23. 457324 - The One With the Chicken Pox (第2季)【完整台词】

Chandler, Mon, there's only one banana-nut muffin left.

I ordered mine first.

Yeah, but I'm so much faster.

Give it to me.

No.

Give it to me! Okay, you can have it.

There you go.

Enjoy your coffee.

That was there when I got here.

Hey, you'll never guess who's coming to New York.

Quick, tell us before he swallows.

Ryan, that guy I dated who's in the Navy.

You went out with a guy in the Navy? I met him while playing guitar in the park.

Ryan threw in saltwater taffy because he didn't have change.

Is that when you wrote "Saltwater Taffy Man"? No, he's my submarine guy.

He resurfaces every couple years and we have an amazing three days together.

Only this time, he's coming for 2 weeks.

Two whole weeks, which means "yea"! So this guy goes down for, like, two years at a time? That'll teach you to lick my muffin.

Hi.

Oh, no.

What happened? I just spoke to Carol.

Ben's got chickenpox.

Oh, no.

Yeah, so if you haven't had it, chances are you'll get it.

-I've had it.

-I've had it.

-Had it.

-Had it.

I've never had it.

I feel so left out.

Oh, look! The One With the Chicken Pox Honey, you made the bed again.

I told you, you don't have to do that.

This isn't camp.

Then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for.

I'm taking a shower.

Today I'll sing Jim Croce's "Leroy Brown.

" Hey, Mon, I have a question.

Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man? The baddest.

Otherwise, the song would be "Fat, Fat Leroy Brown.

" What are you doing? I'm just waiting for you, sweetie.

Are you remaking the bed? I'm sorry.

The way you did it, it was just fine.

Then you're redoing it because? You'll think I'm crazy.

You're pretty much running that risk either way.

Okay.

You see the duvet tag shouldn't be at the top left corner it should be at the bottom right corner.

-That's not so crazy.

-I'm just easing you in.

All right.

You see these little flower blossoms? They should be facing up not down because the head of the bed is where the sun would be.

You don't love me anymore, do you? Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.

Really? Wow.

Well, then, come on! I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.

If you need something to hold you over I can get you a job here as an entry-level processor.

Don't you need experience like this? It's not hard to learn.

As for people realizing you don't know what you're doing, you're an actor.

Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.

Here's this morning's projections.

Thanks.

Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbiani.

Joey is a fellow processor.

No kidding? I process.

People want the processing, I'm the one they call.

-Where do you work? -Well, I'm in between things.

You know, one day you're processing, the next day you're not so much processing anymore.

I told Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.

Fleischman's group.

Whatever you do, don't touch his sandwiches.

Are all you processors dorks? This lipstick looks just great on you.

You look fabulous.

You really do.

Yeah, are you sure? Really? See, you look beautiful.

For God sakes, dim the lights.

I'm hideous! It's gonna be okay.

Ryan's been underwater.

He's just gonna be glad you don't have barnacles on your butt.

Come in.

Hey, baby, I'm back Hey, Ryan.

What's up? What's going on? No, no.

You have to stay back.

I have the pox! Chicken or small? Chicken, which is so ironic considering I'm a vegetarian.

-Why aren't you home in bed? -My grandmother's never had chickenpox.

Please tell me you have, because oh, my God, I forgot how cute you are.

I'm sorry, I never had them.

If I had one wish, I'd go back to when I was 7 when Jimmy Hauser had chickenpox, and rub that kid all over my face.

Yeah, or you could wish that I didn't have them now.

Can I please see your face? No.

You don't wanna see a face covered with pox.

It could be lox, I wouldn't care.

And you hate fish.

So sweet.

All right.

Okay, all right.

You can see.

This is me.

Sorry! I am scary! The lightening was an unfortunate coincidence.

You look lovely! Lovely! I hate this.

I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us.

And everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.

I've spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men thinking about this moment.