24. 465273 - The One With the Ultimate Fighting Champion (第3季)【完整台词】

That was the problem.

-How long until Pete's fight? -About five minutes.

They' re interviewing his opponent.

Apparently, he trains by going to lran and pulling the arms off thieves.

-Hot dog? -Four, please.

I' m really nervous.

Thank you.

So how did it go with Bonnie? Oh, I gotta tell you, I wasn't expecting to like her at all.

I actually wasn't expecting to like anyone right now.

But she's really terrific.

It's too bad.

No, I' m saying I liked her.

There are other fish in the sea.

I think she's great, okay? We' re going out again.

I hear you.

Are you capable of talking about anything else? Which one's my turkey burger? The one next to my foot.

Sorry.

-Fight's starting! -We'll be right in.

So did your boss try to slap you again today? Nine times.

I had to put on lotion.

But it'll be okay.

Tomorrow, I conduct an experiment.

And if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack-free.

Fight's over! Excuse me, Doug? Hey there, sports fan! Bing! You got those numbers for me? No.

I didn't do them.

You forgot? No, I just didn't do them.

Instead, I hung out with some friends and had a couple of beers.

So I certainly don't deserve praise.

verbal.

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or otherwise.

I got tanked myself last night.

Pretty dicey drive home.

Tappan Zee Bridge never looked smaller.

That's okay.

You' re still my number-one guy! Bing! Doug! I' m a little bit uncomfortable with the way that you express yourself.

Is it the swearing? ls it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell you, if it is, you can just kiss my ass! It's not about the swearing.

It's more about.

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the way that you occasionally.

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concentrate your enthusiasm.

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on my buttocks.

Don't get me wrong.

I appreciate the sentiment.

It's just that I have a rather sensitive posterior.

And besides, it's making all the other guys jealous.

Well, say no more.

You know, it takes guts to bring this up.

Bing, you' re okay.

Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant.

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or inside his shower drain? Oh, my God.

Look.

It's Ross and that girl.

Look at that! It's a line of ants! They' re working as a team! Right.

Oh, yeah.

It looks like Ross is breaking up with her.

I hope he lets her down easy.

Look at that! They are not breaking up! Look at them! You know what that is? A second date, that's what that is.

Look, she just put her hand on his thigh.

That's nothing.

She's very sexually aggressive.

Oh, God! It's your fault.

Now he loves her.

He'll marry her.

It's all your fault.

You said it was okay.

You said she was bald! Was! Was, was, was! We can't let it happen.

We have to do something.

We have to break them up.

Just go in there and shave her head! You owe me one bald girl! Okay, first of all, breathe.

Second of all, I don't get it.

Aren't you the one that decided you didn't want to be with Ross? Well, isn't he your friend? Don't you want him to be happy? So? It's just, you know, I didn't expect him to be this happy so soon.

-Oh, no.

-What? We killed them all! It's not as bad as it looks.

It's a precaution.

I' m not supposed to move my spine.

Please tell me you' re stopping now.