1
Joey, would you slow down?
They're not going to be sold out of
papers at one o'clock in the morning.
I'm excited.
I've never
gotten reviewed before.
You were so amazing as the king.
I was really impressed, I was.
Although, you know what?
You might want to consider
wearing underwear next time.
Yeah, 'cause when you sat down on your
throne, you could kind of see your
royal subjects.
Here it is, here it is!
"The only thing worse than the
mindless, adolescent direction
was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly
unskilled portrayal of the king.
"
Okay, look,
that is one guy's opinion.
- All right? Pheebs, read yours.
- Okay.
"The only thing worse than the
mindless, adolescent direction"
Does anybody have one
from a different paper?
Ross, read yours.
I don't want to.
Oh!
Joey, honey,
they don't know
- what they're talking about.
- Yeah.
Maybe they do.
I've been doin' this for ten years
and I haven't gotten anywhere.
There's got to
be a reason.
Oh, come on, man, you're just,
uhpaying your dues.
No, no, no.
Itit's too hard.
It's not worth it.
I quit.
- What?
- That's crazy.
[ALL PROTESTING]
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
one minute.
Wait a minute.
I believe this will
change your mind.
"In a mediocre play,
Joseph Tribbiani was
able to achieve brilliant
new levels of"
Continued on page 153.
"Sucking.
"
So no one told you
life was going to be this way
Your job's a joke,
you're broke
Your love life's D.
O.
A.
It's like you're always
stuck in second gear
And it hasn't been your day
Your week, your month,
or even your year
But I'll be there for you
When the rain starts to fall
I'll be there for you
Like I've been there before
I'll be there for you
'Cause you're there
for me, too
When I was little, I wanted
to be a veterinarian,
but then I found out you had to
put your hands into cows and stuff.
[SULLENLY]: Hi.
JOEY: Hey.
PHOEBE: Areare you okay?
Yeah, yeah, just a tough
day at work, you know?
A stegosaurus fell over
and trapped a kid.
Whoa, whoa, I know this jacket.
This is, thFun Bobby's jacket.
Where is he? What?
He, he's here, isn't he?
- Maybe.
- Don't toy with me.
- Geller!
- Hey, Fun Bobby!
Hey! Whoa, hey, you've
been working out, huh?
Not at all.
I love this guy.
Hey, I was so psyched to hear
you're back with my sister.
- You and me both.
- Hey, so,
what'd I miss, what'd I miss?
Come on.
Oh, we were just trying
to make Joey feel better.
- Hey, do you need me to pick you up?
- No, I'm all right, man, really.
No, I'm picking you up.
Hey, no, seriously.
I don't need you to pick me
[LAUGHING]
- All right! It still works.
- Okay.
Now, before I go, does anybody
else need to be picked up?
I'm still going to go.
- Okay, I'll see you later, babe.
- Ah.
Public display of affection coming
up.
You can avert your eyes.
Mm.
- See you.
- ALL: Good-bye.
See you later!
Fun Bobby is so great.
Oh, isn't he?
Oh, you know, I really think
this time it may work with him.
I mean, he just makes
me feel so good,
and I've been feeling so
lousy this last couple
of months, you know
no job, no boyfriend.
Well, at least my
cup is half full.
Half full of love.
And for our two-week
anniversary, he's going to
take me to his cousin's
cabin for the weekend.
Cabin of love.
We went through a lot of
wine tonight, you guys.
- Really? I only had two glasses.
- I just had a glass.
- Two.
- I had one glass.
I had about a mugful
in this lovely
"I got boned at the Museum
of Natural History" mug.
Okay, so that's, what?
Two bottles?
And yet, somehow
we went through five?
Whoa.
- Ohh.
- Oh.
Oh.
So what? So he drank
a lot tonight.
Yeah, but, you know,
now that I think about it,
I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby
without aa drink in his hand.
Yeah, and ooh, ooh,
yeah, you know?
Did you notice how he always
starts his stories with, um,
"Okay, I was so wasted," or,
"Oh, we were so bombed.
"
Or, um, ooh, ooh, "So I wake up and
I'm in this dumpster in Connecticut.
"
Monica, have you ever been with
him when he wasn't drinking?
Well, we just happen to go to a
lot of places where you might drink.
I mean, how do you go to a wine
tasting without having a drink?
Oror to a club, or to the
zoo?
Rach, does this
have non-fat milk?
Ehhumm, I don't know.
Why don't you taste it?
Mmm, no.
Oh, well, too late, sorry.
You already had some.
What do you say we make
these, uh, coffees Irish?
[CLEARING THROAT]
Umcake!
Yeah, we're going to
we're going to get some cake.
You know what, it seems
like you've been making
an awful lot of stuff
"Irish" lately.
Well, I would make them Belgian, but the
waffles are hard to get into that flask.
Bobby.
Yeah, okay.
Look, maybe this is none of my business,
or maybe it is, I don't know,
but, um, I'm kind of
worried about you.
Okay, look, this isn't the first time
somebody's said something to me about this,
but, I don't know.
I
always made excuses about it,
likeuh"I'm
just a social drinker,"
or "Hey, come on,
it's Flag Day.
"
So, what are you
saying now?
I guess I'm saying,
I'll try and quit.
I kind of like that
you worry about me.
So, what's goin' on, huh?
I am going to try
and quit drinking.
Oh.
Why?
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey.
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