4. 457305 - The One With Phoebe's Husband (第2季)【完整台词】

Okay.

Ole! What? The Matador.

Ole! Sweetie, can you hold this for a second? Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face.

But it's gone now.

You're all right.

Hi, everyone.

I wanted to thank you for our little talk before.

No problem! So you're gonna go with the waiting thing? I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.

Good.

What did he say? He told me to get over myself and just do it.

I thought about what you said and about what he said.

And his way, I get to have sex tonight, so.

What is this in my pocket? Why, it's Joey's porno movie! Pop it in! I'm fine, if you're okay watching a video filled with two-nippled people.

People having sex.

That's just what I need to see.

What's wrong with people having sex? Well, you know, these movies are offensive and degrading to women and females.

And the lighting's always unflattering.

-Monica, help me out here.

-Hell, I wanna see Joey! So is there a story? Or do they just start doing it right Oh.

Never mind.

Wait a minute.

That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.

All I say is, she'd better get the job.

Looks to me like he's the one getting the job.

Here I come.

See, I'm coming to fix the copier.

I can't get to the copier.

I'm thinking, "What do I do?" So I just watch them have sex.

Then I say Here's my line! You know, that's bad for the paper tray.

Nice work, my friend! Wait, you see me again.

Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me.

There I am.

There I am.

There I am.

So what's up? You came to see me yesterday.

I kind of need a divorce.

O kay.

How come? Actually, I'm getting married again.

What? I don't know how to tell you this.

I'm straight.

I don't understand.

How can you be straight? You're so smart and funny and you throw such great Academy Award parties! That's what I kept telling myself.

But you reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.

How long have you known? I guess on some level I always knew I was straight.

I thought I was supposed to be something else.

I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay.

I was just trying to fit in.

And there's actually a woman? Her name's Debra.

Well, is she the first that you've been with? I've never told you this but there were one or two times back in college when I'd get drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me.

I told myself it was the liquor, and everyone experiments in college.

Sure.

Now I know I don't have a choice.

I was born this way! I don't know what to say.

You're married to someone for six years and you think you know him.

And then one day he says, "Oh, I'm not gay!" I'm still me.

Why couldn't you just have figured this out six years ago? You know, it still smells like monkey in there.

That saves us the conversation.

This has been great, but I'm officially wiped.

Me too.

We should get going.

No! Come on, you guys! Come on, it's only 1 1 :30.

Let's just talk.

We never just hang out and talk anymore.

Rachel, that's all we do.

Maybe that's all we do.

What about Julie? What about Julie? You have been in our lives for nearly two months now and we don't really know you.

I mean, who is Julie? What do you like? What don't you like? We want to know everything.

Well, that could take awhile.

So? Who here does not have the time to get to know Julie? I got the time to get to know Julie.

I know her pretty well.

Can I go? That's fine.

Let's start with your childhood.

What was that like? In a nutshell So, have you told your parents? No, but it'll be okay.

They're pretty cool.

My brother's straight, so.

Here you go.

You know what? I just have one more question.

If you had figured this out sooner, and I had been around do you think l would have been the one? No.

Don't tell me.

I don't think either answer would make me feel better.

Here.

I love you, Phoebe.

So your brother's straight, huh? Seriously.

and my second-grade teacher was Miss Thomas and my first-grade teacher was Mrs.

Cobb.

Mrs.

Gobb? No, Cobb.

Like cobb salad.

What exactly is in a cobb salad? I'm going home.

Boy, that Julie's a talker, huh? Good night.

It's pretty late.

You're probably not still planning on.

No, I am.

Are you nervous? I have done it before.

I mean, how are you gonna handle it? Are you gonna talk about it beforehand? Are you just gonna pounce? I don't know.

I guess I'm just gonna see what happens.

Good luck! What? Nothing.

It is your first time with her, and if the first time doesn't go well well then, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.

Okay, now I'm nervous.

Maybe you should put it off.