17. 457317 - The One Where Eddie Moves In (第2季)【完整台词】

Smelly cat, smelly cat What are they feeding you? Okay, sorry.

I'm just not getting that everyone gets how smelly this cat actually is.

Maybe if we could talk about this because I need to feel that you really care about the cat.

We can talk.

It's just that this costs $100 a minute to be in here.

So the cat stinks, but you love it.

Let's go.

No, there is no way he was a velociraptor.

Look at the cranial ridge, okay? If Dino was a velociraptor, he'd have eaten the Flintstones.

Were you taking a nap? I was.

Tony, can you hold on? That's the other line.

Yeah, she's here, but can she call you back? Okay, thanks.

Call Joanna.

Did she leave a number? Did you see me write one down? I don't have her number, butt-munch.

She'll call back.

Don't be such a baby.

You're the baby.

-Get off my back.

-Get out of my face.

Wait, hold on, Tony.

Hold on.

Yeah, she's right here.

Hold on.

Tony, can I call you back? That's my sister's boyfriend.

Give me that.

Sweetie, before I forget, did l leave my diaphragm at your place? Hi, Mom.

So how's the palace? It's funny you should mention that because I was thinking.

What's with the boxes? Actually, I have some news.

Is that Joey guy gonna pick up his moose hat or should I toss it? Why don't you ask him yourself? This is my new roommate, Eddie.

Nice to meet you.

-Likewise.

-How you doing? I'll take that.

It's what I came for.

This is new.

Where'd you two meet? At the supermarket in the ethnic food section.

I helped him pick out a chorizo.

We got to talking.

He needed a place, and I had a spare room.

Now it's a spare room? Well, yeah.

In that it's not being used and I have it to spare.

Well, I got what I came for.

I'll see you.

Hey, Joe.

When'd you start using moose in your hair? Is this guy great, or what? Yeah, he is.

I can't believe he has a new roommate.

Who is he? Eddie.

He just met him.

It'll never last.

He's just a rebound roommate.

Check it out! Check it out! It's "Smelly Cat," the video! Now, I haven't seen it yet, so if you don't like it so what? None of you ever made a video.

Get out of here, cat! You stink! Smoking! Look at me! Smelly cat, smelly cat What are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat It's not your fault Smelly, smelly, smelly Really bad smelling smelly cat It's not your fault Smelly cat, smelly cat -Oh, my God! -I know.

I sound amazing! They won't take you to the vet You're obviously not their favorite pet Smelly cat, smelly cat It's not your fault I've never heard myself sing before.

I mean, except in my own head.

This is so cool! Now I can hear what you hear! Pretty different, huh? I am sorry, but I'm incredibly talented! Smelly cat, smelly cat It's not your fault What's going on, man? Eddie.

Morning.

I just came by to pick up my mail.

-Where's the mail? -Over there on the table.

You don't keep it on this table anymore? Eddie likes it over there.

All right, here you go, my friend.

Eggs a la Eddie.

That's great.

What? I thought you liked your eggs with the bread with the hole in the middle, a la me! I do, but Eddie makes them this way.

They're pretty darn good.

Will you try some, there are some extra.

-No, thanks! -All right.

Well, you guys I'm out of here.

See you, pals.

See you.

-How are you two getting along? -I couldn't be happier.

Great.

I'm happy for you.

All right, that's it! He just comes in here, Mr.

Johnny New Eggs with his moving the mail and his "See you, pals.

" And now there's no juice! There's no juice for the people who need the juice.

I need the juice! There's another carton there.

This isn't about juice anymore, all right, man? All right.

So what's it about? Eggs! Whose eggs do you like better, his or mine? -Well, I like both eggs equally.

-Oh, come on! Nobody likes two eggs equally.

I wanna know which one you like better.

What's the difference? Your eggs aren't here anymore.

You took your eggs and you left! Did you expect me to never find new eggs? Maybe this is not about the eggs.

Maybe it's about the chicken that lay them.

What chicken, there is no chicken.

I can't talk to you.

I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight.

Tough.

We're watching Predators of the Serengeti.

Would you guys stop! It's my TV! -Quit it! -Bite me! Monica keeps changing the channel.

That's great.

Why don't you tell Mommy on me? Now I'm Mommy in this little play? Look, I refuse to get sucked into this weird little Geller dimension thing, okay? So I'm gonna go take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy! What do we do about this? We could tape Entertainment Tonight.

Not that! This! Us! Oh, my God, Ross, it's.

You're just.

Since you've been here, you're driving me.

Mon, you've gone ultrasonic again, all right? I just can't stand you being here all the time! Why? Why can't you stand me being here? We're just having fun.

Fun? You think this is fun? I thought we were fooling around, like when we were kids.

I hated you when we were kids! You hated me when we were kids? I hated you.

I loved you in a you're-my-brother- so-l-have-to way but basically, I hated your guts.

Why did you hate me? Because you were mean to me and you teased me and you always got your way.

That wasn't fun for you? I can't believe you hated me.

But now I love you.