10. 457311 - The One With Russ (第2季)【完整台词】

- Hey.

Guess who's back in show business.

Ooh, ooh! Lorne Greene? No, no, Pheebs.

You know why? 'Cause he's dead.

Oh, no.

Okay, I guess this is going to seem kind of bittersweet now, butJoey, that's who.

- Oh, yay! - Really? Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for "Days of our Lives"! Kick ass! Oh, well, we have to celebrate.

You know what we should do? We should do, like, a soap opera theme.

Hey, yeah, we could all sleep together, and then one of us could get amnesia.

Hey, Rach, what time do you get off? We're all going to do something tonight.

Um, well, actually, I'm already done.

Ahem.

But II kind of got plans.

[GASPING] You have other friends? Yeah, I, uh, I have a I have a date.

- What? - With a man? What? What is so strange about me having a date? What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him 'cause he made that list about you? No, no, I'm not mad at him.

I'mI'm not really anything at him anymore.

- What are you talking about? - I don't know.

Iwhatever I was feeling, I'mnot.

But you guys came so close.

Oh, I know.

I'm sorry, you guys.

You're just going to have to get used to the fact that I will not be dating Ross.

Here he is.

Hi.

Guys, this is Russ.

Hi.

No.

No, no, no.

Stop saying you're not talented.

You're very talented.

It's just that with the bird dead and all, there's very little act left.

Oh, honey, give me a break, will you? - [KNOCK ON DOOR] - Oooh, oh.

I'll talk to you later.

Well, there's my favorite client.

So, tell me, darling, how was the audition? Well, I think it went pretty well.

II got a callback for Thursday.

Joey.

Have you ever seen me ecstatic? - No.

- Well, here it is.

Okay.

Uhlisten, there's something I want to talk to you about.

- The network casting lady - Oh, isn't Lori a doll? Oh, yeah, yeah, she's great, butI kind of got the feeling that she was sort ofcoming on to me.

And I definitely would get the part if I would have, you know if I would have sent the - Little General in.

- Oh.

I see.

Well, I'm just going to put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out.

Yeah, hi.

Lori, please.

Hi, darling.

So, how about Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver? Isn't he terrific? Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Okay, doll, I'll talk to you later.

Yeah, you're going to have to sleep with her.

- What's the matter? - It's Fun Bobby.

What, isn't he sober? Oh, he's sober all right.

Just turns out that Fun Bobby was fun for a reason.

Oh.

Okay.

All right, here you go, sweetie.

Thanks.

You want to hear something funny? Oh, God, yes.

There are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.

That is funny.

I needed to buy a hammer the other night, and I'm out walkin' around the neighborhood, but apparently, there are no hardware stores open past midnight in the Village.

Uh, hey, honey, don't you have to be at your interview now? Oh, yeah.

- See you guys.

- Bye ridiculously dull Bobby.

- OhmyGod.

- He's not that bad.

Not that bad? Did you not hear the hammer story? Okay, okay, don't get all squinky.

Maybe it was just the kind of story where you had to be there.

But I'm going to be there, for the rest of my life.

I mean, I can't break up with him.

I'm the one who made him quit drinking.

- He's dull because of me.

- All right, don't say that.

He's probably always been dull.

You just, you know, set it free.

- Hi.

- Hey, Ross.

Bah! Hi, Russ.

I've just got two more tables to clean, and then we'll go, okay? Okay.

I'll just sit here anduh chat with your, uh friend-typepeople.

Rachel? Um, hi.

- Hi.

- Okay.

So you know what you're doing, right? Ha, ha.

Waitressing? Well, yeah.

Butno.

I mean, um, okay.

Doesn'tdoesn't Russ just remind you of someone? - Huh, Bob Saget? - Oh, yeah.

- No, no, no.

Oh, oh.

- Hi.

Oh, my, oh.

What? What's wrong? - Iokay - She's just upset because she, uh, she buttered a spider into her toast this morning.

Mm-hm.

All right.

Listen, Pheebs.

This is going to be okay.