Terry, I know I haven't worked here very long but would it be possible if I got a $1 00 advance on my salary? An advance? So I can spend Thanksgiving with my family.
Every year we ski in Vail, and my father pays for my ticket.
But I've started this independent thing which is actually why I took this "job.
" Rachel, Rachel, sweetheart! You' re a terrible, terrible waitress.
Really, really awful.
I hear what you're saying.
I'm with you.
But I'm trying really hard, and I think I'm doing better.
I really do.
-Does anybody need coffee? -Yeah, over here.
Look at that.
The One Where Underdog Gets Away Excuse me, sir? Hi.
You come in here all the time.
Do you think there's a possibility that you could advance me my tips? Okay, okay.
That's fine.
Fine.
Sorry about that spill before! Only 98.
50 to go! Did you know Mom and Dad are going to Puerto Rico for Thanksgiving? -What? No, they're not.
-Yes, the Blymans invited them.
You' re wrong.
-I am not wrong.
-You' re wrong.
No, I just talked to them.
I' m calling Mom.
-Hey, hey.
-Hey! And this from the Cry for Help Department: Are you wearing makeup? Yes, I am.
As of today, I'm officially Joey T ribbiani, actor/model.
That's funny.
I was thinking you look more like, Joey T ribbiani, man/woman.
-What were you modeling for? -Posters for the free clinic.
So you' re gonna be one of those healthy guys? -The asthma guy's really cute.
-Know which one you'll be? No, but I hear Lyme disease is open, so you know.
-Good luck, man.
I hope you get it.
-Thanks.
You were right.
How can they do this? It's Thanksgiving! What if I cook dinner at my place? I'll make it just like Mom's.
Will you make mashed potatoes with the lumps? They're not actually supposed to I'll work on the lumps.
-Joey, you' re going home? -Yeah.
Chandler, you' re still boycotting all the pilgrim holidays? We're celebrating Thanksgiving in December because he's lunar.
So you're free Thursday then? -Yeah.
Oh, can I come? -Yeah.
-Rach, are you gonna make it to Vail? -Absolutely.
Shoop, shoop, shoop.
-Only $1 02 to go.
-I thought it was 98.
50? Yeah, well, it was, but l I broke a cup, so.
-Well, l' m off to Carol's.
-Ooh, ooh, why don't we invite her? Ooh, ooh, because she's my ex-wife and will want to bring her ooh, ooh, lesbian life partner.
Hi.
Is Carol here? -No, she's at a faculty meeting.
-I just came by to pick up my skull.
Well, not mine, but.
-Come in.
-Thanks.
Carol borrowed it, and I have to get it back to the museum.
-What's it look like? -Kind of like a big face without skin.
Yes.
I'm familiar with the concept.
-We can just look for it.
-Okay.
Wow, you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian.
Well, you know, you have to take a course.
Otherwise they don't let you do it.
Hey, Yertle the Turtle! A classic.
Actually, I'm reading it to the baby.
The baby that hasn't been born yet? Wouldn't that mean you're crazy? You don't think they can hear sounds in there? You' re not serious? I mean, you really talk to it? Yeah, all the time.
I want the baby to know my voice.
Well, that's just Do you talk about me? -Yeah.
All the time.
-Really? But, we just refer to you as " Bobo the Sperm Guy.
" If she's talking to it, I just think I should get some belly time too.
Not that I believe this.
I believe it.
I think the baby can hear everything.
-Really? -I'll show you.
This'll seem weird.
But you put your head inside this turkey and we'll all talk and you'll hear everything we say.
I'd just like to say I'm totally behind this experiment.
In fact, I'd very much like to butter your head.
-Hey.
-Rach, did you make your money? No, not even close.
Forget Vail.
Forget seeing my family.
Forget shoop, shoop, shoop.
-Rach, here's your mail.
-Thanks.
You can put it on the table.
No.
Here's your mail! Thanks.
You can put it on the table! Would you just open it! Oh, my God! You guys are great! We all chipped in.
-We did? -You owe me $20.
Thank you.
Thank you so much! Chandler, got your traditional holiday feast.
T omato soup grilled-cheese fixings and a family-size bag of Funyuns.
This is your Thanksgiving dinner? What is it with you and this holiday? -I'm 9 years old.
-I hate this story! We've finished this magnificent Thanksgiving dinner.
I have a mouthful of pumpkin pie.
And then my parents tell me they're getting divorced.
Oh, my God! Very difficult to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner once you've seen it in reverse.
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