4. 176254 - The One With the Cake (第10季)【完整台词】

Joey and Phoebe are gonna perform a little something for us.

Oh, great.

Aren't you gonna be embarrassed having nothing prepared? I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting.

So, Joey, what are you gonna do for us? I will be doing a dramatic reading of one of Emma's books.

Oh, okay.

Which one? Well, it's one of her favorites.

"Riding the Storm Out: Coping With Postpartum Depression.

" Love You Forever.

"Love You Forever, by Robert Munsch.

Published by Firefly Books.

Printed in Mexico.

A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.

And while she held him, she sang, 'I'll love you forever.

I'll like you for always.

As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.

'" "And while he rocked her, he sang: 'I'll love you forever.

I'll like you for always.

As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.

'" Oh, wow! That was amazing.

Thank you so much for that gift.

I was not ready for this today.

- Amazing.

Amazing.

- Phoebe, I'm sorry.

- Phoebe has prepared something as well.

- That's right.

I prepared a song for Emma, from my heart to hers.

For there's no greater gift than the gift of music.

Emma! Your name poses a dilemma.

'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna (he played the commanding officer in Rambo) Happy birthday Emma! Is that it? No, of course not.

No, I've also, you know, prepared a reading.

"Sex and the Single Mother.

" - "Finding your G-spot.

" - Oh, no, no, no! Hello, Emma.

Happy 18th birthday.

Right now, that seems so far away, Yes.

You'll be all grown up by then, and we'll be Well, your grandfather and I might not be here.

That's true.

This message could be coming to you from beyond the grave, Emma.

- After all, my parents died very young.

- And my cholesterol's off the charts.

Remember, Emma, heart disease kills women too.

Okay, cut! Great.

Great.

That was just - Yeah.

- Oh, good.

Ross, don't forget to get a shot of Emma's cake.

- It's in a box in the fridge.

- Okay, sure.

You're gonna love this cake.

I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Carino's.

Oh, my God, that place has the creamiest frosting! I used to hitchhike there when I was a kid.

Well, anyway, they make these great novelty cakes in all different shapes.

And if you give them a photo, they'll copy it in icing.

- Did you do a picture of Emma? - Yes.

On a cake shaped like a bunny.

Rach? Does this bakery by any chance also bake erotic cakes? Say, for bachelorette parties? Ross, what are you talking? Oh, my God! They put my baby's face on a penis! Now it's a party! Wait, you guys, this isn't funny.

If I wanted this cake to be a disaster, I would have baked it myself! Is it okay that I still think it looks delicious? - Jack, look at this.

- I know what you're thinking, Judy.

The resemblance is uncanny.

I am this close to tugging on my testicles again.

No, no, this is not what I ordered, okay? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter's birthday.

And I need a bunny cake right now! Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby's face off the penis so we could put it on the bunny.

That is a weird sentence.

Oh, believe you me, I am going to bring this cake back.

I don't even want it in my home.

Don't touch it! I'm so confused! Yes, I still want my daughter's picture, but on a bunny cake! Yellow cake, chocolate frosting with nuts! To be fair, this one does have nuts.

Mon, it was nice of you to loan Rachel your car so she could get the cake.

- It was nice of her to pull my hair till I dropped the key.

Well, while we're waiting, you could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh? Okay? Hi, Emma.

It's the year 2020.

Are you still enjoying your nap? We're Aunt Monica and Uncle Chandler, by the way.

You may not recognize us because we haven't spoken to your parents in 17 years.

We used to be married.

But then we missed a weekend away together, and things kind of unraveled because of you.

Happy birthday.

Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now.

We seriously have to go if we want to get to Vermont.

- The last train leaves in a half-hour.

- And I have a massage client soon.

You guys, just, please, a little bit longer.

I promise, Rachel will be back with the cake any minute.

Monica, remember the frosting, huh? All right, five more minutes.

Hello? Oh, no, what happened? Okay, okay, where are you? Okay, I'll be right there.

Was that Emma? Is she up? Rachel got pulled over for speeding.

She forgot her license.

I have to bring it to her.

- lf you're leaving, I'm definitely going.

- Wait, if anybody gets to go, it's us! We've been complaining the longest! No, wait, you guys.

No, you can't leave.

Rachel already feels bad that the cake's messed up.

How do you think she'll feel when she comes back and you're gone? I don't know.

You'll tell us on Monday.

Joey, you're in charge, okay? You make sure nobody leaves.

Got it! Hey! Where do you think you're going? To the bathroom.

Well, the rest of you get comfortable, because we are gonna be here for a - Wait, there's a window in there.

- No! He's not getting away that easy! What are you doing? Get the hell out of here! Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it.

- No, it did not.

- No.

Well, we'd better get going.