16. 457316 - The One Where Joey Moves Out (第2季)【完整台词】

Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city? I know.

He's a new man.

It's like a scene from Cocoon.

I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.

He told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl.

He told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.

-Really? -I've never seen him this happy.

So, Jack ever think about trading me in for a younger model? Of course not.

With you, it's like I've got two 25-year-olds.

Oh, Jack, stop! Come on! It's my birthday! Can we drop this? I am not interested in the guy's apartment.

Oh, please.

I saw the way you were checking out his moldings.

You want it.

Why would I want another apartment? I've already got an apartment that I love.

It wouldn't kill you to say it once in a while.

All right.

You want the truth? I'm thinking about it.

-What? -I'm sorry.

I'm 28.

I've never lived alone and I'm at a place where I got enough money that I don't need a roommate.

I don't need a roommate either.

I can afford to live here by myself.

I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.

Why are you getting so bent out of shape? We didn't agree to live together forever.

We're not Bert and Ernie.

I am awared that we are not gay parpens.

You know what? If this is the way you feel then maybe you should take it.

-That's how I feel.

-Then maybe you should take it! Maybe I will! -Fine with me! -Great! You can spend more quality time with your real friends the spoons! Whose drink can I freshen? Almost time for cake! Mon, are you okay? You remember that video I found of Mom and Dad? Well, I just caught the live show.

-Hey, there.

-What? Nothing.

I just heard something nice about you.

Really? -Your son isn't seeing anyone, is he? -Not that I know of.

I was thinking, why doesn't he give Monica a call? That's an idea.

Well, actually, I'm already seeing someone.

Oh? She never tells us anything.

Ross, did you know Monica's seeing someone? Mom, there are so many people in my life.

Some are seeing people and some aren't.

Is that crystal? So who's the mystery man? Well, he's a doctor.

A real doctor? No, a doctor of meat.

Of course he's a real doctor.

And he's handsome.

And he's sweet, and I know you'd like him.

Well, that's wonderful.

Mom, it's okay.

It is, Judy.

Jack! Could you come in here for a moment? Now! -Found it! -I'll take that, Dad.

It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.

That's impossible.

He's got a twinkie in the city.

I'm the twinkie.

-You're the twinkie? -She's not a twinkie! Look, this is the best relationship I've been in Oh, please! A relationship? Yes, a relationship! For your information, I'm crazy about this man.

Really? Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday? This is a good thing.

You said you've never seen Richard happier.

When did I say that? Upstairs in the bathroom, right before you felt up Mom! Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you Happy birthday, dear Jack Happy birthday to you It looks so good! Oh, I love it.

I know, so do l! I'm so glad you made me do this.

Okay, let me see yours.

Let's see yours again.

We just saw mine.

Let me see yours.

Oh, no! It's gone! That's so weird.

I don't know how, where it went.

You didn't get it? Why not? I'm sorry! I'm sorry! How could you do this to me? This was your idea! I know! I was gonna get it, but he came in with this needle.

And did you know they do this with needles? Really? You don't say? Because mine was licked on by kittens! Serially, does it hurt a lot.

No, it's just like a pinch like that.

That's really hurt me, that's gonna leave a mark.

I'm sorry about what -Yeah, me too.

-I know.

Do we need to hug? No, we're all right.

So I got you something.

Plastic spoons! -Great! -Lick away, my man! These will go great in my new place till I get real ones.

What? I can't use these forever.

They're no friend of the environment.

No, I mean what's this about your new place? I'm moving out, like we talked about.

I didn't think that was serious.

You know, I thought that was just a fight.

Well, it was a fight based on serious stuff, remember? About how I never lived alone or anything? I think it would be good for me.

Help me to grow or whatever.

Well, there you go.

Hey, are you cool with this? I don't wanna leave you high and dry.

I've never been lower or wetter.

I'll be fine.

I'll just turn your bedroom into a game room.

Put the foosball table in there.

Why do you get to keep the table? I did pay for half of it.

I paid for the other half.

I'll tell you what.

I'll play you for it.

All right, you're on.

I can take two minutes out of my day to kick your ass.

Your men will get scored on more times than your sister.

Which sister? So are you sorry that I told them? No.

It's been a long time since your dad and I went running.

Did you get it? -ls Ross here? -He went out for pizza.

Okay, really quick.

That's great! Very tasteful.

Wanna see mine? Wanna see mine? What? You didn't get one.

Okay.

Well then, what is this? What are we looking at? That blue freckle? That's my tattoo.

That is not a tattoo.