Do not let me sit in one of those.
We'll be here for days.
Listen, Adrienne, you can't tell Chandler about this.
Oh, believe me, Ross, I won't be telling anybody about this.
Cool.
I didn't know you knew about that.
Well, I did.
And it hurt.
That's when I wrote the song "Betrayal in the Common Room.
" Man, I'm sorry.
Look, that was a long time ago.
So I made out with Adrienne, and you made out with Missy.
Well, I guess we're even.
We are even, right? One more thing.
I was so pissed at you that night, I wanted to get back at you.
So I thought, "Who does Ross like more than anybody?" What did you do to my mom? Not her.
I am so drunk.
That's weird.
I've had the same number of beers as you and don't feel anything.
So you girls having fun? For your information, ass-munch I've lost four pounds.
Maybe even five with all the dancing.
- Somebody order a pizza? - Oh, that's me! I am so not gonna do good on my SATs tomorrow.
Well, maybe you could go to school here next year and we could totally hang out.
Oh, yeah.
There's a plan.
Why don't I just start taking my smart pills now.
Well, maybe you could get in on a beauty scholarship.
What a line.
- So where are you applying to? - Well I think it's kind of really important that I go somewhere where there's sun.
So I'm sort of Hey! I'm in college, and I'm in a band.
Yeah, okay.
What's the matter? You never saw a 50-year-old stripper cry before? You know, it's fine.
We'll pay you.
No, no, you're right.
Who am I kidding? I should have hung up that breakaway jockstrap years ago.
What am I gonna do? I mean this has been my life for 32 years.
Taking my clothes off in front of people is all I know.
No, there's got to be something else that you can do.
I mean, what skills do you have? I don't know.
I can make my pecs dance.
I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks.
I can go to that special place inside me where I feel no shame.
So maybe something in an office.
Or you could You could teach stripping.
You know, share your gift.
Pass the torch.
You know, actually, that's not a bad idea.
I could do it out of my apartment.
I don't think my mom would mind.
There you go.
Okay.
You think you're gonna be okay? - Yeah.
Yeah.
- Yeah.
This is so weird.
You never know when it's gonna be your last dance.
And I didn't even get a chance to finish it.
Finish it.
- What? - Your last dance.
Do it for us.
- Really? - Really? Yeah.
Yeah, he deserves to do the thing he loves one last time.
Okay.
All right.
Get ready, ladies.
Okay.
Oh, this is so hot! Oh, no, don't stop.
Have to.
Welcome to the Winner's Circle.
Joey, Gene, you guys ready? - Yeah.
- Sure.
Okay.
Give me 60 seconds on the clock, please.
Ready? Go.
Oak.
Maple.
Elm.
Birch.
I don't know.
Types of trees? Buenos dÃas.
Enchilada.
Por favor.
Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't know any Spanish words.
A match.
A candle.
Things that go: when you put them out.
A torch.
A bonfire.
- Your pee.
- Things that burn.
"I'd like to go for a walk.
" "Scratch my belly.
" Dude.
Dude, I think you're losing it.
"I have fur.
" "I like to bark.
" What a dog says.
- Pepperoni.
- Pizza toppings! Cindy Crawford.
Christie Brinkley.
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