3. 457303 - The One Where Heckles Dies (第2季)【完整台词】

Like that guy on the subway who eats his own face.

So I figure I'll be "Crazy Man With A Snake.

" Crazy Snake Man.

Then I'll get more snakes, call them my babies.

Kids will run past my place! "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout! You've got to get over this.

You won't end up alone.

Of course I will.

I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me and then I bitch that there aren't any great women out there.

You have just described virtually every man that we've ever gone out with.

You are not a freak.

You're a guy.

She's right.

You're no different than the rest.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Yes, he is.

You are totally different.

In a bad way? No, honey, in a wonderful way.

You know what you want now.

Most guys don't even have a clue.

You're ready to take risks, be vulnerable and intimate with someone.

You're not gonna end up alone.

You called Janice.

That's how much you wanted to be with someone! -You've made it! -You're there! You are ready to make a commitment! Don't know about that! What you got there? Something else that's not yours that you can break? I know you like this and I want you to have it.

It'll look good in our apartment.

Thank you.

That's fine.

You'll all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night.

This woman Allison from work.

She is great.

She's pretty, she's smart.

And I've been holding off asking her out in the past, because she has a unusually large head.

But I'm not going to let that stuff hang me up anymore.

Look at me.

I'm growing.

You can't recycle yearbooks, can you? I'll take that.

You want his yearbook? Some people said nice things about him.

Somebody should have it.

Gosh, this is so weird.

His whole life was in this apartment and now it's gone.

I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments for Mr.

Heckles.

He was kind of a pain.

He was, but he was a person.

You're all going to hell.

It's really not that big! -Taking that with you, huh? -Oh, yeah.

You coming? In a second.

Goodbye, Mr.

Heckles.

We'll try to keep it down.

My major was useless.

How often do you look in the classifieds and see "Philosopher Wanted"? Sure.

My God, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office.

Maybe it's the lighting.

My head must look like a golf ball at work.

Don't get hung up on it.

Quick! List five things you like about her.

Nice smile, good dresser.

Big head, big head, big head!