Okay, here's his diaper bag and his Mr.
Winky.
And him.
Hi! -How did everything go? -Great! There was a projectile throwing up incident, but he started it.
We've gotta go.
Oh, right.
I've got some news.
It's about us.
You and me? No.
Susan and me.
The other "us.
" We're getting married.
As in, "I now pronounce you wife and wife" married? We'd like you to come.
We understand if you don't want to.
Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding.
I just thought that Why shouldn't I be happy for you? What would it say about me if I couldn't revel in your joy? And I'm reveling, baby! Believe me! Is your finger caught in that chair? Want us to go? The One With the Lesbian Wedding This is cool.
You're actually on television.
I know.
It really hit me last night.
I'm on Days of our Lives.
Then I started thinking about us, and how these are the days of our lives.
Yes! What? Carol and Susan's caterer had a bike accident and she's in a full-body cast.
They want me to do it, which is cool since I've never catered and I need the money.
Is this a problem for you, isn't it? -Would it matter? -You're so great! Thank you! -You're really not going? -I'm really not.
They already live together.
Why do they need to get married? They love each other.
They wanna celebrate that love with the people close to them.
If you wanna call that a reason.
Who's the bitterest man in the living room? The bitterest man in the living room? Hi, neighbor.
-I thought you were over this.
-That has nothing to do with it.
She is my ex-wife, If she were marrying a guy, you wouldn't expect me to go.
If she were marrying a guy, she'd be the worst lesbian ever.
Did I miss it? No, I'm on right after this guy shoots himself.
She's pretty.
And she's really nice.
She taught me about how to work with the cameras and smell-the-fart acting.
-I'm sorry, what? -Excuse me? smell-the-fart acting You got so many lines to learn so fast that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one.
So while you're thinking you take this big pause where you look all intense.
Like this.
Here's my scene! Here's my scene! Mrs.
Wallace? Dr.
Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon.
Is she going to be all right? I'm afraid the situation is much more dire than we'd expected.
Your sister's suffering from a subcranial hematoma.
Perhaps we can discuss this further over coffee.
Nice! For a minute, I thought you were actually smelling something.
-Do it again! -All right! -That was so good! -Do it again.
"Damn it, Braverman! It's right there on the chart!" I gotta get to work.
I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.
No, that's me.
Oh, right.
Oh, thanks.
Couldn't.
Is everything okay? No.
One of my clients died on the massage table today.
Oh, my God! That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.
She was, you know, and her name was Mrs.
Adelman.
Oh, honey.
It's just so strange.
You know she probably woke up this morning and thought I'll have some breakfast, take a walk, then have my massage.
Little did she know God thought, "Okay, but that's it.
" Oh, but the weirdest things was I was cleansing her aura when it happened.
And when her spirit left her body I don't think it went very far.
What do you mean? I think it went into me.
This is so hard.
I can't decide between lamb or duck.
Well, lambs are scarier.
Otherwise the movie would've been called silence of the Ducks.
Okay, who ordered what? I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim.
And this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf? Oh, God.
You're so uptight about your mom coming.
I know.
I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry my life is total crap.
Talk about crap, just listen to Stella Neidman tell her story about Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.
I'm sorry.
At least you guys haven't need to hear staff she said in my head.
Pheebs? How long do you think this lady will be with us? I don't know.
She obviously has some unfinished business.
Sit up! There she is! -Mom! -Hey, sweetie! So this is where you work! Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? I guess that's the fun.
Pretty much.
Here, meet my friends.
Monica! You look gorgeous! Oh, my! The last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten.
This is Joey.
This is Phoebe.
This is Chandler.
You remember Ross? Oh, hello, Ross.
Mrs.
Greene.
What do you think of my daughter, in the apron with the big job! Oh, Mom! If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink.
Believe me, sometimes that happens.
This is just so exciting! You know, I never worked.
I went straight from my father's house to the sorority house to my husband's house.
I am just so proud of you! Really? Let's make a day of it! We will have lunch, we will shopping, we will get nails done, whatever you want.
Mom, I have to work.
What! No one else can pour coffee? I know who you remind me of.
Evelyn Durmer.
That's before the lousy face-lift.
Now she looks like Soupy Sales.
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