I need to know how you feel about this stuff.
It's 5:30 in the morning.
So I'd better get cracking on this baby.
I'll be waiting for you.
Come up when you're done.
I'll be up in 18 pages.
Front and back.
Very exciting! What happened to you? Why didn't you come up? Done.
-You just finished? -I wanted to be thorough.
This is clearly very important to you.
To us.
I wanted to read every word carefully.
Twice.
Does it? I'm sorry? Does it? Does it? Does it? I wanted to give that whole "Does it?" part another glance.
What do you mean? You said you read it twice.
It either does or doesn't.
If you have to think No, I don't have to think about it.
In fact I've decided.
I have decided that it does.
-Are you sure? -Sure, I'm sure! There's a nuclear holocaust.
I'm the last man on earth.
Would you go out with me? I've got canned goods.
Take a look at this! Check this baby out! Dug me a hole.
Excellent hole, Joe.
Oh, no! My hole! My foot! What is it? Jellyfish sting! It hurts! Can we help you to the house? It's two miles.
And I'm tired from digging.
Damn the jellyfish! Damn all the jellyfish! Do something.
There's only one thing.
What is it? Pee on it.
Gross! I saw it on Discovery Channel.
He's right.
There's ammonia in that that kills the pain.
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